Dancing with the Stars: Week Two Results

After last night’s escapades, two questions remain: will ABC try to pretend like the Sarah Palin-booing didn’t happen? And can Michael Bolton really survive a three?

The show didn’t waste any time getting things underway. Kyle/Lacey, who I now believe are the frontrunners this season, were pronounced safe. Brandy/Maks, they of large egos, are in jeopardy (not to be confused with being in the bottom two). Kyle and Lacey also performed the encore this week, and continued to be adorable. Can’t wait to see what dance they are assigned next week.

 The first musical performance was Janelle Monet, who performed “Tightrope.” I was not familiar with Janelle, who seems to be a long-lost member of the Jackson Five. For a lil’ girl, she has a lot of stage presence. But the singing? Eh.

And then – awkwardness explained! Brooke pulled Derek and Jennifer aside backstage and said, “Now, last night, the audience was booing your scores. But the press reported that they were booing Sarah Palin.” GASP! said Jennifer. NEVER! said Derek. “Oh, yes,” nodded Brooke, “but weeeee know the truth, don’t we? Let us show this raw footage of what reeeeally happened.” So they show the judges table after Derek and Jennifer had left the stage last night, and the crowd is all rumbly and then Bruno starts egging people on and yells, “Whatsa mattah you?” (interpret that as you will). So, sure, they could have been booing this strangeness. BUT, during this fracas, you also see Tom walk across the ballroom to where Sarah Palin was sitting for her interview, so it’s equally possible that everyone realized she was there at that same moment and started to boo. I guess this means we will never know. Thanks, ambiguous footage.

But enough of “Boogate 2010,” because we have more results to dish out. Florence/Corky, Bristol/Mark, Audrina/Tony, and Jennifer/Derek were safe, and The Situation/Karina were placed in jeopardy.

Montage time! This one was titled, “The Professionals’ Pre-Show Rituals,” which range from throwing a football around the parking lot to, um, smelling the dance floor. Yup, Corky smells the floor. He also takes off his shoes and massages the floor with his feet. I’ll let you think about that for a minute. Weirded out? Good, me too. Let’s continue.

 The Macy’s Stars of Dance feature is back, and this week’s routine was choreographed by Rich and Tone. There were acrobats, contortionists, ballerinas, and aerialists – I was half-expecting someone to pop out of a cannon, but I guess they have to save some stuff for next week. Then we went right into a performance of “The Weight of My Mistakes” by Seal. Yawn.

Time for the second montage of the night: “Everyone Wants to Win.” Losing is not an option, I’m here to win, I won’t stop until I’m the last one standing, we are the champions, and every other sports-movie cliché you’ve ever heard. As it turns out, Kurt/Anna, Margaret/Louis, and Rick/Cheryl are all safe and will be back to make more montages next week.

Then finally, the last round of results. Brandy/Maks were safe, and so was The Situation/Karina. And so, shocking no one, Michael and Chelsie were sent home. Guess he should have stayed in the dog house.

Next week, the couples must tell a story through their dances. I’m sure Corky is already smelling the floor in anticipation.

The Disney Chick makes montages (of words) over at www.thedisneychick.com.

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