We start with a “previously on V”, where we get to relive – again – Erica bashing Dale and discovering his reptilian reality. It’s a little soon to tell if the scenes selected for “previously…” are indicating the theme or focus of the episode to come the way they do on Lost.

“Previously…” segues right into the current episode…it’s Anna against a white screen and she’s getting her picture taken for her nifty new traveling visa. Chad’s voiceover tells us it’s a Bright New Day, as we see several other Visitors smile for the camera, then Anna waves her ticket to freedom for the cameras. As Anna ascends, angel-like, inside the Peace Ambassador Centre, Chad’s assistant tells him, “You made this happen.” Chad agrees, but appears to struggle with whether or not this is, in fact, a good thing.

Meanwhile, Father Jack hears confession from humans who are struggling with the ramifications of this alien invasion. They give voice to his own inner turmoil. In spite of the Bright New Day, people are confused and scared – lost.

Then we zip over to Erica’s house; our favorite FBI agent has gotten her groove back. Gone is the shaken and uncertain woman of last week. She’s filing, sorting, hectoring Tyler about staying out of the city’s chaos. She’s disgusted with her government’s malleability: “It’s like 9-11 never happened!” But a knock at the door interrupts. Father Jack has come calling.

Erica and FJ speculate on the V’s motives. The Visitors need us for something, Erica foreshadows. Meanwhile, FJ can take over the filing while duty calls for Erica – there have been death threats against the V’s, and Erica recognizes the importance of humans not being seen as the bad guys.

Ryan’s also nervous about this Bright New Day, warning Val about being careful now that the V’s can travel freely. Val reassures him that it’s normal for people to fear change and then teases him about keeping secrets from her.I wonder if Ryan intentionally sought out a girlfriend who was a psychotherapist to get an education about the human psyche. But Ryan’s got an agenda today. He meets with a very scared Georgie and tells him about the mythical John May, former leader of the Fifth Column and the very first group to betray their leader. Georgie declines accompanying him to see Cyrus. Georgie’s carrying some deep scars, and after the tragedy at the warehouse he’s reluctant to join forces.

Back to the Mother Ship, where Anna’s creepy sidekick Marcus (played by Christopher Shyer) gets an update on Dale’s condition from Joshua, a Visitor doctor whose uniform of flowy white invokes an image of New Age healer. Dale comes to as Joshua watches. “You’re a hero,” Joshua tells the amnesia-stricken Dale. Turns out Dale’s survival can be credited to the fact that his heart’s in the wrong place – haha. Where IS his heart? That’s something our resistance fighters may have to learn as they battle the V’s in the future.

The FBI has arrived at the Peace Ambassador Centre. There are the dots and dashes symbols that indicate the V’s have a language of their very own. It’s a dash of nostalgia for original fans. Erica is teamed – reluctantly – with a Visitor agent, and assigned to find the baddie who’s issuing death threats. Erica requests a tour of the V’s surveillance room, and is surprised at its simplicity. “It was like this when we got here,” her V partner tells her. Three weeks on Earth, and he’s already mastered blaming the US government. Erica glimpses a V entering the real surveillance room, and you just know she’s getting in there eventually.

Ryan finds Cyrus, who seems surprised to see him. “29 guesses why I’m here,” says Ryan. In case anyone forgot the significance of 29, the camera cuts back to the Mother Ship, where Anna’s issuing orders to the captains of all 29 Mother Ships. She lectures them on the impact of popular opinion among humans and encourages them to monitor and shape it when they can. In a new and improved version of beam-me-up, the holographic captains vanish one by one.

The protest movement has a figurehead, Mary Faulkner, whose F16 pilot husband was killed during The Arrival. We learn that 642 others died that day, and Mary’s determined to avenge them all by encouraging everyone to hate on the V’s. Anna is really worried about Mary Faulkner and explains to Marcus that hatred is contagious – they’ll have to make an example of Mary so she doesn’t infect others.

Left with the FBI weirdo list, FJ finds Georgie and heads off to his last known address. FJ is clearly new at keeping a low profile – the name of his church is printed on the side of his car. Inside the house, he finds newspaper clippings about Georgie’s murdered family. A woman – a neighbor? – tells FJ that Georgie went off the deep end after the murders. Choosing not to remain anonymous, FJ leaves his calling card.

Ryan’s told Cyrus what he’s after, but Cyrus isn’t going to play ball. Pulling a gun, Cyrus presses an alarm button and tells Ryan the V’s are coming. Turns out, they’ve promised Cyrus they’ll “reconnect” him if he turns in enough Fifth Column. “They’ll skin you alive,” insists Ryan. And what, turn him into a nice pair of boots? But Cyrus is crazed – he misses “the bliss” that Anna can provide. What’s this mysterious “bliss” going to turn out to be? A drug, or perhaps a mind-altering operation? We’re not given more than that. But it must be pretty special and powerful since Cyrus seems to think the end justifies the means. Ryan, however, is not interested in bliss – he tackles Cyrus and disarms him. When the V’s arrive, they find Cyrus and Ryan gone and a message spray-painted on the wall: John May Lives.

Erica and her current partner have their suspect in sight and the chase is on. The sound mixing on both broadcasts I watched was off or something for the next two scenes, so the dialogue was meaningless – it’s a testament to the makers of V that the gist of things was conveyed effectively anyway. The shooter pulls his gun and Erica wrestles him to the ground in five seconds flat, saving Marcus’ life. The V’s lead the suspect away; they’ll do the questioning. Erica’s not happy about it, but doesn’t argue.

Marcus thanks Erica for saving his life. “Blame instinct and training,” she says, then smiles to reassure him she’s joking. But Marcus is wary – better keep his eye on this lady!

Now that V security is occupied, Erica sneaks into the REAL surveillance room, where hundreds of live images are being projected from all over the city. By touching them, Erica can zoom in and hear what’s happening. Our clever girl sees herself in one of the images, and moves around the room until she finds the source of the camera. It’s the patch on the V jacket.

