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How one negative Disney’s Animal Kingdom review is actually a big win

The vast majority of reviews for Disney’s Animal Kingdom you find on Google Maps are 5-star positive remarks, often filled with tips that will make your experience better. The critical reviews of Disney’s Animal Kingdom on Google are much fewer, but they do contain some real gems. People who ‘bought’ Fast passes, struggles with long lines, crowded walkways, lack of shade, rude cast members, and lately complaints about guest confusion when evacuated from the new rides in Pandora. The complaints are a litany of guests who either don’t take the time to plan or expect Disney to make an exception for them because they’re a special case.

Among those serious complaints is one single-star review that, when read in a certain light, is actually a big win for the park.

It’s likely this review is not authentic, the author has no other reviews on Google, regardless, we should all be able to suspend our disbelief long enough to actually think that these stories Disney Imagineers and cast members are telling us are real. Wouldn’t that be great, if just for a few moments.

Meanwhile, I hope Disney is reading the Google reviews and learning a few lessons about how customer experience could be improved.

40 thoughts on “How one negative Disney’s Animal Kingdom review is actually a big win”

  1. Heck, I went on a ride that accidentally went back in time and I almost got killed by dinosaurs.. they need to shut that park down!

    (and don’t get me started on the elevator in that one hotel in Hollywood Studios!)

    1. We had the same problem! The man leading the tour had us go to the late Cretaceous period when his supervisor specifically told him to go to the early Cretaceous period. Hopefully he’s not working there anymore.

  2. I was terrified when I saw a town burning and Pirates running amok. Thank goodness we made it out alive.

  3. And they wouldn’t let us out to pet the animals! What’s with that? I paid good money to take this tour, and we should be able to get out and pet and feed the animals. I mean, it’s not like they’re real, right?

  4. OMG, the problems we ran into when we were on what we thought was a peaceful star tour! The whole ship was shaking and I thought we were going to crash.

  5. We went on that big golf ball in Epcot. Part of the ride was burning and they didn’t even stop the ride!

  6. i thought these mountains were supposed to float? Why aren’t they floating? False advertisement. I want my money back.

  7. Let’s not forget about that famous coaster in Tomorrowland in which the lights are out every time! Having people ride something where they can’t see where they are going just seems irresponsible! And of course Everest and Big Thunder both have tracks that discontinue and one results in the brakes failing and rolling backwards.

    Much of the public scares me, but compliments to the Cast Member above that did a great job of selling it!

  8. Can confirm article is true, witnessed guest at GR and know she escalated the issue to guest comm. LOL

  9. Don’t get me started on that river ride in animal kingdom that brings you down a waterfall and a fire right near you!

  10. How can I go to Mars without training? And that cast member was super negligent leaving guests in the hands of that gangster. Good thing the cursed bug took him out.

  11. I’m more concerned about the rodent that is allowed everywhere… you’d think they’d have pest control by now!

  12. I’m really concerned about these Disney rides now, like they promised tickets and a limo to aerosmith’s concert and i ended up upside down! The driver was too fast, i could’ve died!!

  13. I too have a complaint. I went on what was supposed to be a jungle cruise and all I saw was the back side of water.

    1. LOL – I was there today and saw the same thing. And then the skipper said there was a dock on the left and a dock on the right, and that was a paradox. I was so confused.

  14. My bucket list includes a trip to Disney World. The times I’ve seen articles about the park make these comments extra funny. Keep up the great work.

  15. And there’s a cast member deliberately going behind her boss’ back and bringing back contraband dinosaurs from the past. He totally made us accomplices and told us to keep quiet! I felt like I should turn him in, but didn’t want to get in trouble.

  16. I can’t believe Disney would send us on a mission to mars without proper training! I mean, thank God that Lt. Dan talked us through and saved us all!

  17. And have you been to Universal? OMG, so many things go wrong there every time I go. Years ago I was minding my own business and visiting they labs from back to the future and some guy stole one of the time machines and they needed ME to help them, like they couldn’t find anyone who actually had experience with a time machine.

    If that wasn’t enough, the same day we were out touring the town of Amity where the movie jaws was filmed and one of their boats sank! They said their was a shark sighting and tried to get us off the ride a few times, but in the end our complete moron of a diver somehow killed the shark, then asked up to cover it up when we got off the ride or he would get in trouble and no one would go on the tour.

