Last night, all danced thrice. Tonight, three will remain. Who does America like the least? Let’s find out, after 55 minutes of filler, on … Dancing with the Stars!

The encore dance is, unsurprisingly, Mya & Dmitry doing their Salsa. It earned a perfect 30, and we once again get to see why. I always secretly hope someone falls down during the encore dance, but my secret hopes are always dashed. They’re just as awesome, and get a huge standing ovation.

It’s time for recaps of last night. We find out that Kelly’s Rumba solo was almost completely improvised because she forgot her choreography, and they were concerned about top-poppage in her yellow dress. Joanna savored comments from the judges. Donny suffered Dressgate 2009, but came back with two great dances. Mya slaughtered all three dances and got Len to remark not once, but TWICE about her posterior.

Who’s going home? Find out after the cut, and 50 more minutes of filler. [Read more →]

It’s hard to believe that 9 weeks ago we had to sit through sixteen celebrities. And yet, here we are at the final four. Donny Osmond, Kelly Osbourne, Mya, and Joanna Krupa are in the home stretch, fighting through the last couple of weeks, battling for that hideous mirror ball trophy. Let’s roll, Dancing with the Stars!

Once more down the staircase, and once again, Trumpet Guy goes totally insane. The stage looks practically empty with our remaining four couples lined up. Tonight everyone will perform three full routines: two fresh dances, one of which will have a 15-second solo, and the knockout dance they’ve been working on for weeks.

Donny & Kym – Tango – Kym brings Gilles Marini into rehearsal — he got tens in his Tango last season. His big advice is apparently to make the audience uncomfortable by the end. Um, what? Donny makes Kym uncomfortable during rehearsal, then reiterates that he wants to make everyone uncomfortable. With his passion, I guess? This is the weirdest thing. I tell you what, Kym’s dress is what’s making me uncomfortable. How painful is that, having your lady lumps squashed and mashed like that! Donny’s wearing a gold lamé jacket and black gloves, dancing to a song I’m guessing is called “Black and Gold” (due to the repetition of the words “black and gold” throughout). Their Tango is decent, don’t get me wrong. But it looks like there are a few stumbles, and they’re not in close enough contact, and it’s overall just not that exciting. Nor do I feel uncomfortable. Plus Kym has what looks like a torn bit of dress hanging down. After the dance, Donny sits on the floor and covers his face, then raises his fists and growls at the heavens. Len says it wasn’t as good as the Argentine Tango recently, and Donny blames it on seeing Marie in the crowd. Bruno is sad that Donny didn’t cover up his mistakes as well as usual. Carrie Ann missed the drama and the light and shade, but gives him props for finishing. We get to see the torn dress backstage, and Donny kicks himself some more. Scores: 7-7-7 for a chicken dinner.

Joanna & Derek -Viennese Waltz – In rehearsal, Derek gets frustrated like crazy. So Brooke Burke comes in to teach Joanna how to deal with his punky attitude. Then Brooke and Joanna share a cheek-kiss, to which Derek gets all eyebrow-raisy. Okay, NOW I’m uncomfortable. Their dance gets the extra-special set pieces of long, flowing curtains. They’re dancing to Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah”, which just makes me think of that adorable dreadlocked Jason Castro on American Idol. (Clearly, I watch far too much reality TV.) They start with a couple of nice spin tricks, although at one point Joanna’s feet look like a couple of delicate blocks of wood. The waltzing itself is decent, but a couple of times she shuffles her feet and it isn’t terribly elegant. They get a big standing ovation from the audience. Bruno says the dance had the grace of angels in heaven, but then calls out her hesitation. Carrie Ann loves how Joanna has grown, gives the dance love, but then tells her to work on the reaching. Len compliments her hold and posture, as well as the choreography, but calls out a couple of “peculiar” moments. Scores: 9-9-9 for 27.

