Now we’re getting somewhere! This episode felt like it was moving much more quickly, even though the action covered barely more than a single day. It was thoroughly enjoyable, full of surprising twists and reveals. We still don’t know what the Visitors are up to, but they’re scary smart when it comes to manipulation.

We start with a “previously on V”, where we get to relive – again – Erica bashing Dale and discovering his reptilian reality. It’s a little soon to tell if the scenes selected for “previously…” are indicating the theme or focus of the episode to come the way they do on Lost.

“Previously…” segues right into the current episode…it’s Anna against a white screen and she’s getting her picture taken for her nifty new traveling visa. Chad’s voiceover tells us it’s a Bright New Day, as we see several other Visitors smile for the camera, then Anna waves her ticket to freedom for the cameras. As Anna ascends, angel-like, inside the Peace Ambassador Centre, Chad’s assistant tells him, “You made this happen.” Chad agrees, but appears to struggle with whether or not this is, in fact, a good thing.

Meanwhile, Father Jack hears confession from humans who are struggling with the ramifications of this alien invasion. They give voice to his own inner turmoil. In spite of the Bright New Day, people are confused and scared – lost.

Then we zip over to Erica’s house; our favorite FBI agent has gotten her groove back. Gone is the shaken and uncertain woman of last week. She’s filing, sorting, hectoring Tyler about staying out of the city’s chaos. She’s disgusted with her government’s malleability: “It’s like 9-11 never happened!” But a knock at the door interrupts. Father Jack has come calling.

Erica and FJ speculate on the V’s motives. The Visitors need us for something, Erica foreshadows. Meanwhile, FJ can take over the filing while duty calls for Erica – there have been death threats against the V’s, and Erica recognizes the importance of humans not being seen as the bad guys.

Ryan’s also nervous about this Bright New Day, warning Val about being careful now that the V’s can travel freely. Val reassures him that it’s normal for people to fear change and then teases him about keeping secrets from her.I wonder if Ryan intentionally sought out a girlfriend who was a psychotherapist to get an education about the human psyche. But Ryan’s got an agenda today. He meets with a very scared Georgie and tells him about the mythical John May, former leader of the Fifth Column and the very first group to betray their leader. Georgie declines accompanying him to see Cyrus. Georgie’s carrying some deep scars, and after the tragedy at the warehouse he’s reluctant to join forces.

Back to the Mother Ship, where Anna’s creepy sidekick Marcus (played by Christopher Shyer) gets an update on Dale’s condition from Joshua, a Visitor doctor whose uniform of flowy white invokes an image of New Age healer. Dale comes to as Joshua watches. “You’re a hero,” Joshua tells the amnesia-stricken Dale. Turns out Dale’s survival can be credited to the fact that his heart’s in the wrong place – haha. Where IS his heart? That’s something our resistance fighters may have to learn as they battle the V’s in the future.

The FBI has arrived at the Peace Ambassador Centre. There are the dots and dashes symbols that indicate the V’s have a language of their very own. It’s a dash of nostalgia for original fans. Erica is teamed – reluctantly – with a Visitor agent, and assigned to find the baddie who’s issuing death threats. Erica requests a tour of the V’s surveillance room, and is surprised at its simplicity. “It was like this when we got here,” her V partner tells her. Three weeks on Earth, and he’s already mastered blaming the US government. Erica glimpses a V entering the real surveillance room, and you just know she’s getting in there eventually.

Ryan finds Cyrus, who seems surprised to see him. “29 guesses why I’m here,” says Ryan. In case anyone forgot the significance of 29, the camera cuts back to the Mother Ship, where Anna’s issuing orders to the captains of all 29 Mother Ships. She lectures them on the impact of popular opinion among humans and encourages them to monitor and shape it when they can. In a new and improved version of beam-me-up, the holographic captains vanish one by one.

The protest movement has a figurehead, Mary Faulkner, whose F16 pilot husband was killed during The Arrival. We learn that 642 others died that day, and Mary’s determined to avenge them all by encouraging everyone to hate on the V’s. Anna is really worried about Mary Faulkner and explains to Marcus that hatred is contagious – they’ll have to make an example of Mary so she doesn’t infect others.

Left with the FBI weirdo list, FJ finds Georgie and heads off to his last known address. FJ is clearly new at keeping a low profile – the name of his church is printed on the side of his car. Inside the house, he finds newspaper clippings about Georgie’s murdered family. A woman – a neighbor? – tells FJ that Georgie went off the deep end after the murders. Choosing not to remain anonymous, FJ leaves his calling card.