Tyler hooks up with Lisa, who has forgiven him – of course, he’s back on the approved list again. The two head to Tyler’s place, where they begin a passionate embrace, only to be interrupted by Erica’s arrival. Tyler strips off his uniform and heads off Erica in the hall. It must suck to be a cop’s kid – Erica sees right through him and barges into his room. There’s Lisa, sans uniform, and for the first time this episode, we see Erica flummoxed. How embarrassing! Erica, of course, has no idea that Lisa is a V.

Joshua is walking Dale through an environment constructed from the memories they found in his brain. It’s the FBI offices. With Joshua’s prodding, Dale recalls living among the humans as a sleeper V: It was smelly, crowded and disgusting. Dale recalls that he was not the only V at the bureau, confirming our suspicions that there are more we’ve yet to meet. Finally, Dale remembers it was Erica that cracked him open and vows to kill her.

But not so fast! Joshua remarks that Erica will make a wonderful ally, as a surprised Dale experiences the illusion falling to pieces around him. “The Fifth Column says hello,” Joshua tells him as he plunges a needle into Dale’s arm, presumably killing him. Yay! for more Fifth Column, but fans were already upset at the thought that Alan Tudyk might not return. Is this the first will-he-or-won’t-he-be-back cliffhanger of the fall season?

Georgie finds FJ and the two empathize with each other, while FJ encourages him to help mount the resistance. Georgie’s still not sure – he’s been there and done that, and “they crush us every time.” Georgie’s obviously a tortured soul; I hope we’re going to get more backstory.

Anna rehearses her sympathy speech for Widow Mary; what a great scene for Morena Baccarin! She plays it with such a serious earnestness it’s almost comical. Anna even manages a tear, just in time to meet the Widow and convince her that hope and trust are the keys to healing. Mary says as much to the protesters gathered outside, while the world and the media watch. It’s a feel-good speech, almost a standard for politicians or anyone encouraging tolerance and understanding: what we share is far greater, yada yada. Anna follows up with assurances that the V’s will not seek revenge for the assassination attempt.

Chad, of course, will get the exclusive interview with Widow Mary. We haven’t seen much of Chad this week, other than commentary about events taking place. I hope he gets a little more screen time before the end of this fall block – it’s been hard to get a read on the character. I’d like to think there’s some depth there. As Chad reports on the events of the day being a PR coup for the V’s, we see Anna thank the assassin – she staged the whole thing! I wonder if Marcus knows it?

Our shaky resistance meets – Georgie, Erica, FJ and Ryan. Such a small group and such a monumental task before them!

The final scene has one more reveal coming – Lisa is Anna’s daughter! Nice to see the V’s don’t eat their young. “Tyler’s the one,” Lisa tells her, leaving us wondering just what’s in store for the Evans family in the future.

Next week’s teaser – the fall finale – makes that episode look as action-packed as this one. Without spoiling too much, it appears as though the writers were very intuitive; the plot could play on the real-life borderline hysteria over the flu vaccine controversies. Now they’re going to have to leave viewers with the perfect combination of enough information to care about what happens next and enough questions unanswered that we have a reason to tune in next March. Feel free to add your theories and thoughts in the comments.

It’s A Small World After All Disclaimer: I discovered last week that Executive Producer and Writer Scott Peters went to university with my brother-in-law – Comm. Studies, which happens to be what my own daughter is currently studying at the same university. Nice to see a local boy done good!

When not leading the Resistance, Shelley blogs at Once I Was A Writer

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V Episode 3: A Bright New Day
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The encore dance is, unsurprisingly, Mya & Dmitry doing their Salsa. It earned a perfect 30, and we once again get to see why. I always secretly hope someone falls down during the encore dance, but my secret hopes are always dashed. They’re just as awesome, and get a huge standing ovation.

It’s time for recaps of last night. We find out that Kelly’s Rumba solo was almost completely improvised because she forgot her choreography, and they were concerned about top-poppage in her yellow dress. Joanna savored comments from the judges. Donny suffered Dressgate 2009, but came back with two great dances. Mya slaughtered all three dances and got Len to remark not once, but TWICE about her posterior.

Who’s going home? Find out after the cut, and 50 more minutes of filler.

Time to begin the elimination! Right now! Only 9 minutes in! Delightful. The first space in the finals is going to … wait for it … tension fills the room … the first finalist … will be revealed shortly. Well punked, Bergeron.

Our first real burst of filler is a dance number from the upcoming movie Nine. It’s all sexy and sultry and dirty and goes on 50% too long, just like all dance numbers in musicals. In the end, the dancers all flop down on the ground in the shape of the number 9. How awkward, having two movies coming out in the same season, one named Nine and one named 9. They should have called each other. Commercials, then it’s more filler — this time, a performance by Alicia Keys. Her outfit is a frightful mix of leather jacket, pleather tights, and thigh-high teal suede boots. The song is decent, I guess, but Keys isn’t my personal bag. One thing’s for sure — it’s miles better than the Ballas/Hough number. But then again, my cats sound better than Ballas/Hough.

The next filler is a … music video? Of the celebrities poorly lip-synching to “Under Pressure”. Donny is the only one who can really act at all. It ends with a shot of a pair of high-heeled shoes on fire, and the smoke coming off of those babies looks pretty toxic. Afterward, Bergeron comments that pressure clearly doesn’t improve lip-synching skills.

Finally, 27 minutes in, some results. The two highest-scoring couples, Mya & Dmitry and Joanna & Derek, are called to the front of the stage. First off, Mya & Dmitry are sent to the finals. Dmitry seems even more excited than Mya. Joanna & Derek are told that they’ll find out their fate later.

After a break, Leona Lewis performs. While standing on a glassy pedestal in the middle of a sea of fog, surrounded by dancing men. It’s like that dream I had the other night. Oh, here come some women to dance as well. Still, pretty cool. The song, as usual, is available in the “music lounge” on the ABC site. Smart.

