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Dancing with the Stars: Guilty as Charged

Last night was Guilty Pleasures Week, and there wasn’t too much to be embarrassed about. All our stars turned in respectable performances, nothing horrific happened, which means tonight’s cut will be all the more devastating.

Tonight’s results show was preceded by a one hour show about nothing. Hanson performed (is Hanson cool again? I’m not sure I’m ready for that). Past stars came back to share their thoughts on this year’s competition … including Drew Lachey, Ghost of the Ballroom.

But the results show got off to a boy bandin’ start with a performance from NKOTBSB, which stands for New Kids on the Block/Backstreet Boys. It was a lot of former heartthrobs in one place. The song was …. actually, I don’t remember. And I write these recaps as I watch the episode. It was that forgettable.

The first round of results was a no-brainer – Romeo/Chelsie and Chelsea/Mark were both safe. Kendra and Louis were asked to do the encore, but she didn’t have as much energy as she did in last night’s sizzling performance.

More results: Hines/Kym and Kirstie/Maks were safe, meaning the four highest-scoring couples were all coming back next week.

Tonight’s first montage was about what it’s like be in the DWTS Troupe. Because I refuse to acknowledge the Troupe’s existence on account of them being nothing more than this show’s version of Barker’s Beauties, this montage didn’t happen. The Macy’s Stars of Dance performance, however, was adorable – telling the love story of a couple, from a childhood crush through a lifetime of marriage.

NKOTBSB came back to sing a mash-up of “Step by Step” and “I Want It That Way,” and then every late twentysomething/early thirtysomething who was watching hung their heads in shame before surrendering to the glittery memories, remembering those days of doodling these guys’ names into Lisa Frank binders. The time, it flies.

American Idol’s luckiest loser Pia Toscano was also on hand to sing “I’ll Stand By You” for the umpteenth time while Mark Ballas performed. Guys, they’re totally not dating. Nope. No way. Although if they were dating, it’s a pretty sweet way to get an audience of a couple million people without having to put out a single. But they’re not dating, so ….

A final round of results: Kendra/Louis were safe, as were Ralph/Karina … meaning Chris and Cheryl were out. It just goes to show – at this point in the competition, you can’t have a bad night. You can’t give a mediocre performance. I think we’ve all learned an important lesson here.

Next week ups the ante: each couple must perform TWO dances. Double the fun!

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2 thoughts on “Dancing with the Stars: Guilty as Charged”

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  2. I found Pia’s response to Tom’s round about query about her dating status funny. It really reminded me of those times where a guy was really into a girl, maybe more than she was into him and people were going around saying they were an item. But, she really isn’t that into him…..”He’s a really nice guy” I think her response was….haha

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