Ryan’s told Cyrus what he’s after, but Cyrus isn’t going to play ball. Pulling a gun, Cyrus presses an alarm button and tells Ryan the V’s are coming. Turns out, they’ve promised Cyrus they’ll “reconnect” him if he turns in enough Fifth Column. “They’ll skin you alive,” insists Ryan. And what, turn him into a nice pair of boots? But Cyrus is crazed – he misses “the bliss” that Anna can provide. What’s this mysterious “bliss” going to turn out to be? A drug, or perhaps a mind-altering operation? We’re not given more than that. But it must be pretty special and powerful since Cyrus seems to think the end justifies the means. Ryan, however, is not interested in bliss – he tackles Cyrus and disarms him. When the V’s arrive, they find Cyrus and Ryan gone and a message spray-painted on the wall: John May Lives.

Erica and her current partner have their suspect in sight and the chase is on. The sound mixing on both broadcasts I watched was off or something for the next two scenes, so the dialogue was meaningless – it’s a testament to the makers of V that the gist of things was conveyed effectively anyway. The shooter pulls his gun and Erica wrestles him to the ground in five seconds flat, saving Marcus’ life. The V’s lead the suspect away; they’ll do the questioning. Erica’s not happy about it, but doesn’t argue.

Marcus thanks Erica for saving his life. “Blame instinct and training,” she says, then smiles to reassure him she’s joking. But Marcus is wary – better keep his eye on this lady!

Now that V security is occupied, Erica sneaks into the REAL surveillance room, where hundreds of live images are being projected from all over the city. By touching them, Erica can zoom in and hear what’s happening. Our clever girl sees herself in one of the images, and moves around the room until she finds the source of the camera. It’s the patch on the V jacket.

Tyler hooks up with Lisa, who has forgiven him – of course, he’s back on the approved list again. The two head to Tyler’s place, where they begin a passionate embrace, only to be interrupted by Erica’s arrival. Tyler strips off his uniform and heads off Erica in the hall. It must suck to be a cop’s kid – Erica sees right through him and barges into his room. There’s Lisa, sans uniform, and for the first time this episode, we see Erica flummoxed. How embarrassing! Erica, of course, has no idea that Lisa is a V.

Joshua is walking Dale through an environment constructed from the memories they found in his brain. It’s the FBI offices. With Joshua’s prodding, Dale recalls living among the humans as a sleeper V: It was smelly, crowded and disgusting. Dale recalls that he was not the only V at the bureau, confirming our suspicions that there are more we’ve yet to meet. Finally, Dale remembers it was Erica that cracked him open and vows to kill her.

But not so fast! Joshua remarks that Erica will make a wonderful ally, as a surprised Dale experiences the illusion falling to pieces around him. “The Fifth Column says hello,” Joshua tells him as he plunges a needle into Dale’s arm, presumably killing him. Yay! for more Fifth Column, but fans were already upset at the thought that Alan Tudyk might not return. Is this the first will-he-or-won’t-he-be-back cliffhanger of the fall season?

Georgie finds FJ and the two empathize with each other, while FJ encourages him to help mount the resistance. Georgie’s still not sure – he’s been there and done that, and “they crush us every time.” Georgie’s obviously a tortured soul; I hope we’re going to get more backstory.

Anna rehearses her sympathy speech for Widow Mary; what a great scene for Morena Baccarin! She plays it with such a serious earnestness it’s almost comical. Anna even manages a tear, just in time to meet the Widow and convince her that hope and trust are the keys to healing. Mary says as much to the protesters gathered outside, while the world and the media watch. It’s a feel-good speech, almost a standard for politicians or anyone encouraging tolerance and understanding: what we share is far greater, yada yada. Anna follows up with assurances that the V’s will not seek revenge for the assassination attempt.

Chad, of course, will get the exclusive interview with Widow Mary. We haven’t seen much of Chad this week, other than commentary about events taking place. I hope he gets a little more screen time before the end of this fall block – it’s been hard to get a read on the character. I’d like to think there’s some depth there. As Chad reports on the events of the day being a PR coup for the V’s, we see Anna thank the assassin – she staged the whole thing! I wonder if Marcus knows it?

Our shaky resistance meets – Georgie, Erica, FJ and Ryan. Such a small group and such a monumental task before them!

The final scene has one more reveal coming – Lisa is Anna’s daughter! Nice to see the V’s don’t eat their young. “Tyler’s the one,” Lisa tells her, leaving us wondering just what’s in store for the Evans family in the future.