We move straight into more results — our remaining two couples, Kelly & Louis and Donny & Kym, stand on the band stage to find out their fate. The next couple in the finals is … Donny & Kym!

Next up, the two remaining Bee Gees will perform while Melissa Rycroft and Tony Dovolani (last season’s third-place finishers and supposed “fan favorites”) will join with other pros to dance the hustle. It’s the 50th anniversary of the Bee Gees, and they’re giving us “You Should Be Dancing”. The judges are on their feet. The crowd, likewise. My husband is of the opinion that the Bee Gees always sound like they’re being scalded with boiling water. Which is kind of true, but I still think they’re grand. Rycroft isn’t as good as the pros, but she has a great lift at the end. She’s barefoot, which makes her stand out all the more against the shoe-wearing professional women she’s dancing near.

The next package is about how the pros put together the dance numbers for the results shows. There’s bickering, and tomfoolery, but they always seem to come together as a team and create great dances. Sometimes the wardrobe department has to create up to 120 costumes per week. Now that’s seriously hardcore.

We’re 50 minutes in, and supposedly we’re returning to the elimination. With 10 minutes left? I’m not falling for this stuff again, Bergeron. Ah, yes … the eliminated contestants will be revealed … after these message. Cue a massive commercial break, and finally it’s 55 past the hour, and time to find out our final finalist. Will it be Kelly, the goofball who still makes mistakes galore but has the brightest smile in the room? Or will it be Joanna, who gets good scores but some people still think she’s a big emotionless block of wood? On this ninth week of competition, the couple leaving tonight is … Joanna & Derek. What! I’m so delighted! I just like Kelly so much more.

Because we have that kind of time, Joanna & Derek will dance their Viennese Waltz again instead of doing the standard shuffling junior-high-grade last dance while the credits roll. “Hallelujah” is just as creepy and plodding as it was last night.

So there we have our finalists. Mya the high-scorer, Donny the entertainer, and Kelly the giddy-bubbly-smiler. Next week: freestyle dancing, and the mirrorball trophy finds a new home. I can’t wait!

Missy normally wears her 120 costumes per week over at themissy.com.

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Dancing with the Stars: Week 9 Results
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Once more down the staircase, and once again, Trumpet Guy goes totally insane. The stage looks practically empty with our remaining four couples lined up. Tonight everyone will perform three full routines: two fresh dances, one of which will have a 15-second solo, and the knockout dance they’ve been working on for weeks.

Donny & Kym – Tango – Kym brings Gilles Marini into rehearsal — he got tens in his Tango last season. His big advice is apparently to make the audience uncomfortable by the end. Um, what? Donny makes Kym uncomfortable during rehearsal, then reiterates that he wants to make everyone uncomfortable. With his passion, I guess? This is the weirdest thing. I tell you what, Kym’s dress is what’s making me uncomfortable. How painful is that, having your lady lumps squashed and mashed like that! Donny’s wearing a gold lamé jacket and black gloves, dancing to a song I’m guessing is called “Black and Gold” (due to the repetition of the words “black and gold” throughout). Their Tango is decent, don’t get me wrong. But it looks like there are a few stumbles, and they’re not in close enough contact, and it’s overall just not that exciting. Nor do I feel uncomfortable. Plus Kym has what looks like a torn bit of dress hanging down. After the dance, Donny sits on the floor and covers his face, then raises his fists and growls at the heavens. Len says it wasn’t as good as the Argentine Tango recently, and Donny blames it on seeing Marie in the crowd. Bruno is sad that Donny didn’t cover up his mistakes as well as usual. Carrie Ann missed the drama and the light and shade, but gives him props for finishing. We get to see the torn dress backstage, and Donny kicks himself some more. Scores: 7-7-7 for a chicken dinner.

Joanna & Derek -Viennese Waltz – In rehearsal, Derek gets frustrated like crazy. So Brooke Burke comes in to teach Joanna how to deal with his punky attitude. Then Brooke and Joanna share a cheek-kiss, to which Derek gets all eyebrow-raisy. Okay, NOW I’m uncomfortable. Their dance gets the extra-special set pieces of long, flowing curtains. They’re dancing to Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah”, which just makes me think of that adorable dreadlocked Jason Castro on American Idol. (Clearly, I watch far too much reality TV.) They start with a couple of nice spin tricks, although at one point Joanna’s feet look like a couple of delicate blocks of wood. The waltzing itself is decent, but a couple of times she shuffles her feet and it isn’t terribly elegant. They get a big standing ovation from the audience. Bruno says the dance had the grace of angels in heaven, but then calls out her hesitation. Carrie Ann loves how Joanna has grown, gives the dance love, but then tells her to work on the reaching. Len compliments her hold and posture, as well as the choreography, but calls out a couple of “peculiar” moments. Scores: 9-9-9 for 27.

Kelly & Louis – Rumba – Before rehearsals start, Kelly learns that one of the tiny cute puffball dogs she was looking after passed away. So she’s weepy, but still plugs along. She’s quiet and concentrating and working hard, and in a way it feels wrong. I’m used to the flighty, bubbly Kelly. The dance starts out really well, if you put aside the fact that Louis is kind of a weird lecherous leathery guy and Kelly’s so young and they’re dancing the super-romantic dance of romance. Since this is their Latin dance, Kelly has to do a 15-second solo. It’s not terrible, but it’s not that fabulous either; I think she got a tough style for a solo, since there isn’t a lot of the typical Latin dance bootyshaking or showboating in the Rumba. Louis comes back, and the dance ends with a fabulous difficult-looking move. Sharon Osbourne is applauding like mad, and the crowd is back on its feet. Carrie Ann tells Kelly she has a magical quality that reaches into her heart and brings her to tears. Len won’t be as “airy-fairy” as Carrie Ann, then says this wasn’t one of her best, but it certainly wasn’t her worst. Bruno wants to see a relentless sense of eroticism in the Rumba, which he didn’t get from this dance (good, says I), but commends the poses and figures. Scores: 8-8-8 for 24.

