Hold onto your bandannas and bust out the eyeliner, because it’s Rock Week on Dancing with the Stars. What does this mean, other than that our stars must dance to rock songs? Whatever happened to just plain ol’ “Dance Week”? And really, how “rock” can one be while ballroom dancing? And with this challenge of rock, will our stars be legends like the Rolling Stones or … more like Jefferson Starship?
Before the competition got underway, DWTS counted down the most popular routines of all time (as voted on by viewers at home). They are:
10 – Shawn Johnson and Mark Ballas – Freestyle
9 – Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson – Argentine Tango
8- Helio Castroneves and Julianne Hough – Quickstep
7 – Apolo Ohno and Julianne Hough – Freestyle
6 – Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough – Paso Doble
5 – Mel B and Maksim Chmerkovskiy – Paso Doble *
4 – Nicole Scherzinger and Derek Hough – Paso Doble
3 – Apolo Ohno and Julianne Hough – Samba
2 – Gilles Marini and Cheryl Burke – Argentine Tango
1 – Drew Lachey and Cheryl Burke – Freestyle
* This would have been my pick, hands down, no question.
I know I’m usually hard on DWTS for all their unnecessary filler and padding during these shows, but I loved revisiting these routines. Remember when the stars on this show were actually good? No, not just good – great? (If you want to read the ravings – and rantings – from when these shows originally aired, you can check out the recaps archive on my usual blog.)
Oh wait, we still have an entire performance show to get through? Do we have to? Can’t we just continue this pleasant stroll down memory lane? Sigh. Time to rock!
Audrina and Tony – Paso Doble: In rehearsals, Audrina has to work on being “tough.” They danced to “Another One Bites the Dust,” which is fitting, because that’s exactly what will happen tomorrow night! Will it be these two? It’s possible. This paso doble was a big ball of meh – Audrina often sacrifices performance in favor of precision, and she did it again here. It was wooden, and boring, and not rock. Len said she needs to work on getting into character, Bruno agreed with Len, and Carrie Ann said she’s shown a lot of improvement since week one. Scores: 8-8-8.
Kyle and Lacey – Tango: Kyle understands the gravity of his situation and has been practicing like whoa. And it showed! His footwork has definitely improved over last week, and he turned in an electrifying performance. Bruno said he saw lots of improvement, Carrie Ann said his carriage was amazing, and Len said the dance was much better than last week. Scores: 8-7-8.
Jennifer and Derek – Paso Doble: Jennifer and Derek have worked through all their tension from last week However – Pink? Not so “rock.” The dance, however, was pretty rockin’ … in that “we just destroyed a hotel room” kind of way. This routine was just a lot of crazy, to the point where Jennifer literally spun out of control toward the end. Carrie Ann said the dance was disjointed, Len said she had so much “attack” she lost control, and Bruno said she lost the quality of movement. Scores: 6-7-7.
Rick and Cheryl – Tango: Rick Fox as “rock” looks insane. Literally, he looks like he just stumbled out of an East Village nightclub wearing Prince’s clothes. This tango suffered from some of the same problems that Audrina had – despite the smoke machines, it just wasn’t very exciting. I think he got so caught up in trying to hold his posture that he didn’t really embrace the dance. Len said it was excellent, Bruno called him a Mohican on the warpath, and Carrie Ann said he sometimes looks too stern. Scores: 8-8-8.
Bristol and Mark – Tango: Bristol, unsatisfied with last week’s gorilla fiasco, decided that air guitaring in the middle of the tango would be appropriate. Has she ever watched this show before? Why don’t they just do some lifts while they’re at it? And “According to You”? Not rock. And definitely not air guitar worthy. This dance was a huuuuge improvement over last week, but Bristol has a lot of catching up to do if she wants to win. Bruno said it was her best performance, Carrie Ann said it was amazing, and Len said she gets docked a point for breaking the hold in order to air guitar. See? Scores: 8-7-8.
Kurt and Anna – Paso Doble: BRET MICHAELS IS HERE. How has he not been a contestant on this show already? Season 12? Please? And just when this couldn’t be any more awesome, Kurt and Anna danced to “The Final Countdown” (name that TV show). This was theatrical, passionate, and actually – kind of “rock.” Was it well danced? Eh. But I loved it anyway. Carrie Ann said it didn’t have a lot of polish, Len said he looked awkward, and Bruno said he looked like he was doing karate. Scores: 6-6-6.
Brandy and Maks – Tango: Brandy and Jennifer seemed to be drinking the same water – although she wasn’t as crazy as Jennifer was, Brandy appeared to lose control several times during this routine. It was … frantic. Len said it was the dance of the night (whaaaat?), Bruno called them “Tina Turner and Mad Maks,” and Carrie Ann said she got goosebumps. Scores: 8-9-9.
Dance Marathon! You know the rules. Everyone dances together and couples are eliminated one at a time until there is one couple left standing. And finally! We got some real rock music – ZZ Top, no less. Kurt/Anna were out first, followed by Bristol/Mark, Rick/Cheryl, Kyle/Lacey, Audrina/Tony, and Jennifer/Derek – making Brandy and Maks the marathon winners.
So, who will stage dive into shame tomorrow night? I think it’s going to be a rough elimination, no matter what. See you then!
The Disney Chick will be fondly reminiscing of seasons past at www.thedisneychick.com.