Kelly & Louis – Rumba – Before rehearsals start, Kelly learns that one of the tiny cute puffball dogs she was looking after passed away. So she’s weepy, but still plugs along. She’s quiet and concentrating and working hard, and in a way it feels wrong. I’m used to the flighty, bubbly Kelly. The dance starts out really well, if you put aside the fact that Louis is kind of a weird lecherous leathery guy and Kelly’s so young and they’re dancing the super-romantic dance of romance. Since this is their Latin dance, Kelly has to do a 15-second solo. It’s not terrible, but it’s not that fabulous either; I think she got a tough style for a solo, since there isn’t a lot of the typical Latin dance bootyshaking or showboating in the Rumba. Louis comes back, and the dance ends with a fabulous difficult-looking move. Sharon Osbourne is applauding like mad, and the crowd is back on its feet. Carrie Ann tells Kelly she has a magical quality that reaches into her heart and brings her to tears. Len won’t be as “airy-fairy” as Carrie Ann, then says this wasn’t one of her best, but it certainly wasn’t her worst. Bruno wants to see a relentless sense of eroticism in the Rumba, which he didn’t get from this dance (good, says I), but commends the poses and figures. Scores: 8-8-8 for 24.

Mya & Dmitry – Waltz – They make up “boot camp” rules for rehearsals. They’ve also set up a tent in the rehearsal studio, to make us believe they’re sleeping there in order to squeeze in as much dance time as possible. Riiiight. They start their Waltz with Mya held in Dmitry’s arms, then proceed to tear up the dance floor, Waltz style. It’s a great dance, full of smooth loveliness, until the last few seconds when it looks like Mya’s toe comes off the floor during a lift (although her skirts are hiding her feet), and they have a tiny hiccup getting unwound from each other. Of course, they get a standing O (Will every dance get one?) for their effort. Len loves it for romance, elegance, movement, and control. Bruno calls it “love set to music” and absolutely loved it. Carrie Ann says she enjoyed it, but thought they were slightly not connected in the hold. No word about the maybe-lift. Scores: 9-9-10 for 28, although Bruno’s tie covers the 0 and it looks for a moment like he gives her an 11. Or a 1.

Donny & Kym – Samba – The second round will have, instead of rehearsal footage, little packages about how the stars became stars. We see Donny through his time with the Osmonds, then the Donny & Marie show, and then there’s awesome interview footage of Stevie Wonder in front of Sleeping Beauty Castle at Disneyland. Also, the two of Donny’s sons who are interviewed don’t look like brothers. At all. For their dance, they’re both slathered in sparkles. It’s maybe a little slow for the Samba, and it has its tiny problems, but Donny seems to be having a lot more fun than in his previous dance. His solo is all right, and after they’re done, he’s much happier. Bruno calls it effortless, carefree, and fun. Carrie Ann felt it was better than the other dance, but it felt a little sloppy and small. Len agrees with Bruno. Scores: 8-9-9 for 26.

Joanna & Derek – Cha Cha Cha – Joanna was born in Poland, and moved to Chicago at age 5. Her mother busted rear to raise her girls. Joanna moved to Los Angeles at age 20 to become a model. Also, she has a super-hunky fiancé. And Hugh Hefner has great things to say about her — did you know she’s going to be the December cover girl on Playboy? Neither did I. She starts the dance with her solo, up on the band stage shaking her fringe trousers. She joins up with Derek, and they proceed to Cha. Her legs and hips are moving well, but there’s something weird about her arms. They seem oddly stiff, and she’s not fully extending when she should. For the last few bars of the song, she mouths the words, which is extra weird. Carrie Ann loves how Joanna can go from elegant to wild. Len wants it to be a little bit more cheeky, but calls it lovely. Bruno tells her she’s “natural sex”. Scores: 9-9-9 for 27 (again).

Kelly & Louis – Quick Step – Kelly grew up in England, where a teacher refers to her as “very polite, but she always spoke her mind.” She spent time touring with Ozzy as a kid and learned to be resilient, but the 2000 MTV reality show (and the negative reactions to her) drove her to drugs. But now she’s on her way up and out, and Sharon and Ozzy couldn’t be prouder. They’re dancing to “99 Red Balloons”, which delights me. She looks so much more fit than when she started the show, especially in this dress. There are some timing problems between them, and a little flub at the end, but overall it’s a good dance. My biggest problem is that she only has two facial expressions: concentrating really hard, and grinning like a goofball. Another standing O, and it’s over to the judges. Len says there are two people he knows are happy: Kelly’s mum, and himself. The dance was totally beyond his expectations. Bruno compares her to Speedy Gonzales, and calls her a twinkling, twinkling star. Carrie Ann cheers Kelly, and calls the dance amazing and fabulous. Kelly, in tears, thanks the judges for all of their help. Man, she seems like a nice kid. Scores: 9-9-9 for 27, her highest score ever.

