Revenge – Season 1, Episode 9

Hi Revenge fans! Turkey and travel delayed my viewing of this week’s episode but I have come out of my food coma psyched to talk about another crazy Revenge adventure.

While we are about to jump into December, the people of the Hamptons are still scheming through the longest summer in existence, heavy on the drama.

If you remember from last week, Emily/Amanda/Kara has not cooperated with our Emily and left for Paris. Instead, she has permanently attached herself to Jack and he likes it. (I guess you can’t blame the guy since he’s getting nowhere with our Em but really? Ugh.) Nolan spots her in town (on the Amanda boat) and immediately alerts our Emily.

Emily puts on her sweet voice and tries to get through to Kara. You. Cannot. Stay. But Kara is not having it. She’s tired of running and people not knowing who she really is. Now that she is Kara, things could work out! “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you. You can’t stay,” Emily tells her sternly. Looks like their little alliance is not as strong as our Em once thought; Kara doesn’t need Em’s permission to do anything. She is staying.

Conrad decides to spice things up between Tyler and Daniel, proposing some “friendly competition”. Whoever is able to score an investor at Conrad’s lunch the fastest (for a $20M deal) will keep the full commission (and obviously have a leg up). Tyler is just about drooling over this opportunity, while Daniel is in. After just a week (or two — I’m not sure about the time period since the last episode), he seems to be enjoying this job. Tyler, on the other hand, continues his wily ways. It seems he stole Nolan’s credit card to buy himself and Ashley some Hamptons-esque attire for the luncheon. This guy is just a piece of work.

In the meantime, the police stopped by Victoria’s with a search warrant. They find the phone that Emily planted. The main investigator knows that Victoria and Frank were close, and he wonders out loud if Conrad was a jealous person. (Is it horrible I love how they are zeroing in on Conrad?) Victoria gladly visits Conrad and lets him know the police are on his trail. Conrad is almost right. He believes the person who planted the phone is the same one who had a camera in Lydia’s place. Conrad threatens Victoria, saying she better get back on his side or everything she holds dear will be taken away from her. “I don’t respond well to threats”. And she leaves with a smile.

Victoria actually makes a lot of pit stops in this episode instead of keeping an eye out from the tallest tower of her mansion. She pays Emily a visit. “What is it about me that troubles you so much?” our Emily asks in her quiet, weirdly nice voice. Victoria calls it maternal instinct and immediately falls into a flashback. David Clark can’t find his laptop (remember, Victoria swiped it) and he embraces Victoria and tells her it is time that she gets to know Amanda better. Victoria is not ready because Daniel doesn’t know she is divorcing Conrad. She looks apprehensive like she knows her relationship with David won’t last much longer.

(I wonder: did Amanda and Daniel know each other as kids?)

My favorite part has to be when Emily tells Victoria she hopes they can overcome their differences because they may be family one day. I loved Victoria’s smile here. Later, our Emily convinces Daniel he should make up with his mom, that he can’t keep giving her so much power. (I liked this advice.)

Victoria also shows up at the Stowaway later. After seeing Charlotte’s text to Declan — “Tonight’s the night!” — she takes Charlotte’s keys and her phone and pays Declan a visit instead. He’s wearing a towel. She asks Declan how much he wants to stay away from Charlotte. “Everyone has a price.” Ugh. This lady is just out of her mind. Go ahead and ask the poor boy who wants to be rich about money. I have to say I had no idea what Declan would choose. Seems this couple is a little more exciting than we thought. Charlotte pretends that Declan broke up with her, and she goes to the Stowaway anyway. Seems Victoria paid $25K, instead of the $100K that Declan originally asked for. The couple laughs, Declan thinks he is going to get his own place by the water (renting I guess? But that doesn’t even seem that realistic), and seems they are about to go all the way anyway.

Now to the juicier stuff. Tyler shows up at Nolan’s house, and Nolan will not give in to his flirting or Tyler asking him to be his $20M investor. Instead he leaves Tyler in his house and video tapes him (just like he did with Emily earlier in the season). Later he sees that Tyler has pieced together Lydia’s speech — one that he and Emily had no idea about — and was googling David Clark on his laptop. Nolan calls Emily who wants him to invest in Tyler just to keep an eye on him.

Emily calls someone labeled X in her phone. She needs help.

At the luncheon, Daniel is talking with a Japanese businessman about Tokyo Disneyland. Fail. Our Emily, of course, can speak Japanese and the businessman is more taken with her than he is with Daniel. They step away from the crowd and it seems he is the secret X Emily called. I have no idea how they know each other but he knows of Emily’s mission too. He spots Victoria and says: “Inside the viper’s nest, you must be a viper too.”

Meanwhile, Nolan shows up at the party and agrees to invest with Tyler. But he wants to negotiate in private. Nolan is not going to give up $20 million without a few conditions, like no more lying and stealing. Tyler crosses his heart. We know he means it this time. (Yeah right.) Nolan and Tyler kiss, and shock of all shocks, Ashley walks in. Tyler chases her down and doesn’t seem distressed about what just transpired. Instead he insults her willingness to be Victoria’s lap dog and urges her to “get in the game” already! (In all the chaos, Nolan manages to steal back Lydia’s pieced together speech from Tyler’s bag.)

Victoria also apologizes for Daniel who somewhat accepts it but won’t move back home. Conrad helps move Lydia out of Victoria’s “care” because she feels like a prisoner and Victoria is left in the house all alone. Except for Ashley who finally steps up and asks Victoria why she hired her. “You are the best at what you do, because you are close with Emily.” Ashley calls Emily tricky and Victoria is intrigued. The two plan a brunch for the next morning.

I’m not talking a lot about Jack and Kara. They make out on a boat. I don’t want to get into it. But unfortunately, Kara gives me no choice because she tells Jack that she is actually Amanda. “I wanted to come home, Jack.” AND JACK BELIEVES HER. I mean, she looks NOTHING like Emily/the real Amanda but he is overcome with happiness. But whatever.

It’s gets even better when Jack shows up on Emily’s porch. Reminding her about that girl he told her about, how she is back and he told her she could trust Emily. Kara walks slowly up the porch from the other side and our Emily looks… shocked. But she shakes her hand. Jack wants “Amanda” to see her dad’s old swing. He is practically beaming. And the show has suddenly taken a different turn…

This is probably the craziest episode set because our Emily sees just how little she can control all of her plans. I don’t think she ever expected her old friend Kara to pull something like this. Instead Kara has taken everything about the life she learned to help Emily and used it against her. Taking possession of Emily’s dear Jack – that’s just low. I’m sure after Emily recovers from all of this, she will come up with the perfect way of getting rid of Kara. And does anyone else feel terrible for these innocent guys who are being jerked into these horrible situations without knowing it?

Looks like we have a week or so to recover. The next new episode of Revenge will be on December 7th at 10pm.

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Revenge airs on ABC at 10pm on Wednesday evenings. Not caught up? Watch the episode online at ABC.com.