Dancing with the Stars: Week 7 Performances!

Hang on, everybody – it’s Team Dance Night. This week, in addition to their individual routines, the couples will team up for “the cha-cha-challenge,” which is a fancy way of saying “team dance.” With only six couples left, the pressure is on. Who will rise to the challenge and who will cha-cha-cha-choke?

Erin and Maks – Quickstep: Last week, Len slapped these guys for mid-dance nudity. This week, Maks thought it would be a good idea to rip his pants off. Erin wisely advised against this, Maks threw a tantrum … in the end, the whole thing was a non-issue. The “stripping” turned out to be more “costume quick change magic” than anything else. Perhaps distracted by Maks taking his pants off, Erin forgot the routine within the first two steps. She quickly regained her footing and turned in a “proper quickstep” – and a well executed one too! Len said it was her best dance, Bruno said it was brilliant, and Carrie Ann said it was gorgeous. Scores: 9-9-9.

Chad and Cheryl – Viennese Waltz: Chad is shooting for 10s this week, which seems ambitious. Tony joined them in rehearsals, and all that male bonding seems to have paid off … sort of. Chad is still having problems with his upper body and doesn’t always look comfortable in the routine. But enough about the dancing – can we pause and acknowledge that Chad was wearing an old lady shirt? Bruno called him a gentle giant, Carrie Ann called him sexy, tender, and graceful, and Len said Chad just became a contender. Scores: 8-9-8. 

Nicole and Derek – Viennese Waltz: Nicole and Derek are the world’s prettiest prom couple. And although Nicole’s hands still look awkward sometimes, this was a beautiful, graceful, romantic waltz. The choreography was incredibly difficult, but she pulled it off and the whole routine was amazing.  Carrie Ann said she was the best dancer in the history of Dancing with the Stars (that seems extreme), Len loved it, and Bruno called her dancing royalty. Scores: 9-9-9.

 Pamela and Damien – Waltz: Pam’s been teetering on the brink of almost going home for a few weeks now, and I don’t think this dance did her any favors. It wasn’t a bad performance and she danced it well enough, but it was just a snore. And the fact that she was made to follow Nicole’s dance isn’t helping. Len said it was a quiet, understated waltz, Bruno said she was cute and demure, and Carrie Ann said her legs had improved. Scores: 8-8-8.

Niecy and Louis – Quickstep: Louis was texting Kelly Osbourne during rehearsals – come back Kelly! We miss you! As for Niecy, I think she’s destined for the bottom two this week along with Pam. Again, there was nothing wrong with this routine – I actually thought it was one of Niecy’s best  performances, but when you put her against the Erins, Nicoles, and Evans, she’s out of her league. Bruno said it was her best dance, Carrie Ann agreed, and Len made it three for three – Niecy’s best dance. Scores: 9-8-8.

Evan and Anna – Argentine Tango: Evan really beat himself up over last week’s disappointing scores, and these guys came out swinging this week. This dance was everything an Argentine Tango should be – sexy, sultry, dramatic. It was perfection. My favorite dance of the season so far, and the only time this season when I’ve rewound the DVR to watch a dance twice. Brilliant. Carrie Ann said it was sexy and refined, Len said it was fantastic, and Bruno said he danced like a true alpha male. Scores: 10-10-10. First perfect score of the season! Can I get an amen?!

Team dance time! And apparently the DWTS producers have been watching too much Glee, because …

Team Gaga – Nicole/Derek, Pamela/Damien, Chad/Cheryl: Team Gaga opened with a questionable robot move, and almost immediately, Chad and Cheryl fell out of sync. Pam’s solo was pretty lame – she looked like a busted Barbie doll at times. Chad fared much better, and Nicole was totally in her comfort zone here, so she predictably rocked it. The closing group piece was also a little out of sync, but overall it was a solid effort. Len said he can’t wait to see Nicole do a cha cha as her regular routine, Bruno said Pam did a good job keeping up with Cheryl and Nicole, and Carrie Ann praised the group’s energy. Scores: 9-9-9.

Team Madonna – Evan/Anna, Niecy/Louis, Erin/Maks: For one thing, Team Madonna appeared to be having a lot more fun in rehearsals. They were not so good at being in sync, but all three solos were solid. I think Team Madonna was at a disadvantage because the music/costumes forced them to go for “campy” rather than “knockout.” But still, this was a lot of fun. Bruno said it was like being in Brazil, Carrie Ann said it was nice to see them all having so much fun, and Len said they did a fantastic job. Scores: 8-8-8.

Alrighty, sports fans – who’s going home? If I was a betting person, I would say Pamela and Niecy will be in the bottom two, with Pam leaving us tomorrow.

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