Mya & Dmitry – Salsa – She was born and raised in the Washington, D.C. area. She was a tap dancer all through school, but wasn’t confident enough to sing for her parents until she was a teen. She had her first big single right when her parents were getting divorced and her mom got cancer. Wowsers, that’s a mixed bag of emotion. Their Salsa begins with the tiniest bit of theatrics — she unbuttons his jacket, under which he’s wearing no shirt. They’re shaking and shimmying to a sped-up version of “La Isla Bonita”, and her solo is jam-packed with excellent bootyshaking. Do I smell tens? Bruno stands up and shouts SEN-SA-TION-AL at them. Carrie Ann calls the solo amazing and difficult and amazing. Len channels crazy inappropriate Bruno, first saying “tutti frutti, what a booty,” then moving on to “I was mesmerized by your buttocks.” Scores: 10-10-10 for her second perfect score.

The third dance of the night will be the knockout dance that all couples prepared in case they had to dance for their lives on the double-elimination nights. We get a package of them all building and rehearsing their dances — they were allowed to choose their own styles and music. These will be the same short length as we saw during the dance-offs in previous weeks. Off we go!

Donny & Kym – Jitterbug – Finally, we get to see these sparkly green costumes in action. The dance is packed with energy, and showy as heck, but as usual with Donny, there are little errors here and there, and a few problems with staying in synch with Kym. But overall, it’s a fun routine. Carrie Ann tells him he needed this dance to be good … and it was! Len calls the dance another winner. Bruno agrees, calling it upbeat and full of vigor. Scores: 9-9-9 for 27, giving them a total of 74 out of 90 for the night.

Joanna & Derek – Salsa – Ooh, right after Mya gets a perfect 30 for a Salsa. Tough stuff. She’s either wearing a lower heel, or dancing kind of flat-footed. But she can really shimmy and shake, and they get some good moves in their short dance. Len compares these routines to little hors d’oeuvres, and calls this one hot, tasty, and full of spice. Bruno chimes in, calling the dance delicious and flirtatious, then blows kisses. Carrie Ann calls it excellent, and says she’d love to see Joanna in the finals. Scores: 9-9-9 for 27, giving them a total of 81 out of 90 for the night (although it sounds like Samantha says their score is 71).

Kelly & Louis – Cha Cha Cha – They’re dancing to “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”, and it’s cute and light, but doesn’t seem all that difficult. And it feels shorter than the other knockout dances so far. But there’s no stumbling and no missed steps, so that’s good. Bruno gets his creepiness back, declaring: “It might have been a quickie, but it worked for me.” Then he compliments her precision and timing. Carrie Ann compliments how she completed her hand movements every time. Len says she did all three dances to a very high level. Scores: 9-9-9 for 27, giving them a total of 78 out of 90 for the night.

Mya & Dmitry – Cha Cha Cha – Another really short one, danced to that song about a fire burning on the dance floor. But the dance doesn’t really set me on fire — I’ve seen much better out of these two. I don’t know what it is. There’s plenty of bootyshaking, some nice moves … I’m just not amazed. Carrie Ann loves the hip action and the tricks, but something didn’t do it for her. Len starts by telling Bergeron how he hates Bruno yelling in his ear. Then he says he was disappointed … that it wasn’t a longer dance. Bruno leans forward and shouts something about it being an action-packed feature. Scores: 9-10-10 for 29, giving them a total of 87 out of 90 for the night. That’s impressive.

Tomorrow: Alicia Keys! Leona Lewis! The two remaining Bee Gees! Oh, and an elimination. We’re getting into the time of the competition where viewer votes can really have a huge impact — both Mya and Joanna have been doing so well with the judges, we don’t really know how the viewers have been voting. What with Donny and Kelly being so popular, it’s anybody’s guess as to who’s going home tomorrow. All I know is, I’ll be there. With bells on!

