Dancing with the Stars: Week 4 Results

Last night’s show was a whole new party – a circular stage, an acoustic sound, and an unfortunate Situation. And after a night of mostly solid performances, suspense was in the air as the ballroom readied itself to devour another couple.

The top three scoring couples of last night – Audrina/Tony, Brandy/Maks, and Jennifer/Derek – were immediately sent to safety. And then my least favorite DWTS Results Show Tradition – the “What Did the Audience Members Think?” montage. The ones who make it into this clip reel almost never have anything to say, and this feature is really about spotlighting what famous people were in the audience last night. Carson Kressley! Christopher Knight! No one cares! (Carson K. and I used to frequent the same Starbucks. He’s equally fabulous in person.) And no surprise here – Jennifer and Derek gave the encore performance, and it was just as good the second time around.

Remember the Goo Goo Dolls? That band with the stupid name who sang that song that made Nicolas Cage and Meg Ryan fall in love and be angels and someone dies or whatever happened in City of Angels, a movie that no one remembers yet everyone owns the soundtrack to? Well, they’re here, and they sang “Iris” and their new song that sounds like “Iris” (because really, don’t all Goo Goo Dolls songs sound alike?). Jason from So You Think You Can Dance was one of the dancers during this number, which is strange, because he’s not a ballroom dancer. But still, nice to see him again!

Yay! Kyle and Lacey are safe! Bristol and Mark were put in jeopardy, which wasn’t a total surprise, given her scores last night. Rick/Cheryl was also safe, and Kurt/Anna joined Bristol/Mark in the jeopardy pile.

Next up was a segment called “10 Outta Len with Professor Len” (actual title), where we learned what it takes to get a 10 from Len. The good news? You get one point just for showing up.

This week’s Macy’s Stars of Dance performance was by the cast of Forever Tango, now on Broadway. After the MSoD performances of the past few weeks, this one was kind of meh. Then Florence and the Machine took to the stage to perform “Dog Days are Over,” a song that is apparently really popular but I’ve never heard of it (I don’t own a radio/ am not cool).

And it wouldn’t be Dancing with the Stars without a healthy dose of drama. After his disappointing scores last night, The Situation had a minor meltdown in the kiss-and-cry. Upset that the judges had been so “unpositive,” he stormed off. Karina shrugged, because she probably saw this coming. And no surprise – they were in jeopardy. Florence and Corky were safe.

Sigh, the weekly montage. It’s time for the annual “A Day in the Life of the Stars” shtick. We get it – they eat, they sign autographs, they practice, they have costume fittings, they get their hair and makeup done, they perform on Mondays. Yawn.

And, oh dear me, as Tom is reading the final results The Situation is jiggling his pecs. At least if he’s going down, he’s going down in a blaze of … ridiculous. And yes friends, this was his final situation. Part of me is sad, because he had so much nonsense left to bring. Part of me knows it was for the best, and that there’s probably a Jersey Shore marathon on right now.

The Disney Chick will be fist-pumping over at www.thedisneychick.com.