Dancing with the Stars: Week 3 Performances

After last week’s drama-filled episode – Boogate 2010! Doggy dancing! A three! – I was wondering what nonsense could possibly top it this week. Turns out, it was Story Night. The challenge should be self explanatory, but there was one twist – props. The couples can use props. Hold onto your sparkles, dance fans!

But before we could even get to this week’s competition, we had to sit through a routine from our professionals demonstrating what it means to tell a story. You know, because people watching this show have never watched or read anything ever before. So that was helpful. Seriously producers, save these routines for the results shows. I wanna see some people dance for the trophy!

Jennifer and Derek – Samba – Going with the classic “Hot for Teacher” story (didn’t Kyle and Lacey do that already this season?), and dancing to a song that will always belong to Joey Fatone and Kym Johnson (Yes, I remember their “Give a Little Respect” routine. Yes, I’m a dork), Jennifer and Derek delivered a solid opening number that was marred by the two most dreaded words in ballroom dancing: fringe pants. Seriously, what sexy teacher wears fringe pants? Len declared her an irresistible force, Bruno called her the Sexy Mistress of Cougartown’s Academy of Samba (a compliment), and Carrie Ann said they were out of sync at times. Scores: 8-8-8.

Florence and Corky – Waltz – Florence and Corky went for something a little more personal and danced a romantic, Sound of Music-inspired waltz, which was also a tribute to her late husband. At times, it seemed like Florence got so caught up in the dancing she forgot some of the steps, but the overall effect was perfectly lovely. Bruno called the routine simple and effective, Carrie Ann said her performance was on another level, and Len called it poignant and sweet. Scores: 7-6-7.

Kurt and Anna – Foxtrot – The story behind this dance was, “Anna is having a bad day. Let us dance about it. To the song “Bad Day.” Because she was having one, and now she isn’t anymore.” Kurt gets a little better, and a little more charming each week. Is he a great dancer? No. But Anna is doing a good job teaching him, and I think we’ll see him continue to grow over the next few weeks. Carrie Ann said he was sooooooo charming, Len said he needs to work on his arms, and Bruno made a bunch of flailing motions which translates to “fix your arms.” Scores: 8-8-7.

Margaret and Louis – Samba: Let’s just get this out of the way – Louis is dressed like Rainbow Brite. At first, Margaret looked like she was having tons of fun and I was onboard with these two … and then she fell apart midway through. The painful faces came back, she forgot the choreography, just … eesh. Len said she lost her timing and there wasn’t any story, Bruno said it looked like she had too many drinks at the Copa, and Carrie Ann said she lost control. Scores: 6-6-6.

Audrina and Tony – Waltz: It would appear that the producers have made amends with Tony after saddling him with Kate Gosselin last season. Because, yo – Audrina can dance. This was a beautiful, clean routine that was a pleasure to watch. We’ve got a contender in the house! Bruno called it compelling and touching storytelling, Carrie Ann said Audrina needs to point her toes, and Len called it the most touching dance of the night. Scores: 8-9-9.

Bristol and Mark – Foxtrot: The story here was a little bizarre – homeless man dances with passerby – but I continue to be amazed at what a great teacher Mark is. Bristol has been improving steadily from week to week, and this was another solid performance from her. Carrie Ann said her movement was beautiful but her performance wasn’t on par, Len said the dance was too contemporary, and Bruno said her execution was neat but her acting needs work. Scores: 6-6-7.

Brandy and Maks – Samba: Oh Brandy, is it time for you to go home yet? I am so sick of hearing about how awesome you think you are. This week, they tried to convince the audience that no really, they like each other. Really, it was the editing that was making them look bad. Mmhmm. Her dancing was fine, she just looks awkward sometimes. Her arms are her biggest problem – besides her attitude, of course. Len said he didn’t get the story, Bruno said he was seeing a comeback, and Carrie Ann said she was on fire. Scores: 8-8-8.

Kyle and Lacey – Waltz: Their story was a Meet Cute, which was appropriate, seeing as these two are so adorable it makes puppies jealous. It was a brilliant concept with a brilliant song (and kudos to Lacey for ditching The Eagles for something more contemporary), and it all melted together for an irresistible routine. These two are my favorite couple, by a mile. Bruno said Kyle still needs to work on his feet, Carrie Ann said he dances out through his fingertips, and Len said his footwork is atrocious. Scores: 8-7-8.

The Situation and Karina – Foxtrot: Their story was “Time Machine,” which, in its own demented way, makes perfect sense. The rehearsal footage was particularly illuminating – in between trying to flirt with Karina, The Situation appears to actually be working really hard at trying to get the steps down. Spaceship and smoke machine and shiny clothes aside, this was a hot mess. The Situation, for all his practice time in Karma, is crazy stiff on the dance floor. It’s like he’s concentrating so hard he’s getting in his own way. Still, he continues to improve. Carrie Ann said he was baby-stepping his way to becoming a dancer, Len said if that dance was the future he’s glad he lives in the past, and Bruno called it “sometimes apocalyptic” but still entertaining. Scores: 7-6-7.

Rick and Cheryl – Samba: The story was paper-thin (Girl Dances with Man at Bar), and Rick should really keep his shirt on, but this samba really captured the spirit of the dance. It wasn’t great dancing, but it was entertaining. Len said Rick brought up his game, Bruno said he wanted to see more, and Carrie Ann said he was right on the music. Scores: 8-8-8.

Tomorrow night the ballroom will claim another victim. Shout out your predictions in the comments below!