Next week’s teaser – the fall finale – makes that episode look as action-packed as this one. Without spoiling too much, it appears as though the writers were very intuitive; the plot could play on the real-life borderline hysteria over the flu vaccine controversies. Now they’re going to have to leave viewers with the perfect combination of enough information to care about what happens next and enough questions unanswered that we have a reason to tune in next March. Feel free to add your theories and thoughts in the comments.

It’s A Small World After All Disclaimer: I discovered last week that Executive Producer and Writer Scott Peters went to university with my brother-in-law – Comm. Studies, which happens to be what my own daughter is currently studying at the same university. Nice to see a local boy done good!

When not leading the Resistance, Shelley blogs at Once I Was A Writer

Last night, all danced thrice. Tonight, three will remain. Who does America like the least? Let’s find out, after 55 minutes of filler, on … Dancing with the Stars!

The encore dance is, unsurprisingly, Mya & Dmitry doing their Salsa. It earned a perfect 30, and we once again get to see why. I always secretly hope someone falls down during the encore dance, but my secret hopes are always dashed. They’re just as awesome, and get a huge standing ovation.

It’s time for recaps of last night. We find out that Kelly’s Rumba solo was almost completely improvised because she forgot her choreography, and they were concerned about top-poppage in her yellow dress. Joanna savored comments from the judges. Donny suffered Dressgate 2009, but came back with two great dances. Mya slaughtered all three dances and got Len to remark not once, but TWICE about her posterior.

Who’s going home? Find out after the cut, and 50 more minutes of filler. [Read more →]

It’s hard to believe that 9 weeks ago we had to sit through sixteen celebrities. And yet, here we are at the final four. Donny Osmond, Kelly Osbourne, Mya, and Joanna Krupa are in the home stretch, fighting through the last couple of weeks, battling for that hideous mirror ball trophy. Let’s roll, Dancing with the Stars!

Once more down the staircase, and once again, Trumpet Guy goes totally insane. The stage looks practically empty with our remaining four couples lined up. Tonight everyone will perform three full routines: two fresh dances, one of which will have a 15-second solo, and the knockout dance they’ve been working on for weeks.

Donny & Kym – Tango – Kym brings Gilles Marini into rehearsal — he got tens in his Tango last season. His big advice is apparently to make the audience uncomfortable by the end. Um, what? Donny makes Kym uncomfortable during rehearsal, then reiterates that he wants to make everyone uncomfortable. With his passion, I guess? This is the weirdest thing. I tell you what, Kym’s dress is what’s making me uncomfortable. How painful is that, having your lady lumps squashed and mashed like that! Donny’s wearing a gold lamé jacket and black gloves, dancing to a song I’m guessing is called “Black and Gold” (due to the repetition of the words “black and gold” throughout). Their Tango is decent, don’t get me wrong. But it looks like there are a few stumbles, and they’re not in close enough contact, and it’s overall just not that exciting. Nor do I feel uncomfortable. Plus Kym has what looks like a torn bit of dress hanging down. After the dance, Donny sits on the floor and covers his face, then raises his fists and growls at the heavens. Len says it wasn’t as good as the Argentine Tango recently, and Donny blames it on seeing Marie in the crowd. Bruno is sad that Donny didn’t cover up his mistakes as well as usual. Carrie Ann missed the drama and the light and shade, but gives him props for finishing. We get to see the torn dress backstage, and Donny kicks himself some more. Scores: 7-7-7 for a chicken dinner.

Joanna & Derek -Viennese Waltz – In rehearsal, Derek gets frustrated like crazy. So Brooke Burke comes in to teach Joanna how to deal with his punky attitude. Then Brooke and Joanna share a cheek-kiss, to which Derek gets all eyebrow-raisy. Okay, NOW I’m uncomfortable. Their dance gets the extra-special set pieces of long, flowing curtains. They’re dancing to Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah”, which just makes me think of that adorable dreadlocked Jason Castro on American Idol. (Clearly, I watch far too much reality TV.) They start with a couple of nice spin tricks, although at one point Joanna’s feet look like a couple of delicate blocks of wood. The waltzing itself is decent, but a couple of times she shuffles her feet and it isn’t terribly elegant. They get a big standing ovation from the audience. Bruno says the dance had the grace of angels in heaven, but then calls out her hesitation. Carrie Ann loves how Joanna has grown, gives the dance love, but then tells her to work on the reaching. Len compliments her hold and posture, as well as the choreography, but calls out a couple of “peculiar” moments. Scores: 9-9-9 for 27.