Missy usually leaves her bells over at themissy.com.

After a night of dancing that included Ziggy Stardust, a rag doll, and one terrifying dance from Donny Osmond, it’s time to find out who made the final four. But before that can happen, we have an hour of results show to get through:

Joanna and Derek, clearly the producers’ favorite, are given the encore performance even though Mya and Dmitry scored a perfect 30 last night. And so, we relived everyone’s favorite decade, The Future. The Future is less styled tonight, presumably because The Future has other things to do later.

Here are the current standings:

4th place – Aaron and Karina & Donny and Kym (50)

3rd place – Kelly and Louis (51)

2nd place – Joanna and Derek (52)

1st place – Mya and Dmitry (59)

Come on. And they really couldn’t have the encore? Kicking off the eliminations, Joanna and Derek were quickly sent to safety.

Michael Buble is on deck to set the mood and be wonderful. I love the new single, I love him, this was probably my favorite musical performance all season. Backstage, Joanna says her secret to the semifinals is to “eat more food.” Uh, if you say so. More importantly, Mya and Dmitry are safe! I am so excited to see them rock the semifinals next week. And you know they’re gonna rock it.

In other news, America went crazy and decided that out of a cornucopia of past DWTS celebs, Cheetah Girl Sabrina Bryan was the one who should be brought back to dance again. Really, America? Sabrina Bryan over Mel B? In this “Design-a-Dance” extravaganza, we’ll get to see what dance, costume, and song selection viewers picked for her.  She was selected to dance a paso doble to “Eye of the Tiger” dressed as Chester Cheeto. Guys, it’s the Rocky soundtrack. Stop taking things so literally.

Then Michael Buble came back to bring some much-needed class to the ballroom, and he went ahead and did “Feelin’ Good,” my favorite Buble tune, and then I got all starry-eyed and mesmerized by the fact that Dolph Lundgren has a doppelganger and he’s a professional ballroom dancer. Who was that couple? If you know, shout it out in the comments.

Besides me and Buble, Donny and Kym are feelin’ good, because they’re safe, leaving Aaron/Karina and Kelly/Louis in the bottom two.

As if Buble wasn’t enough, YouTube star and angel Susan Boyle took the stage to belt out her famous “I Dreamed a Dream.” Oh SuBo, I watched you sing that song a zillion times (yes, I’m one of those people), and you still give me chills every. single. time.

And get ready to giggle, because DanceCenter is back! Of all the results show time-fillers, DanceCenter is by far my favorite. Notable quotes:

“Polish girls are hot.” – Len Goodman (re: Joanna)

“How old is this guy anyway? He acts like he’s three years old on sugar.” – Kenny Mayne (re: Donny)

“It’s a stupid TV show about dancing, what are you crying about it for?” – Kenny Mayne (re: Aaron, duh)

“You’ve got the hair of a hooligan, you’ve got the attitude of a hooligan” – Len Goodman (re: Kenny)

Noteworthy: Donny and Bruno have a “platonic celebrity slash judge relationship.” Interpret that as you will.

Finally, it’s game time. The lights came down, the scary music came on, and Aaron Carter was sent packing. It’s not surprising, but it does make for an interesting top four: Donny Osmond, Joanna Krupa, Kelly Osbourne, and Mya. Next week it’s four couples, three routines each, and a whole buncha dancing. Squee!

When she’s not crooning along to Michael Buble, The Disney Chick can be found at www.thedisneychick.com.

Quarterfinals! It’s week eight and the pressure is, as they say, on like Donkey Kong. Five couples, two dances each. The Latin round involves “dancing through the decades.” I would say “bring it on,” but we’re all likely to get way more than we bargained for anyway.

Ballroom Round:

Mya and Dmitry Chaplin - Quickstep: Mya and Len have come to the conclusion that the judges are full of nonsense and they should continue doing they best they can to please the viewers. Wise. Mya’s dancing was, as usual, clean, classy, and seemingly critique-proof. But for the first time in eight weeks, Len liked their performance! His Grumpiness said he couldnt find anything wrong with it, Bruno compared their dance to fine champagne, and Carrie Ann said they were perfectly in sync. Scores: 9-10-10.

Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff - Foxtrot: Aaron claims he has never won anything in his life. Say what, pop star? What about all the tweenage hearts you’ve won over the years? Poor Karina has the flu, and they both rehearse with masks as though a face mask will prevent the spread of the ballroom plague. As if the flu wasn’t bad enough, Karina is made to wear sparkly pink goucho pants. The foxtrot tends to be more of a fun, old-Hollywood style dance, and this routine was a more contemporary version. For me, it was lacking in the pop! the foxtrot usually has. Bruno said Aaron’s dancing was tense, Carrie Ann called out a lift, and Len said he was proud but …. so that doesn’t bode well. Scores: 7-8-8.

Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough - Quickstep: Derek had the ballroom plague the last time Joanna had the quickstep. The producers have assigned Joanna and Mya the same dance, so instead of focusing on Joanna’s technique, they waste their rehearsal time watching Mya’s footage. Eyes on your own paper! Their routine started with what Len would term “messing about” and continued to be marked by Joanna’s sloppy arms and horrendous feet (It’s week eight – she should have learned to point her toes by now). I found this incredibly painful to watch, and thankfully Carrie Ann called her out for those feet, Len said it wasn’t up to quarterfinals standards, and Bruno said it wasn’t one of her best. Scores: 8-7-8.

Kelly Osbourne and Louis Van Amstel – Foxtrot: Kelly hasn’t had a ballroom dance since week one – how is that possible? And ohmigod Kelly’s dogs are so cute can I have them please? I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on rehearsals either, if I had all that adorableness in the room. And hey, when did Kelly get so good? This was an awesome routine for her and her personality really came out to shine. All of the judges praised her grace and charm but said she needed to work on her footwork. Scores: 8-8-9.

Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson – Viennese Waltz: No other couple is doing the Viennese Waltz tonight, so Donny doesn’t have to worry about besting anyone. This was a sweet, light, sophisticated waltz. Really, truly lovely, like the perfect wedding dance.  Bruno called him the ultimate entertainer, Carrie Ann said she was mesmerized, and Len said there was too much fluffy stuff. Scores: 9-8-9.

Latin Round: To show everyone how it’s done, out come the professionals … including a couple I don’t recognize. Could these guys be practicing for next season?

Mya and Dmitry Chaplin - Samba: In case Dmitry’s mustache didn’t tip you off, they were assigned the 70’s. Beep beep! Awesome samba time! This was fun, exciting, and appropriately cheesy – 70’s cheesy, not Ian Ziering cheesy. Carrie Ann said she now believes Mya is in it to win it, Len said she was on fire, and Bruno “sang” Ain’t No Mountain High Enough. Who’s going to the finals? Mya is! Scores: 10-10-10. First 30 of the season!

Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff - Samba: Aaron has the 90’s, which is appropriate, since that’s the last time he was famous. He attempts to teach Karina 90’s dancing (is there even such a thing?); Karina becomes confused. And guess what? Those moves look as lame now as they did in the 90’s. The samba parts in this routine were great, although Aaron is still going overboard with his arms. Len said they sold it, Bruno said his energy was put to good use, and Carrie Ann called him a great performer. Scores: 9-9-9.

Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough - Paso Doble: Is “the future” a decade? Let’s say no. Joanna and Derek have the 2000’s, and apparently I missed the part in this past decade where we looked like extras from The Fifth Element. In the future, Joanna’s legs are still a mess and Derek is a David Bowie Halloween costume. The choreography was very cool, but was it a paso doble? Meh. Bruno called it a masterful reinvention, Carrie Ann called out a stumble, and Len called it genius. I think the judges were overly dazzled by the great choreography and overlooked a lot of Joanna’s shortcomings. Scores: 9-10-10.

Kelly Osbourne and Louis Van Amstel - Jive: These guys have the 60’s, and they took a mod approach to the routine. Cuteness! Kelly needs to watch out for sometimes-flailing arms, but this was a fun, groovy, clean dance. The rag doll prop was a little weird (not that it was the first time there’s been doll-related weirdness on this show – *cough Marie Osmond cough*). Len called her a revelation, Bruno yelled “come back to daddy!” and Carrie Ann called it one of her best performances. Scores: 8-9-9.

Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson – Paso Doble: There were a couple of ways they could have taken their 80’s look – Sid & Nancy punk, Dirty Dancing romance, or Brat Pack adorable. In the end, Crazy 80’s won out. All that was missing from their costumes was a Flock of Seagulls hairdo for Donny. Remember that doll weirdness I just *cough* mentioned? It was like that, but with more smoke. And fake mutton chops. Len called it crazy, Bruno said it had more camp than something having to do with drag queens, and Carrie Ann called it over the edge and insane. Understatement. Scores: 8-8-8.

Big happenings tomorrow night – we find out which four couples are in the semifinals. I’m thinking tonight was Aaron’s last stand, assuming America isn’t too traumatized to vote for Donny. Plus: Susan Boyle is the musical guest! Be sure to check back here for the full recap.

When she’s not spinning right round baby right round, The Disney Chick can be found at www.thedisneychick.com.

Last night, the stars danced. Then they danced some more. Then Aaron had skeevy facial hair. Tonight, two couples will go home. It’s time for the Dancing with the Stars results show!

Right out of the gate, we get to see an encore of the dance from Team Tango. The band’s version of “You Give Love a Bad Name” is just as terrible as it was last night. Likewise, the team dance is just as fabulous as it was last night. From there, we go into the in-depth recap of last night’s dancing. Michael got good (for him) scores. Donny had the flu. Mark had three partners in one week. Mya still didn’t win over Len. Aaron was a Fury on warp drive. Kelly made Louis wear embarassing trousers, and also made Bruno do a desk dance. Joanna got comments from Bruno that made my husband, passing by the TV, cringe and say “ick”. Then the teams danced.

The results begin right after the jump!   [Read more →]

Last week: two couples went home! This week: two more couples will go home! Will Michael & Anna ever leave? Lacey is out with the flu! There’s more group dancing! Live, from Hollywood, it’s Dancing with the Stars!

The show opens with a group dance by the pros, showing us some real Paso vs. Tango teamwork. Of course, they’re all fabulous. ABC totally needs to use the overhead camera much more often. That thing is awesome! Then the stars come down the stairs, and it’s trumpet time. But this time there are TWO Trumpet Guys, doing some sort of dueling trumpets thing. I think my head just exploded a little. This week, the stars designed the costumes, so we’re warned in advance that they’ll be hideous. Noted, Bergeron.

Dancing, dancing, and more dancing after the jump! [Read more →]

After a wild performance show that including the first-ever competition-style mambo,  it’s time to find out which two couples will be heading home. Is it finally time for Michael to go? Does America still think Aaron is intolerable? Can audiences forgive Louie’s jilted jitterbug? Will I ever stop asking questions in threes like Tom Bergeron? Only time will tell.

Things got mixed up early on when the show opened with the musical guest Taylor Swift performing her new single. I’m not sure who the couple was that danced during her performance, but apparently they didn’t get the memo that Len hates when female ballroom dancers don’t wear ballroom shoes.

After a quick recap of last night, the show got right down to business and Joanna and Derek were sent right to safety, followed by Mark and Lacey. Meanwhile, everyone is spazzing out about the double elimination and the possibility of being forced to perform in the dance-off.

Donny and Kym are also safe, as are – SHOCKER! – Aaron and Karina. Eesh. I sense we may have a surprise elimination on our hands tonight.

Tiempo Libre was also on deck to bring in some serious Latin flavor, accompanied by some sassy-spicy dancing that effectively washed away the memory of last night’s mambo mess. And it wouldn’t be a DWTS results show without …

… a montage! This week’s was about the stars getting to design the costumes for their partners for next week’s show. Memorable moment: Louie Vito asking,”What’s chiffon?” Oh Louie, you have so much left to learn.

And then, just like that, we’re back to eliminations. Mya and Dmitry are sent to safety, along with Kelly and Louis. Before we continue, it’s another Taylor Swift break, this time with “Love Story.” The costume designers took this one literally, dressing our professionals like kids in a high school drama club version of Romeo & Juliet. Out, damned spot, out I say! (wrong play, I know).

