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Dancing with the Stars – Season 9 Premiere (Part 2)

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Yesterday just wasn’t enough. We need two more hours of dancing. Specifically, dancing… with the stars! Tonight is ladies’ night, and they want to make sure we know it. The show starts with a group number featuring the female professionals, to the tune of “She’s a Lady.” It’s like all the bad parts of Solid Gold, and none of the good.

Cut to Tom and Samantha up on the balcony, with Tom blathering about how great everything is, and Samantha staring a hole into the camera with soulless, vacant eyes. And now, the celebrities! Nobody falls down the stairs, so really it’s not worth recapping. Although just like last night, the trumpet player goes absolutely crazy with a solo as we pan down the row of celebs. Trumpet Guy is now my favorite member of the cast.

The ladies will be doing either the Salsa or Viennese Waltz for their individual dances, and the Cha-Cha-Cha and Fox Trot for the relay.

Debi Mazar & Maksim Chmerkovskiy: Debi tells us that she’s an actress who specializes in strong female roles. I hear she’s more than a little bit crazy. She’s tickled pink to work with Maks, and she proceeds to drive him nuts in rehearsal by never shutting up. They launch into their Salsa up on the little stage in front of the band, and the first part is just a bunch of sexy walking. Finally about halfway through they start doing something that looks vaguely like a Salsa, although it appears that Debi keeps forgetting the steps. They do some cool turns at the end, but I just don’t think the content was there. We go to the judges while Debi is gasping and heaving for breath. Len compliments her energy, but notes there’s a lot of work to do. Bruno loves how she works her “bazooms,” and he “got a lot of value out of that.” It’s the most complimentary pervy insult ever. Carrie Ann thinks she’s thinking too much. Then Maks pinches Bergeron’s tush, which is way hotter than Debi’s bazoom-shaking. The scores aren’t shocking: 6-5-5.

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Dancing With The Stars – Season 9 Premiere

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Editor: Everyone please welcome guest author Missy to The Disney Blog  She’ll be alternating coverage of Dancing With The Stars with The Disney Chick.

Ah, autumn. Time for crisp, cool weather; beautiful colors in the trees; and lots of reality television. Whether you like dancing, or celebrities, or awkward pseudo-famous people who don’t know the Paso Doble from their elbow … it’s time for Dancing with the Stars!

Tonight is night one of a three-night extravaganza. With a record-setting 16 stars, the dancing will take place over two nights, for a full two hours each night. Tonight it’s the guys, and they drive that fact home hard with an opening number set to “The Boys Are Back in Town.” Our eight professional men are lowered into the audience on a giant lighted rickety-looking elevatorish thing. They then proceed to kick and twirl and flail in synch, and it’s a delightfully ghastly way to open the season.

Let’s meet the stars! The horns blare, the lights flash, and the celebrities come down the stairs. Aaron, Chuck, Mark, Ashley, Donny, Louie, Michael, and Tom are followed by Debi, Melissa, Mya, Kathy, Natalie, Macy, Joanna, and Kelly. We pan down the row of pairs as the trumpet player in the band goes absolutely crazy with a solo. Go, trumpet guy!

Tom and Samantha gab about the super tough opening week: everyone will have to do both a Latin dance and a ballroom dance on their very first night. No wonder it’s taking 70 hours this week. Wednesday will be a double elimination, with the lowest-scoring man and woman going home. Now, on to the dancing!

Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnoff: Aaron had his first pop single when he was 8 years old. He strikes me as a scruffier, not-quite-as-sweet Cody Linley. He does a bunch of big, awkward gymnastics when he and Karina first meet. Then he puts on Cuban heels to learn the Cha-Cha-Cha, and pairs them with some really atrocious clothes. Is that a tank top or the bodice of a dirndl? I really shouldn’t be able to see this kid’s nipples in the neckhole of his shirt. Egads. The dance begins, and it’s all over the place. He stomps, he stumbles, he slides. There are a few good moves hidden in there, and it looks like he may actually have potential. Certainly there’s room for improvement. Karina’s gold-fringed pants are incredibly distracting, and Aaron almost drops her at their final pose. Len agrees that there’s potential. Bruno thinks the energy is all over the place. Carrie Ann makes a vaguely uncomfortable joke about little Aaron Carter all grown up and looking good. The scores come in 7-8-7, which seems a little high to me.

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But first, the stars reflect on their breakthrough dances as we watch them again. Think of it was the audio commentary. (I’m telling you, Surviving Suburbia is doomed is they are vamping this show instead of airing the other.)Read More »Dancing with the Stars: Season 8 Semi-Finals

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