Kelly & Louis – Rumba – Before rehearsals start, Kelly learns that one of the tiny cute puffball dogs she was looking after passed away. So she’s weepy, but still plugs along. She’s quiet and concentrating and working hard, and in a way it feels wrong. I’m used to the flighty, bubbly Kelly. The dance starts out really well, if you put aside the fact that Louis is kind of a weird lecherous leathery guy and Kelly’s so young and they’re dancing the super-romantic dance of romance. Since this is their Latin dance, Kelly has to do a 15-second solo. It’s not terrible, but it’s not that fabulous either; I think she got a tough style for a solo, since there isn’t a lot of the typical Latin dance bootyshaking or showboating in the Rumba. Louis comes back, and the dance ends with a fabulous difficult-looking move. Sharon Osbourne is applauding like mad, and the crowd is back on its feet. Carrie Ann tells Kelly she has a magical quality that reaches into her heart and brings her to tears. Len won’t be as “airy-fairy” as Carrie Ann, then says this wasn’t one of her best, but it certainly wasn’t her worst. Bruno wants to see a relentless sense of eroticism in the Rumba, which he didn’t get from this dance (good, says I), but commends the poses and figures. Scores: 8-8-8 for 24.

Mya & Dmitry – Waltz – They make up “boot camp” rules for rehearsals. They’ve also set up a tent in the rehearsal studio, to make us believe they’re sleeping there in order to squeeze in as much dance time as possible. Riiiight. They start their Waltz with Mya held in Dmitry’s arms, then proceed to tear up the dance floor, Waltz style. It’s a great dance, full of smooth loveliness, until the last few seconds when it looks like Mya’s toe comes off the floor during a lift (although her skirts are hiding her feet), and they have a tiny hiccup getting unwound from each other. Of course, they get a standing O (Will every dance get one?) for their effort. Len loves it for romance, elegance, movement, and control. Bruno calls it “love set to music” and absolutely loved it. Carrie Ann says she enjoyed it, but thought they were slightly not connected in the hold. No word about the maybe-lift. Scores: 9-9-10 for 28, although Bruno’s tie covers the 0 and it looks for a moment like he gives her an 11. Or a 1.

Donny & Kym – Samba – The second round will have, instead of rehearsal footage, little packages about how the stars became stars. We see Donny through his time with the Osmonds, then the Donny & Marie show, and then there’s awesome interview footage of Stevie Wonder in front of Sleeping Beauty Castle at Disneyland. Also, the two of Donny’s sons who are interviewed don’t look like brothers. At all. For their dance, they’re both slathered in sparkles. It’s maybe a little slow for the Samba, and it has its tiny problems, but Donny seems to be having a lot more fun than in his previous dance. His solo is all right, and after they’re done, he’s much happier. Bruno calls it effortless, carefree, and fun. Carrie Ann felt it was better than the other dance, but it felt a little sloppy and small. Len agrees with Bruno. Scores: 8-9-9 for 26.

Joanna & Derek – Cha Cha Cha – Joanna was born in Poland, and moved to Chicago at age 5. Her mother busted rear to raise her girls. Joanna moved to Los Angeles at age 20 to become a model. Also, she has a super-hunky fiancé. And Hugh Hefner has great things to say about her — did you know she’s going to be the December cover girl on Playboy? Neither did I. She starts the dance with her solo, up on the band stage shaking her fringe trousers. She joins up with Derek, and they proceed to Cha. Her legs and hips are moving well, but there’s something weird about her arms. They seem oddly stiff, and she’s not fully extending when she should. For the last few bars of the song, she mouths the words, which is extra weird. Carrie Ann loves how Joanna can go from elegant to wild. Len wants it to be a little bit more cheeky, but calls it lovely. Bruno tells her she’s “natural sex”. Scores: 9-9-9 for 27 (again).

Kelly & Louis – Quick Step – Kelly grew up in England, where a teacher refers to her as “very polite, but she always spoke her mind.” She spent time touring with Ozzy as a kid and learned to be resilient, but the 2000 MTV reality show (and the negative reactions to her) drove her to drugs. But now she’s on her way up and out, and Sharon and Ozzy couldn’t be prouder. They’re dancing to “99 Red Balloons”, which delights me. She looks so much more fit than when she started the show, especially in this dress. There are some timing problems between them, and a little flub at the end, but overall it’s a good dance. My biggest problem is that she only has two facial expressions: concentrating really hard, and grinning like a goofball. Another standing O, and it’s over to the judges. Len says there are two people he knows are happy: Kelly’s mum, and himself. The dance was totally beyond his expectations. Bruno compares her to Speedy Gonzales, and calls her a twinkling, twinkling star. Carrie Ann cheers Kelly, and calls the dance amazing and fabulous. Kelly, in tears, thanks the judges for all of their help. Man, she seems like a nice kid. Scores: 9-9-9 for 27, her highest score ever.

