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Reports from the Swamp

I’ve been working on gathering the details for this morning’s post for a year now. Lot’s of exciting changes have been confirmed as coming to Walt Disney World, but I didn’t want to post it until the time was right. So hang on to those hats and glasses, this here’s the wildest ride in the blogosphere.

Let’s start with the Magic Kingdom. Guests who take the express monorail have no doubt noticed a some construction going on down by Bay Lake outside the train tracks. Well, I can confirm that this is the ground breaking for a new east coast version of ‘Indiana Jones Adventure’  complete with those jeeps, to be a tie-in with the next chapter in the movie saga. That’s not all that’s coming to Disneyland East from it’s older brother, Club 33 will open a branch in the soon to be remodeled Plaza Cafe. This will provide a perfect location for the fireworks and castle shows.

EPCOT, as has been rumored for years, will finally get its new country. Get ready to travel to Turkey. A Turkish coffee house will be a new dining option. A  ‘movie’ will be the central attraction and will show how the country that bridges Europe and the middle east is coming into the modern era. Look for buildings to start going up next to Germany. Too many movies you say. So does Disney. That’s why the France pavilion will lose their movie and replace it with a Ratatouille Roller Coaster.

Future World will get a ‘green’ make over. Each of the main buildings will be replaced with new structures made to maximize the power of the sun. Innoventions will stay, but the Odyssey building will go and a new pavilion will rise up as a dedicated HQ for EPCOT’s successful twice yearly festivals. Speaking of replacements, the two little shops on the edge of the World Showcase are going away. The buildings will become two story pyramid like structures with special reserved seating for Illuminations on the second stories.

Disney’s Animal Kingdom will finally get that new land everyone has been asking for… um, not Beastly Kingdom, that ship has sailed. But Australia will open with a land and sea theme. Think a miniature SeaWorld with Disney storytelling behind it. Oh, and the Crush coaster from Paris Disneyland resort. This will connect the land around Asia and Expedition Everest all the way back to the old Conservation Station. Like the train? Go for a ride soon, that will disappear as walking to Rafiki’s Planet Watch will now be available.

My favorite piece of news is that Disney’s Hollywood Studio will get a whole land dedicated to the Star Wars universe. The center piece will be a new stunt show that replaces the Indiana Jones stunt show. Think Storm Troopers and the first three movies (not chronologically, but story wise). There will also be a new Star Wars Cantina themed eatery. Also look for some parking lots to be closed and new ones created as the main entrance will shift slightly to make way for phase two of Star Wars land.

Pixar Land is on the way too, but it depends on the success of Cars Land at California Adventure. If everything works, say good bye to the the Back lot tour and hello to Lightning McQueen.

Finally, the biggest announcement of all is that Adventurer’s Club will be returning to Downtown Disney. They weren’t able to make the old Pleasure Island area work with new tenants, so Disney is going to rush to fill in with the Comedy Club and Adventurer’s Club.

If this sounds like a dream come true, look at the calendar and tell me it is.

27 thoughts on “Reports from the Swamp”

  1. Heh. I see what you did there.

    I do find it pretty hilarious that this probably isn’t too far off from the truth: “Innoventions will stay, but the Odyssey building will go and a new pavilion will rise up as a dedicated HQ for EPCOT’s successful twice yearly festivals.”

  2. WI didn’t get it until the roller coaster. And then I remembered the tag about working on it’s for a year!!!! Very funny.

  3. Not funny, man. This came down at 11:00 PM for those of us on Central time.

    And I was so looking forward to the Turkish pavilion. :(

  4. Well, some of us are still in March, ahem, but (aside from the mass building replacement at EPCOT), there’s nothing here that seemed implausible or unreasonable, let alone Foolish.

    *sigh* Coming up on our first WDW visit sans “Adventurer’s Club,” thus removing any compelling reason for us to visit Downtown Disney.

  5. The DL Indiana Jones ride and a Star Wars themed area with a Mos Eisley cantina. I wish it wasn’t April 1st b/c that’d be awesome.

  6. Ha-ha-ha!!! I think once I read Turkey, I figured out where you were going. All in all though, there are a couple of good ideas, if you go on the premise that something’s better than nothing, right?

  7. Nice! I was getting real excited until about a couple paragraphs in I realized what day it is.

    I love how the ‘green’ EPCOT makeover tears down the existing buildings. What’s more green than throwing away 1,000’s of yards of demolition waste and using more new material to build the new ones. The funny thing is I work in an architecture firm where clients actually ask for that. The greenest thing to do is improve a structure that’s already there.

  8. Curse you John! I was so excited, and about to forword on to all my friends. I believed you until the LAST LINE!

    Well played sir, well played.

  9. MAN! I was so excited I called my husband (huge Ratatouille fan) and told him the fantastic news. Then I began thinking, “there are a lot of plans here, Disney never does this much at once”. Then it hit me!

    I thought I was finally going to hook my husband into buying DVC! lol

    Nice job!

  10. I’m glad you didn’t say they were changing the name back to EPCOT Center (or at least Epcot Center) because I still want to hold on that dream. It’s amazing that even though it’s been over 16 years since they dropped Center, how often the name Epcot Center is still used on TV shows and in newspaper articles. And bring back the original logo, too. Both the name and the logo are timeless!

  11. i’ll admit, i looked at this with skepticism and also with the fact I can’t believe so many changes would occur at WDW, along with fantasyland (from what i’ve heard from some people, it just didn’t make sense anyway)

    I’d say i would be happy to have some of these tho :)

    i got sucked in by one earlier, not so grandiose. try smaller next time, that makes more sense when making pranks about disney

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  13. very very cruel…i can’t believe i totally fell for that *sigh* I should have known it was all too good to be true lol! My hats off to you!

  14. Hook, line and sinker.

    Though it was cruel, a little, to make my heart jump for Adventurer’s Club, only to crush it. D:

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