Because the concept of “10″ is confusing to some, Olympic gymnast and person with nothing better to do Nadia Comaneci visits to explain to the masses what it means to score a perfect 10. In short, it means you did a perfect job and scored 10 points. Are we clear now? No? Well, let’s bring in Greg Louganis and Bill Walton to explain some more.

Finally! Elimination time! And, AAA BOO HISS Melissa and Mark are going home. I blame the waltz. I thought they had a few more weeks in them, but the waltz takes no prisoners. In other news, Michael and Anna and Louie and Chelsie will be dancing later in the dance-off. The judges seem to like Michael for some strange reason (mostly because he’s this season’s token “you’re trying so hard but….” contestant), so I’m a little worried for Louie. Annnnd….

Cue dance off! Michael and Anna went first, dancing a samba. On the plus side, he didn’t attempt to do the worm. At times it was venturing into Woz territory, but the judges praised his energy and personality. Guess what? Its Dancing with the Stars, not Personality with the Stars. Louie and Chelsie chose the jive, which suits his personality and at least if they’re going to go out, they’ll do so with a bang. I think having to learn so many dances took its toll on Louie, who forgot half the routine. Chelsie was actually leading him around.The judges are pretty easy on them, all things considered.

Finally, the time had come. Michael and Anna were saved, thanks to Len and Carrie Ann’s votes, and Louie and Chelsie were sent back to the slopes. Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night til it be next week, when two more couples will be eliminated.

When she’s not misquoting Shakespeare, The Disney Chick is blogging over at www.thedisneychick.com.

After last week’s surprise elimination, Dancing with the Stars continues its reign of high-stakes terror:  it’s a double elimination week! With the first-ever dance marathon! And with this week’s dance styles being on completely different ends of the ballroom spectrum, it’s going to be a another wild ride.

Mya and Dmitry Chaplin – Jitterbug: The couples who have the jitterbug have an almost unfair advantage, because you can do lifts in the jitterbug, and basically – it’s the anti-waltz. As usual, Mya knocked this out of the park – their dancing was super fun, had great character, and captured the spirit of the jitterbug (and heyyyy Dmitry, wanna come sweep my floors? Please?). Predictably, Len hates all the theatrics but doesn’t use his typical phrase, “none of that messing about.” Bruno loves it and raves about Mya’s timing, but Carrie Ann claims it wasn’t  wild enough. Personally, I think the judges are continually underrating them so as to add some drama into this season, because right now – there ain’t no competition. These guys are the best.  Scores: 8-7-9.

Melissa Joan Hart and Mark Ballas – Waltz: In a Dancing with the Stars tradition, Mark’s adorable British mom comes to visit and whip his partner into shape. And in another Dancing with the Stars tradition, Mark and Melissa are made to dance to a late 80s/early 90s power ballad. Melissa was not great here;  she had some unsteady moments and dropped her shoulders occasionally, and overall the waltz was missing the smoothness that defines the style. Bruno said she wasn’t dancing up to par for week 6, Carrie Ann agreed, and Len tried to soften the blow by praising her elegance. Scores: 7-7-6.

Mark Dacascos and Lacey Schwimmer – Jitterbug: Things I learned during this show: there is such a thing as a “jitterbug club,” a magical place where couples jitterbug with reckless abandon in extremely close, sweaty quarters. I would be terrified someone would kick me in the face. But for Mark, dancing in da club gave him the jitters in all the right places. This was an explosive, outrageous, insanely difficult jitterbug that solidifies Mark as a real contender in this competition. Carrie Ann did some awkward in-seat break dancing from sheer excitement, Len loved it, and Bruno called it “truly spectacular.” There was apparently a timing oopsie at the end, but I didn’t catch it and I don’t think it matters. Scores: 9-9-8.

Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff - Waltz: Aaron has been in the bottom two weeks in a row, mostly because he is annoying, so he needed a miracle here. Unfortunately, he got the waltz, which, no matter how well he performs, is not the kind of dance that traditionally excites viewers into a phone-dialing frenzy. And oh look, another treacly ballad. This routine had some lovely moments, but was missing a lot of the romance that makes the waltz truly gorgeous. Len called it his best dance so far, Bruno said Aaron lost his footing in places, and Carrie Ann thought it was beautiful. At the end of the day, I don’t think it was particularly memorable and unfortunately for him, I think there’s a good chance he’s once, twice, three times going home tomorrow night. Scores: 8-9-8.

Michael Irvin and Anna Demidova – Waltz: Oh Michael, you’re dancing on borrowed time. Do the producers know that it’s acceptable to perform the waltz to songs other that classic adult contemporary? Seriously, I’m waiting for someone to bust out The Bodyguard soundtrack. Back to Michael – this dance was fine, nothing spectacular. He got creative with his arms at times, but overall he needs to step it up. Bruno agrees and says it wasn’t good enough for week 6, Carrie Ann calls a lift violation, but Len liked it. Scores: 6-8-6.

Kelly Osbourne and Louis Van Amstel – Jitterbug: Kelly’s recovered from last week’s injuries and Louis decides to help her heal by making her swing on a trapeze. Their jitterbug was okay, no major mistakes, but the routine paled in comparison to tonight’s other jitterbugs. And Kelly still needs to work on not letting her nerves show in her face. Smile, Kelly! Everyone likes you! Carrie Ann says she sets herself up for the worst, Len called her dancing “a blueberry muffin with no blueberries,” and Bruno says she need to work on her performance and get rid of her fear. Scores: 7-6-7.

Interview montage break! This week and next week, the couples are faced with the possibility of performing in a dance-off. Zomg, scary!

Louie Vito and Chelsie Hightower – Jitterbug: These two had lots of rehearsal fails until Chelsie decided to infuse their jitterbug with some snowboarderness. And while I wish I could say they shredded this, it was more of a wipeout. Louie’s standing backflip off the judges table was tremendous, but that was about it. He threw poor Chelsie right onto her butt, the shirt ripping was awkward, and the whole jitterbug was so crazy frantic that it was truly cringe-worthy. Len and Bruno both called it clumsy, and Carrie Ann said she liked it but can’t overlook the mistakes. Scores: 7-7-7.

Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough - Waltz: Derek’s time away from the show has made him cranky. Lots of stomping and bad moods in rehearsal, but they managed not to kill each other on the dance floor. It was a nice waltz, they hit some great lines, but Joanna’s footwork still seems wonky. Bruno called them “butterflies dancing in an alpine meadow,” Carrie Ann said Joanna seemed hestitant, and Len called it the best waltz of the night. Scores: 8-9-9.

Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson – Jitterbug: Donny, put that jittahbug away before you hurt someone. Choo Choo! Here comes the awesome train! Donny’s been great all season, and this dance was no exception. Pure fun. And once again, huge props to Kym for her great choreography that makes the most out of Donny’s strengths. Carrie Ann called out a couple stumbles, Len claimed there was too much choo choo, and Bruno called Donny a steam train, whatever that means. Scores: 8-8-8.

Then: the first-ever competition mambo! Basically, all the couples dance together until they get knocked out. Only one couple will be left standing, and points will be awarded based on how long each couple stays in. It’s an endurance test, and each couple must “own” their space, termed “floor craft.” You know how in figure skating competitions, all the skaters warm up together and sometimes they triple axel into each other? It’s kind of like that. Competition-style dancing is a tough order for TV, because there’s so much going on it’s tough to keep track of the action. Here’s how it went down: Michael and Anna were the first to go, followed by Louie and Chelsie, then Melissa and Mark. Tom Bergeron continued to impersonate a golf announcer, and then Kelly and Louis were tapped out, to be joined shortly by Mark and Lacey. Next out were Donny and Kym, followed by Aaron and Karina. Mya and Dmitry were given second place, awarding Derek and Joanna the top spot despite the fact that they looked like tipsy guests at a wedding, flopping around all over the place. I guess you don’t actually have to dance well in the competition mambo, you just have to keep dancing.

Michael and Anna are almost a lock to go home tomorrow, which other couple do you think will join them?

The Disney Chick can be found choo choo ch-blogging over at www.thedisneychick.com.