Mya & Dmitry – Salsa – She was born and raised in the Washington, D.C. area. She was a tap dancer all through school, but wasn’t confident enough to sing for her parents until she was a teen. She had her first big single right when her parents were getting divorced and her mom got cancer. Wowsers, that’s a mixed bag of emotion. Their Salsa begins with the tiniest bit of theatrics — she unbuttons his jacket, under which he’s wearing no shirt. They’re shaking and shimmying to a sped-up version of “La Isla Bonita”, and her solo is jam-packed with excellent bootyshaking. Do I smell tens? Bruno stands up and shouts SEN-SA-TION-AL at them. Carrie Ann calls the solo amazing and difficult and amazing. Len channels crazy inappropriate Bruno, first saying “tutti frutti, what a booty,” then moving on to “I was mesmerized by your buttocks.” Scores: 10-10-10 for her second perfect score.

The third dance of the night will be the knockout dance that all couples prepared in case they had to dance for their lives on the double-elimination nights. We get a package of them all building and rehearsing their dances — they were allowed to choose their own styles and music. These will be the same short length as we saw during the dance-offs in previous weeks. Off we go!

Donny & Kym – Jitterbug – Finally, we get to see these sparkly green costumes in action. The dance is packed with energy, and showy as heck, but as usual with Donny, there are little errors here and there, and a few problems with staying in synch with Kym. But overall, it’s a fun routine. Carrie Ann tells him he needed this dance to be good … and it was! Len calls the dance another winner. Bruno agrees, calling it upbeat and full of vigor. Scores: 9-9-9 for 27, giving them a total of 74 out of 90 for the night.

Joanna & Derek – Salsa – Ooh, right after Mya gets a perfect 30 for a Salsa. Tough stuff. She’s either wearing a lower heel, or dancing kind of flat-footed. But she can really shimmy and shake, and they get some good moves in their short dance. Len compares these routines to little hors d’oeuvres, and calls this one hot, tasty, and full of spice. Bruno chimes in, calling the dance delicious and flirtatious, then blows kisses. Carrie Ann calls it excellent, and says she’d love to see Joanna in the finals. Scores: 9-9-9 for 27, giving them a total of 81 out of 90 for the night (although it sounds like Samantha says their score is 71).

Kelly & Louis – Cha Cha Cha – They’re dancing to “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”, and it’s cute and light, but doesn’t seem all that difficult. And it feels shorter than the other knockout dances so far. But there’s no stumbling and no missed steps, so that’s good. Bruno gets his creepiness back, declaring: “It might have been a quickie, but it worked for me.” Then he compliments her precision and timing. Carrie Ann compliments how she completed her hand movements every time. Len says she did all three dances to a very high level. Scores: 9-9-9 for 27, giving them a total of 78 out of 90 for the night.

Mya & Dmitry – Cha Cha Cha – Another really short one, danced to that song about a fire burning on the dance floor. But the dance doesn’t really set me on fire — I’ve seen much better out of these two. I don’t know what it is. There’s plenty of bootyshaking, some nice moves … I’m just not amazed. Carrie Ann loves the hip action and the tricks, but something didn’t do it for her. Len starts by telling Bergeron how he hates Bruno yelling in his ear. Then he says he was disappointed … that it wasn’t a longer dance. Bruno leans forward and shouts something about it being an action-packed feature. Scores: 9-10-10 for 29, giving them a total of 87 out of 90 for the night. That’s impressive.

Tomorrow: Alicia Keys! Leona Lewis! The two remaining Bee Gees! Oh, and an elimination. We’re getting into the time of the competition where viewer votes can really have a huge impact — both Mya and Joanna have been doing so well with the judges, we don’t really know how the viewers have been voting. What with Donny and Kelly being so popular, it’s anybody’s guess as to who’s going home tomorrow. All I know is, I’ll be there. With bells on!

Missy usually leaves her bells over at themissy.com.

Although record numbers tuned in for the premiere last week, Episode 2 saw those ratings fall 30%. And while the collective complaint of the first episode was the lightning speed with which it moved and how much was packed in, I found last night’s episode excruciatingly slow. There was, in my humble opinion, very little forward movement to this episode – we have very little new info about what our sneaky lizards are up to and our newly founded resistance members Erica and Jack seemed a little shell-shocked.