Mya & Dmitry – Waltz – They make up “boot camp” rules for rehearsals. They’ve also set up a tent in the rehearsal studio, to make us believe they’re sleeping there in order to squeeze in as much dance time as possible. Riiiight. They start their Waltz with Mya held in Dmitry’s arms, then proceed to tear up the dance floor, Waltz style. It’s a great dance, full of smooth loveliness, until the last few seconds when it looks like Mya’s toe comes off the floor during a lift (although her skirts are hiding her feet), and they have a tiny hiccup getting unwound from each other. Of course, they get a standing O (Will every dance get one?) for their effort. Len loves it for romance, elegance, movement, and control. Bruno calls it “love set to music” and absolutely loved it. Carrie Ann says she enjoyed it, but thought they were slightly not connected in the hold. No word about the maybe-lift. Scores: 9-9-10 for 28, although Bruno’s tie covers the 0 and it looks for a moment like he gives her an 11. Or a 1.

Donny & Kym – Samba – The second round will have, instead of rehearsal footage, little packages about how the stars became stars. We see Donny through his time with the Osmonds, then the Donny & Marie show, and then there’s awesome interview footage of Stevie Wonder in front of Sleeping Beauty Castle at Disneyland. Also, the two of Donny’s sons who are interviewed don’t look like brothers. At all. For their dance, they’re both slathered in sparkles. It’s maybe a little slow for the Samba, and it has its tiny problems, but Donny seems to be having a lot more fun than in his previous dance. His solo is all right, and after they’re done, he’s much happier. Bruno calls it effortless, carefree, and fun. Carrie Ann felt it was better than the other dance, but it felt a little sloppy and small. Len agrees with Bruno. Scores: 8-9-9 for 26.

Joanna & Derek – Cha Cha Cha – Joanna was born in Poland, and moved to Chicago at age 5. Her mother busted rear to raise her girls. Joanna moved to Los Angeles at age 20 to become a model. Also, she has a super-hunky fiancé. And Hugh Hefner has great things to say about her — did you know she’s going to be the December cover girl on Playboy? Neither did I. She starts the dance with her solo, up on the band stage shaking her fringe trousers. She joins up with Derek, and they proceed to Cha. Her legs and hips are moving well, but there’s something weird about her arms. They seem oddly stiff, and she’s not fully extending when she should. For the last few bars of the song, she mouths the words, which is extra weird. Carrie Ann loves how Joanna can go from elegant to wild. Len wants it to be a little bit more cheeky, but calls it lovely. Bruno tells her she’s “natural sex”. Scores: 9-9-9 for 27 (again).

Kelly & Louis – Quick Step – Kelly grew up in England, where a teacher refers to her as “very polite, but she always spoke her mind.” She spent time touring with Ozzy as a kid and learned to be resilient, but the 2000 MTV reality show (and the negative reactions to her) drove her to drugs. But now she’s on her way up and out, and Sharon and Ozzy couldn’t be prouder. They’re dancing to “99 Red Balloons”, which delights me. She looks so much more fit than when she started the show, especially in this dress. There are some timing problems between them, and a little flub at the end, but overall it’s a good dance. My biggest problem is that she only has two facial expressions: concentrating really hard, and grinning like a goofball. Another standing O, and it’s over to the judges. Len says there are two people he knows are happy: Kelly’s mum, and himself. The dance was totally beyond his expectations. Bruno compares her to Speedy Gonzales, and calls her a twinkling, twinkling star. Carrie Ann cheers Kelly, and calls the dance amazing and fabulous. Kelly, in tears, thanks the judges for all of their help. Man, she seems like a nice kid. Scores: 9-9-9 for 27, her highest score ever.

Mya & Dmitry – Salsa – She was born and raised in the Washington, D.C. area. She was a tap dancer all through school, but wasn’t confident enough to sing for her parents until she was a teen. She had her first big single right when her parents were getting divorced and her mom got cancer. Wowsers, that’s a mixed bag of emotion. Their Salsa begins with the tiniest bit of theatrics — she unbuttons his jacket, under which he’s wearing no shirt. They’re shaking and shimmying to a sped-up version of “La Isla Bonita”, and her solo is jam-packed with excellent bootyshaking. Do I smell tens? Bruno stands up and shouts SEN-SA-TION-AL at them. Carrie Ann calls the solo amazing and difficult and amazing. Len channels crazy inappropriate Bruno, first saying “tutti frutti, what a booty,” then moving on to “I was mesmerized by your buttocks.” Scores: 10-10-10 for her second perfect score.

The third dance of the night will be the knockout dance that all couples prepared in case they had to dance for their lives on the double-elimination nights. We get a package of them all building and rehearsing their dances — they were allowed to choose their own styles and music. These will be the same short length as we saw during the dance-offs in previous weeks. Off we go!

Donny & Kym – Jitterbug – Finally, we get to see these sparkly green costumes in action. The dance is packed with energy, and showy as heck, but as usual with Donny, there are little errors here and there, and a few problems with staying in synch with Kym. But overall, it’s a fun routine. Carrie Ann tells him he needed this dance to be good … and it was! Len calls the dance another winner. Bruno agrees, calling it upbeat and full of vigor. Scores: 9-9-9 for 27, giving them a total of 74 out of 90 for the night.

Joanna & Derek – Salsa – Ooh, right after Mya gets a perfect 30 for a Salsa. Tough stuff. She’s either wearing a lower heel, or dancing kind of flat-footed. But she can really shimmy and shake, and they get some good moves in their short dance. Len compares these routines to little hors d’oeuvres, and calls this one hot, tasty, and full of spice. Bruno chimes in, calling the dance delicious and flirtatious, then blows kisses. Carrie Ann calls it excellent, and says she’d love to see Joanna in the finals. Scores: 9-9-9 for 27, giving them a total of 81 out of 90 for the night (although it sounds like Samantha says their score is 71).