    So this year, my more recent visit, I noticed they closed down those death traps (probably because they realized what happened when I was there) and i decided to go to Island of Adventure and tour the Jurassic Park area, considering I love the zoo and was curious to see what they had done. Well, we go onto the boat ride and everything is going smooth until one of the water dinosaurs hits the boat and put us into a restricted area. This was a very tense situation and there were so many things that went wrong that we were lucky to escape with our lives, and i was soaking wet in the process.

    Needless to say, I am never going back to Universal again until they fix some of their safety issues.

  18. On a serious note (not like my last post from above), I was a cast member in frontier land operations in the late 70’s. Even back then you would be amazing what people thought were real that was part of the ride. It blew my mind all the time. But isn’t a numbers game. If 1 in 100,000 people are literally crazy, that means roughly there is one certifiably crazy person in the park every day that odds are in you are in one of the popular rides you may have to deal with.

    My favorite was while working as the lead at the Haunted Mansion, the person on the unload belt called me on the intercom phone and said I needed to come out right away because there was an issue with one of the guests. When I got there, there was a lady visibly agitated about something, almost in a panic. After calming her down I ascertained that she was literally worried about the ghost now following her and wanted an Exorcism performed so said ghost would NOT follow her home, babbling something like she had a recent Exorcism at her home already and didn’t need to go through the ordeal again. This was no a joke. She was over the top religious (praying out loud trying to Exorcise her self I guess) and was not kidding. I sent her to guest relations at city hall (like i did everyone that had an issue I couldn’t resolve myself) and told her they had a clergyman on staff for that and assured her they could keep said ghost from following her home. I wish i could have been “a fly on the wall” to hear the conversation when she got there.

    To be honest, if I was working there today and said that to someone I probably would have been fired for saying that.

  19. None of this is as bad as those poor children who are forced to stand in “it’s a small world” and sing that song over and over without ever getting a break. How can they do this to children from all over the world?

  20. They really need to do a better job cleaning that creepy old house – dust and cobwebs EVERYWHERE! And I’m worried about the cast members’ morale – they never smile and look half-dead!

  21. Let me guess. You’ve contacted a lawyer and plan to sue big rich Disney for your supposed trauma. Hoping to make some money, aren’t you? You know that the bridge was rickety on purpose. You really think Disney would allow their vehicles to go over a broken bridge? Bet your kids weren’t even seated at the time like they were supposed to be. But, like the woman at McDonald’s who got burned on some coffee she spilled, you’re now hoping to make some cash. Settle out of court. No one is buying your story.

    1. Stella only wanted her medical bills paid, that’s it. The jury awarded her that money. She died from that burn.

  22. Did you know there is only one house in the entire park, and its haunted by actual ghosts?!?

  23. I was on the Great Movie Ride and a Gangster came out of nowhere shooting a gun and hijacked our ride vehicle. My family and I were terrified! Fortunately about ten minutes later he tried to steal a jewel that apparently was guarded by a curse and got what was coming to him and we were saved. Personally, we will never go there again because next time we might not get so lucky.

  24. I can attest to the horrors. I almost died. I was on the ‘Under The Sea’ ride and they don’t even give you scuba gear!

    I held my breath as long as I could, and fretted about taking in water when I passed out, but in a miracle, even after losing consciousness, I must have held my breath because I was dazedly escorted off the ride. But this could be deadly to those who were not tested by a brother that had a Dutch oven habit.

    Think of the children Disney. Think of the children.

  25. All of you crack me up! Thanks for making me smile. There are all kinds of crazy in this world, even at Disney.

  26. My kids and I rode Mission Space, but my husband decided not to ride. He said he would wait for us on a bench by the exit. The ride operators never informed us that we would be entering hypersleep for months. When we eventually returned from Mars my husband was angry he had been forced to wait for 9 weeks on that bench with nothing to eat but turkey legs and churros. I expected more from Disney and Lieutenant Dan!

  27. Nobody has mentioned the poor captive birds and bears that have to sing all day. No wonder Big Al has become obsessed with blood! I can’t believe PETA hasn’t gotten involved.

  28. I went to see the Frozen show at Hollywood Studios and everyone around me was so rude singing over the stars on stage! I couldn’t even hear the singers voices over everyone else’s voices. I was so mad that my show was ruined by so many of the guests around me. Why can’t I go to a show and just enjoy it???

  29. And not to even mention all those bugs running around in The Bug’s Life theater. Doesn’t Disney have pest control?

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