But perhaps the plot this week is a reflection of how it usually is in times of sweeping crisis or change – hurry up and wait. Initial enthusiasm and excitement quickly gives way to the need-some-time-to process-this reality of most things in life.

And indeed, our heroes, at least, need some time to process all that they’ve experienced since the Visitors came calling. It provides some convenient filler while the question of the episode is decided: Will the US agree to diplomatic relations with the Visitors or not?

[Read more →]

After a night of dancing that included Ziggy Stardust, a rag doll, and one terrifying dance from Donny Osmond, it’s time to find out who made the final four. But before that can happen, we have an hour of results show to get through:

Joanna and Derek, clearly the producers’ favorite, are given the encore performance even though Mya and Dmitry scored a perfect 30 last night. And so, we relived everyone’s favorite decade, The Future. The Future is less styled tonight, presumably because The Future has other things to do later.

Here are the current standings:

4th place – Aaron and Karina & Donny and Kym (50)

3rd place – Kelly and Louis (51)

2nd place – Joanna and Derek (52)

1st place – Mya and Dmitry (59)

Come on. And they really couldn’t have the encore? Kicking off the eliminations, Joanna and Derek were quickly sent to safety.

Michael Buble is on deck to set the mood and be wonderful. I love the new single, I love him, this was probably my favorite musical performance all season. Backstage, Joanna says her secret to the semifinals is to “eat more food.” Uh, if you say so. More importantly, Mya and Dmitry are safe! I am so excited to see them rock the semifinals next week. And you know they’re gonna rock it.

In other news, America went crazy and decided that out of a cornucopia of past DWTS celebs, Cheetah Girl Sabrina Bryan was the one who should be brought back to dance again. Really, America? Sabrina Bryan over Mel B? In this “Design-a-Dance” extravaganza, we’ll get to see what dance, costume, and song selection viewers picked for her.  She was selected to dance a paso doble to “Eye of the Tiger” dressed as Chester Cheeto. Guys, it’s the Rocky soundtrack. Stop taking things so literally.

Then Michael Buble came back to bring some much-needed class to the ballroom, and he went ahead and did “Feelin’ Good,” my favorite Buble tune, and then I got all starry-eyed and mesmerized by the fact that Dolph Lundgren has a doppelganger and he’s a professional ballroom dancer. Who was that couple? If you know, shout it out in the comments.

Besides me and Buble, Donny and Kym are feelin’ good, because they’re safe, leaving Aaron/Karina and Kelly/Louis in the bottom two.

As if Buble wasn’t enough, YouTube star and angel Susan Boyle took the stage to belt out her famous “I Dreamed a Dream.” Oh SuBo, I watched you sing that song a zillion times (yes, I’m one of those people), and you still give me chills every. single. time.

And get ready to giggle, because DanceCenter is back! Of all the results show time-fillers, DanceCenter is by far my favorite. Notable quotes:

“Polish girls are hot.” – Len Goodman (re: Joanna)

“How old is this guy anyway? He acts like he’s three years old on sugar.” – Kenny Mayne (re: Donny)

“It’s a stupid TV show about dancing, what are you crying about it for?” – Kenny Mayne (re: Aaron, duh)

“You’ve got the hair of a hooligan, you’ve got the attitude of a hooligan” – Len Goodman (re: Kenny)

Noteworthy: Donny and Bruno have a “platonic celebrity slash judge relationship.” Interpret that as you will.

Finally, it’s game time. The lights came down, the scary music came on, and Aaron Carter was sent packing. It’s not surprising, but it does make for an interesting top four: Donny Osmond, Joanna Krupa, Kelly Osbourne, and Mya. Next week it’s four couples, three routines each, and a whole buncha dancing. Squee!

When she’s not crooning along to Michael Buble, The Disney Chick can be found at www.thedisneychick.com.

Quarterfinals! It’s week eight and the pressure is, as they say, on like Donkey Kong. Five couples, two dances each. The Latin round involves “dancing through the decades.” I would say “bring it on,” but we’re all likely to get way more than we bargained for anyway.

Ballroom Round:

Mya and Dmitry Chaplin - Quickstep: Mya and Len have come to the conclusion that the judges are full of nonsense and they should continue doing they best they can to please the viewers. Wise. Mya’s dancing was, as usual, clean, classy, and seemingly critique-proof. But for the first time in eight weeks, Len liked their performance! His Grumpiness said he couldnt find anything wrong with it, Bruno compared their dance to fine champagne, and Carrie Ann said they were perfectly in sync. Scores: 9-10-10.

Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff - Foxtrot: Aaron claims he has never won anything in his life. Say what, pop star? What about all the tweenage hearts you’ve won over the years? Poor Karina has the flu, and they both rehearse with masks as though a face mask will prevent the spread of the ballroom plague. As if the flu wasn’t bad enough, Karina is made to wear sparkly pink goucho pants. The foxtrot tends to be more of a fun, old-Hollywood style dance, and this routine was a more contemporary version. For me, it was lacking in the pop! the foxtrot usually has. Bruno said Aaron’s dancing was tense, Carrie Ann called out a lift, and Len said he was proud but …. so that doesn’t bode well. Scores: 7-8-8.

Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough - Quickstep: Derek had the ballroom plague the last time Joanna had the quickstep. The producers have assigned Joanna and Mya the same dance, so instead of focusing on Joanna’s technique, they waste their rehearsal time watching Mya’s footage. Eyes on your own paper! Their routine started with what Len would term “messing about” and continued to be marked by Joanna’s sloppy arms and horrendous feet (It’s week eight – she should have learned to point her toes by now). I found this incredibly painful to watch, and thankfully Carrie Ann called her out for those feet, Len said it wasn’t up to quarterfinals standards, and Bruno said it wasn’t one of her best. Scores: 8-7-8.

Kelly Osbourne and Louis Van Amstel – Foxtrot: Kelly hasn’t had a ballroom dance since week one – how is that possible? And ohmigod Kelly’s dogs are so cute can I have them please? I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on rehearsals either, if I had all that adorableness in the room. And hey, when did Kelly get so good? This was an awesome routine for her and her personality really came out to shine. All of the judges praised her grace and charm but said she needed to work on her footwork. Scores: 8-8-9.

Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson – Viennese Waltz: No other couple is doing the Viennese Waltz tonight, so Donny doesn’t have to worry about besting anyone. This was a sweet, light, sophisticated waltz. Really, truly lovely, like the perfect wedding dance.  Bruno called him the ultimate entertainer, Carrie Ann said she was mesmerized, and Len said there was too much fluffy stuff. Scores: 9-8-9.

Latin Round: To show everyone how it’s done, out come the professionals … including a couple I don’t recognize. Could these guys be practicing for next season?

Mya and Dmitry Chaplin - Samba: In case Dmitry’s mustache didn’t tip you off, they were assigned the 70’s. Beep beep! Awesome samba time! This was fun, exciting, and appropriately cheesy – 70’s cheesy, not Ian Ziering cheesy. Carrie Ann said she now believes Mya is in it to win it, Len said she was on fire, and Bruno “sang” Ain’t No Mountain High Enough. Who’s going to the finals? Mya is! Scores: 10-10-10. First 30 of the season!

Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff - Samba: Aaron has the 90’s, which is appropriate, since that’s the last time he was famous. He attempts to teach Karina 90’s dancing (is there even such a thing?); Karina becomes confused. And guess what? Those moves look as lame now as they did in the 90’s. The samba parts in this routine were great, although Aaron is still going overboard with his arms. Len said they sold it, Bruno said his energy was put to good use, and Carrie Ann called him a great performer. Scores: 9-9-9.

Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough - Paso Doble: Is “the future” a decade? Let’s say no. Joanna and Derek have the 2000’s, and apparently I missed the part in this past decade where we looked like extras from The Fifth Element. In the future, Joanna’s legs are still a mess and Derek is a David Bowie Halloween costume. The choreography was very cool, but was it a paso doble? Meh. Bruno called it a masterful reinvention, Carrie Ann called out a stumble, and Len called it genius. I think the judges were overly dazzled by the great choreography and overlooked a lot of Joanna’s shortcomings. Scores: 9-10-10.

Kelly Osbourne and Louis Van Amstel - Jive: These guys have the 60’s, and they took a mod approach to the routine. Cuteness! Kelly needs to watch out for sometimes-flailing arms, but this was a fun, groovy, clean dance. The rag doll prop was a little weird (not that it was the first time there’s been doll-related weirdness on this show – *cough Marie Osmond cough*). Len called her a revelation, Bruno yelled “come back to daddy!” and Carrie Ann called it one of her best performances. Scores: 8-9-9.

Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson – Paso Doble: There were a couple of ways they could have taken their 80’s look – Sid & Nancy punk, Dirty Dancing romance, or Brat Pack adorable. In the end, Crazy 80’s won out. All that was missing from their costumes was a Flock of Seagulls hairdo for Donny. Remember that doll weirdness I just *cough* mentioned? It was like that, but with more smoke. And fake mutton chops. Len called it crazy, Bruno said it had more camp than something having to do with drag queens, and Carrie Ann called it over the edge and insane. Understatement. Scores: 8-8-8.