Kelly & Louis – Cha Cha Cha – They’re dancing to “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”, and it’s cute and light, but doesn’t seem all that difficult. And it feels shorter than the other knockout dances so far. But there’s no stumbling and no missed steps, so that’s good. Bruno gets his creepiness back, declaring: “It might have been a quickie, but it worked for me.” Then he compliments her precision and timing. Carrie Ann compliments how she completed her hand movements every time. Len says she did all three dances to a very high level. Scores: 9-9-9 for 27, giving them a total of 78 out of 90 for the night.

Mya & Dmitry – Cha Cha Cha – Another really short one, danced to that song about a fire burning on the dance floor. But the dance doesn’t really set me on fire — I’ve seen much better out of these two. I don’t know what it is. There’s plenty of bootyshaking, some nice moves … I’m just not amazed. Carrie Ann loves the hip action and the tricks, but something didn’t do it for her. Len starts by telling Bergeron how he hates Bruno yelling in his ear. Then he says he was disappointed … that it wasn’t a longer dance. Bruno leans forward and shouts something about it being an action-packed feature. Scores: 9-10-10 for 29, giving them a total of 87 out of 90 for the night. That’s impressive.

Tomorrow: Alicia Keys! Leona Lewis! The two remaining Bee Gees! Oh, and an elimination. We’re getting into the time of the competition where viewer votes can really have a huge impact — both Mya and Joanna have been doing so well with the judges, we don’t really know how the viewers have been voting. What with Donny and Kelly being so popular, it’s anybody’s guess as to who’s going home tomorrow. All I know is, I’ll be there. With bells on!

Missy usually leaves her bells over at themissy.com.

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Dancing with the Stars: Week 9 Performances
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But perhaps the plot this week is a reflection of how it usually is in times of sweeping crisis or change – hurry up and wait. Initial enthusiasm and excitement quickly gives way to the need-some-time-to process-this reality of most things in life.

And indeed, our heroes, at least, need some time to process all that they’ve experienced since the Visitors came calling. It provides some convenient filler while the question of the episode is decided: Will the US agree to diplomatic relations with the Visitors or not?

The episode starts exactly where we left off last week. Father Jack and Erica’s take-a-breath moment outside the warehouse is interrupted by the arrival of another one of those creepy Visitor vehicles containing the V clean-up team. Erica dials 911 from a handy payphone. Is it common, in an industrial area of Brooklyn to find a working payphone? In my experience with trying to find a payphone in that type of area, that’s about as likely as reptilian aliens dropping in for lunch. Oh, right.

Erica’s attempt shows us just how far-reaching the invasion really is: the call goes right to Visitor Central, and another one of those orb-things quickly pinpoints our heroes’ location. That’s what I call a smart bomb. The address of the warehouse, 4400 Pier Avenue makes a nice eyewink to Joel Gretsch, who plays Father Jack and V’s executive producer Scott Peters.

Consumed with a new mistrust for everything that walks, a nerve-wracked Erica makes it home in one piece, begs her son to avoid the Visitors (too late Erica!) and struggles through the next day or so to maintain the façade. We can tell that Erica is trying to hold it together as she answers the FBI’s questions about Dale’s disappearance; she’s impatient, hostile, and having a hard time making eye contact. In fact, her upset is so obvious, I wonder why none of the FBI can see it. For an FBI agent, she’s a terrible liar.

Meanwhile, FJ has a visit from the FBI – the Visitor Threat Assessment Joint Task Force, to be exact. Inquiring minds want to know about the guy who bled all over the pews. Seems he’s on the FBI’s weirdo list for claiming the presence of aliens on earth. FJ claims ignorance, then wonders if he’s done the right thing. “Don’t upset the apple cart,” warns his senior (if this character has a name, I haven’t caught it yet).

FJ, of course, decides to do just that. He brings the mysterious photos to the VTAJTF, where he promptly bumps into Erica. “You’re an FBI agent?” he asks. “You’re a freakin’ priest?” she fires back. Having believed six impossible things before breakfast (thank you Lewis Carroll), I wonder why they’re both so incredulous.

In the hallway the two argue, which seems to be an alarming disregard for discretion and secrecy. With the lizards having infiltrated the FBI, I don’t think I’d be comfortable having that conversation in the middle of an empty field in Kansas, let alone the FBI’s hallway. FJ defends his actions, and Erica hisses (almost snake-like) “What part of don’t trust anyone do you not understand?”

Chad is having morning-after regrets about his interview with Anna. His assistant reassures him that trading ethics for access isn’t so bad. But Chad holds himself responsible for the Visitors static poll numbers. Perhaps there’s a way he can turn the tide – and show Anna who’s boss. He broadcasts an interview debating “Do the Visitors deserve our trust?” Anna’s creepy-silent sidekick calls him on it, and he and Chad exchange barbed comments. Chad is unapologetic, however. “I can’t control my government, but I can influence public opinion,” he states. Since the poll numbers tick upwards after his debate, we have to believe him, and so does Anna. Chad’s not as loyal to the Visitors as they’d like to think – but I don’t he think he’s that loyal to humanity either. In C.S. Lewis’ The Last Battle, as Narnia faces its end and the battle lines are drawn, there’s a line: the dwarfs are for the dwarfs. Chad’s looking out for number one, which he’ll likely regret in the end.

Does Val really believe that a 7 inch bandage is necessary for a “scratch” on Ryan’s arm? For a psychotherapist she doesn’t ask a lot of questions. Ryan connects with Angelo, a Visitor traitor like himself. Their conversation lets us in on the news that this invasion is ahead of schedule. Angelo takes out his magic glue gun to fix Ryan’s arm and then drugs him. When Ryan comes to, Angelo’s gone, only to resurface as a phone call once Ryan’s returned home – leave Val, or she’s gonna get hurt.

There’s a writing rule that says if you show a gun in your first scene, it better be going off by the end of your book. Angelo’s revelation that he, and presumably “they” know about Val’s heart condition is a dead giveaway that the heart condition is going to matter later.

