Dancing with the Stars: Week 5 Results!

Last night was Movie Night, and tonight, it’s curtains for one of our stars. Things got started right away as Tom ominously called Nicole and Derek and Kate and Tony forward. Nicole and Derek were pronounced safe (duh), and then – FINALLY – Kate and Tony landed in the bottom two. Could it be? Is it she? Sacre-bleu! Kate might actually go home tonight.

Because everyone loves a good dose of public humiliation and pantslessness, Jake and Chelsie were given the encore this week. Realistically, it’s the only time they’ll ever be in this position, so I suppose it’s fine.

Maxwell, recently famous for having his songs butchered by Michael Lynche over on American Idol, was the musical guest his week. His first song, “Fistful of Tears,” was accompanied by a rumba performed by two dancers I haven’t seen on the show. Perhaps they are auditioning to be next season’s pros?

More results – Chad and Cheryl are in danger (not the same as the bottom two), and Niecy and Louis are safe. Then, Adam Carrolla was back for some mid-season analysis. This segment was mostly a mini-roast of last night’s contestants, not particularly funny. Less filler, more dancing please! Or at least bring back Kenny Mayne.

Yay! Debbie Allen is in the house! Now THIS was how you do a dance tribute to the movies. Is it just me, or are the Macy’s Stars of Dance segments a million times better this year?

Debbie Nova, who I am not familiar with, was the second musical guest of the evening, performing her new single “Drummer Boy.” Pa rum pum pum bored. She is like Shakira, minus the accent. She was flanked by Tony, Damian, Dmitry, and Derek shaking their best pa rum pum pums. Meh.

Next week, the stars get to pick the costumes. And we all know what that means – someone will be wearing fringe pants (please be Maks). Some stars are taking this seriously, others are using this as an opportunity to get revenge on their partners. I’m very excited for next week’s fashion show. 

Back to the results: Evan and Anna were quickly pronounced safe, while Jake and Chelsie were left to sweat it out in purgatory. Erin and Maks were also safe (yay!) while Pamela and Damian were still in limbo. The other couple in the bottom two? Pamela and Damian. Sigh.

And then, for the first time all season, logic prevailed and Kate was sent home. You read that right. Kate. Was. Sent. Home. Kate wept for all the days she must wait before she has another reality show, while Tony did backflips and burst into a duet of “I Dreamed a Dream” with Susan Boyle as confetti rained down from the heavens. We did it, America. We did it. *collapses*

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