James Lileks has been writing his often humorous ‘Bleats’ on his website for over a decade now. He’s also an accomplished author in the real world. Lileks recently took his family to the House of Mouse here in Orlando and has focused his witty observations on Disney’s Cinderella offerings. Part one is up now and I’m already sore from laughing.
It’s clean. It’s so clean and perfect you wonder why everything doesn’t look like this. But why is it clean? You see no one picking things up. Maybe the very fact that it’s spotless and pristine makes people hesitate to ruin the perfection. Then again, you placed a small piece of paper on the ground and walked away a few yards, just to see what happened. It vanished in a puff of smoke. So you’re thinking some sort of micro-targeted laser, probably from an orbital platform.
Again: why isn’t everything else so clean? Why can’t we have cities that look like this, and theme parks full of urban grot for the people who want that authentic experience that graffiti-slathered-metal-shutters represent? You’re tempted to stay up all night to watch the robots come out at 3 AM to touch the place up – a lick of paint, new mulch, bulb replacement. It could be that the entire operation exists to fund a noturnal robot testing ground. The day it shuts down, you know the invasion begins.