Visitor Barbie Lisa and Tyler share a moment through the fence. He shows her pics of his bike, clearly the thing that’s been most important to him until now. She takes the iPod – the Visitors have holographic technology and fly spaceships, but somehow she’s not sure how to work an iPod? and snaps a pic of herself, then shows it to Tyler. Which is the point at which the producers lost all credibility with my 13-year-old who shouted, “She wasn’t smiling when she clicked and she is in the picture!?” Perhaps, like vampires not showing up in photographs, this will become part of V’s mythology –any picture taken will make them look happy and innocent.

Tyler asks Lisa out – once she’s allowed out, that is. He struggles with the proper human/alien interaction etiquette: “Do you know what pizza is?” I’m not sure of the wording, but I found myself flashing back to 1983, when human teenager Robin Maxwell first hooked up with Visitor Youth Leader Brian. I could swear there was a similar exchange. Déjà vu all over again!

Later, Lisa gives Tyler the cold shoulder for making the Visitors look bad after engaging in fisticuffs with a protester. Poor Tyler, totally smitten, and terribly confused. Looks like reptile females are just as hard for teenage boys to figure out as human females.

Erica has outed Dale – kinda. She’s convinced her boss Paul that Dale was a suspected traitor, and her intercepted 911 call is proof. Now how were the Visitors, with all their technology, supposed to know that the DEA was monitoring calls too? Or is Paul’s explanation of how he obtained the recording an attempt to cover up Visitor infiltration? My kids are now playing Spot the Visitor while watching – so far, they think FJ’s priest buddy is a V, the Task Force investigator is a V and possibly Chad’s assistant. This will add some sport to future watching – there may even be small monetary wagers.

And what’s been going on sky-side all this time? Our lovely Anna is being as lovely as ever; she flicks through a holographic wardrobe while searching for the appropriate costume to express gratitude and peace. It must be nice to have an alternative to throwing the contents of your closet all over the bedroom while you try on everything you own. Anna doesn’t say much or do much in this episode – or the first episode, come to think of it – and I still find the character decidedly unsettling. You can see some expression of disdain towards her assistant and his failure to understand humanity, but other than that, even when she’s pissed about Chad’s interview, there’s very little apparent emotion. She’s got spunk though, hanging up abruptly when Chad tries to parlay her gratitude into a further dialogue.

And what’s she grateful for? The US has indeed agreed to diplomatic relations, allowing the Visitors freedom of movement within its borders. We’re told early in the episode that some other countries have already done so, but it’s the US that’s the linchpin – and Anna knows it. This lizard is one smart cookie!

In addition to nifty holograms, the Visitors have scary ones too. The “only human we recovered alive” from the warehouse is lying on a giant cake plate, being tortured by snakes only he can see. Again, this is a nice nod to the original – in 1983, the Visitor conversion chamber featured the ability to exploit the victim’s biggest fear so that he would reach out to Diana for help. The next guy-on-a-cake-plate scene appears to be a patched-up Dale. Last week, online fans were aghast that Alan Tudyk’s character was killed off so quickly – looks like he’ll be back after all.

FJ and Erica meet again after the announcement from the US government. Between a priest who curses and an FBI agent who steals confidential files, there is definitely no normal anymore. But they’re going to fight! They’ll start with the weirdo list, since apparently, there’s NO security in the FBI office and you can just “swipe” whatever you need. I knew someone that got fired for taking a stapler home once.

Our last scene shows Ryan, his arm healing nicely, and Val, getting cozy. Val notices a picture on the mantle is upside down; when she flips it over, a note with a name and address falls out: Cyrus, 51509 Gibbs Avenue. This is Ryan’s clue that someone has “visited” him; perhaps next week we’ll find out if it’s friend or foe.

The annoying habit of referring to the Visitors as “Vs” has almost disappeared in this episode –the term is not used until just a few minutes before the episode ends. I see that as a good sign. However, the writing felt off and poorly organized, making me wonder if this is the point where the producers decided on the retooling that’s still to come. Surprisingly, I kept referring in my notes to “Juliet” and I couldn’t figure out why, when I was so impressed with the character of Erica last week. I think it was the first scene this week that set me off. “Go home Jack.” Every time she said “Jack,” I saw Mitchell as Juliet in Lost. And either her acting this week was really, really bad or the writing was. Cool, composed, good-in-a-crisis Erica seems to have turned into a bundle of nerves. This is the resistance leader?

So, after two of four, there seems to be little predictability when it comes to pacing, writing and acting. Maybe it’s fairer to say: There is no normal yet. If last week’s episode was an A- than this week it’s closer to a C+.

When not leading the resistance, Shelley can be found at Once I Was A Writer

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“V” Episode 2: There is no normal anymore
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Joanna and Derek, clearly the producers’ favorite, are given the encore performance even though Mya and Dmitry scored a perfect 30 last night. And so, we relived everyone’s favorite decade, The Future. The Future is less styled tonight, presumably because The Future has other things to do later.

Here are the current standings:

4th place – Aaron and Karina & Donny and Kym (50)

3rd place – Kelly and Louis (51)

2nd place – Joanna and Derek (52)

1st place – Mya and Dmitry (59)

Come on. And they really couldn’t have the encore? Kicking off the eliminations, Joanna and Derek were quickly sent to safety.

Michael Buble is on deck to set the mood and be wonderful. I love the new single, I love him, this was probably my favorite musical performance all season. Backstage, Joanna says her secret to the semifinals is to “eat more food.” Uh, if you say so. More importantly, Mya and Dmitry are safe! I am so excited to see them rock the semifinals next week. And you know they’re gonna rock it.

In other news, America went crazy and decided that out of a cornucopia of past DWTS celebs, Cheetah Girl Sabrina Bryan was the one who should be brought back to dance again. Really, America? Sabrina Bryan over Mel B? In this “Design-a-Dance” extravaganza, we’ll get to see what dance, costume, and song selection viewers picked for her.  She was selected to dance a paso doble to “Eye of the Tiger” dressed as Chester Cheeto. Guys, it’s the Rocky soundtrack. Stop taking things so literally.

