Dancing with the Stars: Week Eight Results

After a night of dancing that included Ziggy Stardust, a rag doll, and one terrifying dance from Donny Osmond, it’s time to find out who made the final four. But before that can happen, we have an hour of results show to get through:

Joanna and Derek, clearly the producers’ favorite, are given the encore performance even though Mya and Dmitry scored a perfect 30 last night. And so, we relived everyone’s favorite decade, The Future. The Future is less styled tonight, presumably because The Future has other things to do later.

Here are the current standings:

4th place – Aaron and Karina & Donny and Kym (50)

3rd place – Kelly and Louis (51)

2nd place – Joanna and Derek (52)

1st place – Mya and Dmitry (59)

Come on. And they really couldn’t have the encore? Kicking off the eliminations, Joanna and Derek were quickly sent to safety.

Michael Buble is on deck to set the mood and be wonderful. I love the new single, I love him, this was probably my favorite musical performance all season. Backstage, Joanna says her secret to the semifinals is to “eat more food.” Uh, if you say so. More importantly, Mya and Dmitry are safe! I am so excited to see them rock the semifinals next week. And you know they’re gonna rock it.

In other news, America went crazy and decided that out of a cornucopia of past DWTS celebs, Cheetah Girl Sabrina Bryan was the one who should be brought back to dance again. Really, America? Sabrina Bryan over Mel B? In this “Design-a-Dance” extravaganza, we’ll get to see what dance, costume, and song selection viewers picked for her.  She was selected to dance a paso doble to “Eye of the Tiger” dressed as Chester Cheeto. Guys, it’s the Rocky soundtrack. Stop taking things so literally.

Then Michael Buble came back to bring some much-needed class to the ballroom, and he went ahead and did “Feelin’ Good,” my favorite Buble tune, and then I got all starry-eyed and mesmerized by the fact that Dolph Lundgren has a doppelganger and he’s a professional ballroom dancer. Who was that couple? If you know, shout it out in the comments.

Besides me and Buble, Donny and Kym are feelin’ good, because they’re safe, leaving Aaron/Karina and Kelly/Louis in the bottom two.

As if Buble wasn’t enough, YouTube star and angel Susan Boyle took the stage to belt out her famous “I Dreamed a Dream.” Oh SuBo, I watched you sing that song a zillion times (yes, I’m one of those people), and you still give me chills every. single. time.

And get ready to giggle, because DanceCenter is back! Of all the results show time-fillers, DanceCenter is by far my favorite. Notable quotes:

“Polish girls are hot.” – Len Goodman (re: Joanna)

“How old is this guy anyway? He acts like he’s three years old on sugar.” – Kenny Mayne (re: Donny)

“It’s a stupid TV show about dancing, what are you crying about it for?” – Kenny Mayne (re: Aaron, duh)

“You’ve got the hair of a hooligan, you’ve got the attitude of a hooligan” – Len Goodman (re: Kenny)

Noteworthy: Donny and Bruno have a “platonic celebrity slash judge relationship.” Interpret that as you will.

Finally, it’s game time. The lights came down, the scary music came on, and Aaron Carter was sent packing. It’s not surprising, but it does make for an interesting top four: Donny Osmond, Joanna Krupa, Kelly Osbourne, and Mya. Next week it’s four couples, three routines each, and a whole buncha dancing. Squee!

When she’s not crooning along to Michael Buble, The Disney Chick can be found at www.thedisneychick.com.