Big happenings tomorrow night – we find out which four couples are in the semifinals. I’m thinking tonight was Aaron’s last stand, assuming America isn’t too traumatized to vote for Donny. Plus: Susan Boyle is the musical guest! Be sure to check back here for the full recap.

When she’s not spinning right round baby right round, The Disney Chick can be found at www.thedisneychick.com.

I’d like to welcome back our newest guest author S. Divnich, who will be covering “V” here on The Disney Blog. – Ed.

It seems like we’ve been waiting forever, but the Visitors finally showed up last night with the premiere of V, ABC’s newest sci-fi offering.

The episode opened with an attempt to make it personal – captions reading “Where were you when JFK was assassinated? Where were you on 9/11?” led into “Where were you this morning?” So right off the bat, anyone who has not seen any advance info about this show is going to know – something big’s about to happen.

Tuesday, 6:30 a.m. Having asked “Where were you?” the first block shows us where (and who) our main players are. FBI Agent Erica Evans (Elizabeth Mitchell) awakens to her house shaking. She finds her son Tyler (Logan Huffman) is not in his bed and gets him on the cell, to find he’s in the ER, and barely feeling bad about it. This theme is going to play strong on this show – Erica wants to protect her son, but he’s not going to make it easy for her.

Newsman Chad Decker (Scott Wolf) is showering and heading into work. Ryan Nicholls (Morris Chestnut) is buying an engagement ring. Father Jack is opening the church doors. Val, Ryan’s girlfriend, is at home. It’s difficult to show simultaneous action on a TV show, and the pace felt a little off. We get a shaking water glass next to Erica right off the bat, but it’s several minutes before we see Val’s shaking coffee cup, FJ’s shaking light fixture, Ryan’s ring jumping around on the counter. Regardless, things start to shake, rattle and roll, and you can tell they’re not earthquake-savvy Californians – rather than run to the nearest doorway, Val seems to try to stop her bookshelves from falling over first.

In the street, Ryan does what so many of us have done since 9/11, what must be second-nature to New Yorkers by now – he looks to the sky to see what’s falling. The writers don’t disappoint – the fighter jet falling out of the sky gave me a lurch of déjà vu that was most unpleasant. Eight years later, and not even American, and I can recall the footage from 9/11 in a heartbeat. It brings a tear to my eye every time.

The giant Mother Ships darken the sky and all hell breaks loose. They could have saved some money by inserting footage from movies past – as one onscreen citizen put it, “This IS Independence Day.” And Deep Impact, and The Day After Tomorrow, and so many other running-from-the-end-of-the-world scenes. Conveniently placed TVs show newscasters reporting similar Mother Ships hovering over 29 major cities around the world.

The introduction of Visitors is very cool compared to the 1983 version (more on the comparison later). The bottom of the Mother Ships morphs into a giant movie-screen type thing. On the ground, we see Erica’s maternal “get behind my arm kid, I’ll protect you” gesture with Tyler. Erica’s a mother bear, through and through. And then, like a benevolent supreme being from on high, Anna’s smiling face gazes down on the planet.

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First, if you missed “V” last night, you can now download it as a free video on iTunes. Second, if you did see it, you weren’t alone. Almost 14 million people watched with you. That’s a good sign for ABC which has three successful Sci-Fi shows right now (LOST, FlashForward, and “V”).

The question is can ABC sustain, or even grow, those numbers. There are just three more episodes before the series goes on hiatus until March (to avoid the Winter Olympics and American Idol). During that time, the show will get retooled. This week they added new show runner charged with speeding up the pace of the show.

USA Today talked with Elizabeth Mitchell about the show before last night’s premier.

Mitchell, who plays hero FBI agent Erica Evans, says the resulting changes merely speed the pace of storytelling to pack a bigger wallop, including big cliffhangers in the Nov. 24 episode. Filming on that episode is set to wrap today, giving actors another unexpected 10-week break as the show is retooled. (Mitchell will trek to Hawaii to shoot new Lost episodes.)

“They didn’t do anything different. They heightened it, they took it up,” she says. The changes are meant to recapture the big-event appeal that started V in a different era. “The idea is to make it a movie, something where we are on the edge of our seats, wondering what’s going to happen.”

From what I saw last night, “V” will make sci-fi geeks very happy even as LOST draws to a close.