New Attraction for Walt Disney World Resort

The Onion has details on a new attraction at Walt Disney World Resort that simulates the Disney-ABC merger.

"This ride has been 12 years in the making," Disney CEO Bob Iger said. "Now you can experience for yourself the heart-stopping suspense when [former Disney chief] Michael Eisner tries to convince the board of directors to diversify its holdings and become the world’s largest entertainment conglomerate."

Described in a Disney press release as "It’s A Small World and Space Mountain meets Barbarians At The Gate," the Whirly Merge transports its riders, who are strapped in plush leather chairs to "boardroom tables," through a series of fast-paced and intricate business meetings, all leading to the climactic acquisition stage.