Then Michael Buble came back to bring some much-needed class to the ballroom, and he went ahead and did “Feelin’ Good,” my favorite Buble tune, and then I got all starry-eyed and mesmerized by the fact that Dolph Lundgren has a doppelganger and he’s a professional ballroom dancer. Who was that couple? If you know, shout it out in the comments.

Besides me and Buble, Donny and Kym are feelin’ good, because they’re safe, leaving Aaron/Karina and Kelly/Louis in the bottom two.

As if Buble wasn’t enough, YouTube star and angel Susan Boyle took the stage to belt out her famous “I Dreamed a Dream.” Oh SuBo, I watched you sing that song a zillion times (yes, I’m one of those people), and you still give me chills every. single. time.

And get ready to giggle, because DanceCenter is back! Of all the results show time-fillers, DanceCenter is by far my favorite. Notable quotes:

“Polish girls are hot.” – Len Goodman (re: Joanna)

“How old is this guy anyway? He acts like he’s three years old on sugar.” – Kenny Mayne (re: Donny)

“It’s a stupid TV show about dancing, what are you crying about it for?” – Kenny Mayne (re: Aaron, duh)

“You’ve got the hair of a hooligan, you’ve got the attitude of a hooligan” – Len Goodman (re: Kenny)

Noteworthy: Donny and Bruno have a “platonic celebrity slash judge relationship.” Interpret that as you will.

Finally, it’s game time. The lights came down, the scary music came on, and Aaron Carter was sent packing. It’s not surprising, but it does make for an interesting top four: Donny Osmond, Joanna Krupa, Kelly Osbourne, and Mya. Next week it’s four couples, three routines each, and a whole buncha dancing. Squee!

When she’s not crooning along to Michael Buble, The Disney Chick can be found at www.thedisneychick.com.

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Dancing with the Stars: Week Eight Results
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Ballroom Round:

Mya and Dmitry Chaplin - Quickstep: Mya and Len have come to the conclusion that the judges are full of nonsense and they should continue doing they best they can to please the viewers. Wise. Mya’s dancing was, as usual, clean, classy, and seemingly critique-proof. But for the first time in eight weeks, Len liked their performance! His Grumpiness said he couldnt find anything wrong with it, Bruno compared their dance to fine champagne, and Carrie Ann said they were perfectly in sync. Scores: 9-10-10.

Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff - Foxtrot: Aaron claims he has never won anything in his life. Say what, pop star? What about all the tweenage hearts you’ve won over the years? Poor Karina has the flu, and they both rehearse with masks as though a face mask will prevent the spread of the ballroom plague. As if the flu wasn’t bad enough, Karina is made to wear sparkly pink goucho pants. The foxtrot tends to be more of a fun, old-Hollywood style dance, and this routine was a more contemporary version. For me, it was lacking in the pop! the foxtrot usually has. Bruno said Aaron’s dancing was tense, Carrie Ann called out a lift, and Len said he was proud but …. so that doesn’t bode well. Scores: 7-8-8.

Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough - Quickstep: Derek had the ballroom plague the last time Joanna had the quickstep. The producers have assigned Joanna and Mya the same dance, so instead of focusing on Joanna’s technique, they waste their rehearsal time watching Mya’s footage. Eyes on your own paper! Their routine started with what Len would term “messing about” and continued to be marked by Joanna’s sloppy arms and horrendous feet (It’s week eight – she should have learned to point her toes by now). I found this incredibly painful to watch, and thankfully Carrie Ann called her out for those feet, Len said it wasn’t up to quarterfinals standards, and Bruno said it wasn’t one of her best. Scores: 8-7-8.

Kelly Osbourne and Louis Van Amstel – Foxtrot: Kelly hasn’t had a ballroom dance since week one – how is that possible? And ohmigod Kelly’s dogs are so cute can I have them please? I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on rehearsals either, if I had all that adorableness in the room. And hey, when did Kelly get so good? This was an awesome routine for her and her personality really came out to shine. All of the judges praised her grace and charm but said she needed to work on her footwork. Scores: 8-8-9.

Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson – Viennese Waltz: No other couple is doing the Viennese Waltz tonight, so Donny doesn’t have to worry about besting anyone. This was a sweet, light, sophisticated waltz. Really, truly lovely, like the perfect wedding dance.  Bruno called him the ultimate entertainer, Carrie Ann said she was mesmerized, and Len said there was too much fluffy stuff. Scores: 9-8-9.

Latin Round: To show everyone how it’s done, out come the professionals … including a couple I don’t recognize. Could these guys be practicing for next season?

Mya and Dmitry Chaplin - Samba: In case Dmitry’s mustache didn’t tip you off, they were assigned the 70’s. Beep beep! Awesome samba time! This was fun, exciting, and appropriately cheesy – 70’s cheesy, not Ian Ziering cheesy. Carrie Ann said she now believes Mya is in it to win it, Len said she was on fire, and Bruno “sang” Ain’t No Mountain High Enough. Who’s going to the finals? Mya is! Scores: 10-10-10. First 30 of the season!

Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff - Samba: Aaron has the 90’s, which is appropriate, since that’s the last time he was famous. He attempts to teach Karina 90’s dancing (is there even such a thing?); Karina becomes confused. And guess what? Those moves look as lame now as they did in the 90’s. The samba parts in this routine were great, although Aaron is still going overboard with his arms. Len said they sold it, Bruno said his energy was put to good use, and Carrie Ann called him a great performer. Scores: 9-9-9.

Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough - Paso Doble: Is “the future” a decade? Let’s say no. Joanna and Derek have the 2000’s, and apparently I missed the part in this past decade where we looked like extras from The Fifth Element. In the future, Joanna’s legs are still a mess and Derek is a David Bowie Halloween costume. The choreography was very cool, but was it a paso doble? Meh. Bruno called it a masterful reinvention, Carrie Ann called out a stumble, and Len called it genius. I think the judges were overly dazzled by the great choreography and overlooked a lot of Joanna’s shortcomings. Scores: 9-10-10.

Kelly Osbourne and Louis Van Amstel - Jive: These guys have the 60’s, and they took a mod approach to the routine. Cuteness! Kelly needs to watch out for sometimes-flailing arms, but this was a fun, groovy, clean dance. The rag doll prop was a little weird (not that it was the first time there’s been doll-related weirdness on this show – *cough Marie Osmond cough*). Len called her a revelation, Bruno yelled “come back to daddy!” and Carrie Ann called it one of her best performances. Scores: 8-9-9.

Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson – Paso Doble: There were a couple of ways they could have taken their 80’s look – Sid & Nancy punk, Dirty Dancing romance, or Brat Pack adorable. In the end, Crazy 80’s won out. All that was missing from their costumes was a Flock of Seagulls hairdo for Donny. Remember that doll weirdness I just *cough* mentioned? It was like that, but with more smoke. And fake mutton chops. Len called it crazy, Bruno said it had more camp than something having to do with drag queens, and Carrie Ann called it over the edge and insane. Understatement. Scores: 8-8-8.

Big happenings tomorrow night – we find out which four couples are in the semifinals. I’m thinking tonight was Aaron’s last stand, assuming America isn’t too traumatized to vote for Donny. Plus: Susan Boyle is the musical guest! Be sure to check back here for the full recap.

When she’s not spinning right round baby right round, The Disney Chick can be found at www.thedisneychick.com.

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Dancing with the Stars: Week Eight Performances
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It seems like we’ve been waiting forever, but the Visitors finally showed up last night with the premiere of V, ABC’s newest sci-fi offering.

The episode opened with an attempt to make it personal – captions reading “Where were you when JFK was assassinated? Where were you on 9/11?” led into “Where were you this morning?” So right off the bat, anyone who has not seen any advance info about this show is going to know – something big’s about to happen.

Tuesday, 6:30 a.m. Having asked “Where were you?” the first block shows us where (and who) our main players are. FBI Agent Erica Evans (Elizabeth Mitchell) awakens to her house shaking. She finds her son Tyler (Logan Huffman) is not in his bed and gets him on the cell, to find he’s in the ER, and barely feeling bad about it. This theme is going to play strong on this show – Erica wants to protect her son, but he’s not going to make it easy for her.

Newsman Chad Decker (Scott Wolf) is showering and heading into work. Ryan Nicholls (Morris Chestnut) is buying an engagement ring. Father Jack is opening the church doors. Val, Ryan’s girlfriend, is at home. It’s difficult to show simultaneous action on a TV show, and the pace felt a little off. We get a shaking water glass next to Erica right off the bat, but it’s several minutes before we see Val’s shaking coffee cup, FJ’s shaking light fixture, Ryan’s ring jumping around on the counter. Regardless, things start to shake, rattle and roll, and you can tell they’re not earthquake-savvy Californians – rather than run to the nearest doorway, Val seems to try to stop her bookshelves from falling over first.

In the street, Ryan does what so many of us have done since 9/11, what must be second-nature to New Yorkers by now – he looks to the sky to see what’s falling. The writers don’t disappoint – the fighter jet falling out of the sky gave me a lurch of déjà vu that was most unpleasant. Eight years later, and not even American, and I can recall the footage from 9/11 in a heartbeat. It brings a tear to my eye every time.

The giant Mother Ships darken the sky and all hell breaks loose. They could have saved some money by inserting footage from movies past – as one onscreen citizen put it, “This IS Independence Day.” And Deep Impact, and The Day After Tomorrow, and so many other running-from-the-end-of-the-world scenes. Conveniently placed TVs show newscasters reporting similar Mother Ships hovering over 29 major cities around the world.

The introduction of Visitors is very cool compared to the 1983 version (more on the comparison later). The bottom of the Mother Ships morphs into a giant movie-screen type thing. On the ground, we see Erica’s maternal “get behind my arm kid, I’ll protect you” gesture with Tyler. Erica’s a mother bear, through and through. And then, like a benevolent supreme being from on high, Anna’s smiling face gazes down on the planet.

Anna’s message is heard in the appropriate languages around the world, and it’s one of hope, promise, and reassurance. We need this, we’ll give you this in return. The actual wording seemed very close to what I remember from the 1983 miniseries, although one thing caught my notice – these Visitors are being upfront about taking the water. Twenty-five years ago, that was the big secret –they wanted to suck the planet dry. Here, they admit to wanting the water – so I’m wondering, what do they REALLY want? Anna winds up her message with a mantra that will be repeated throughout the episode: “We are of peace.”

The response is frightening – people in the street clap and cheer and issue a collective sigh of relief. We can’t even agree on how to share the water in the Great Lakes among North Americans, but hey, we’ll send the water skyward ‘cause you’re pretty and you’re promising better health care and better technology than an iPhone. Um, kay.

Wednesday. FJ and his co-priest (didn’t catch his name) are arguing about the Vatican’s declaration that the Visitors are God’s creatures. FJ is suspicious, but his senior reminds him they are there to minister to their congregation. FJ laments about their congregation of 4, but when the two of them enter the sanctuary, they’re floored to see a full house. Foxhole faith at its best – in times of crisis, everyone believes in God.

Erica talks with partner Dale on the phone; he’s wondering how she can focus on work at a time like this. “Visitors drop by for a drink,” she says. This is different. She’s noticed that terrorist chatter dropped like a stone when the Visitors arrived – all except one cell, which appears to be stockpiling C-4 explosives. On TV, we all watch Anna arrive at the UN, flirt with Chad and dismiss any critical inquiry from the rest of the media. From the look on Tyler’s face as he watches, he’s pretty close to drinking the Kool-Aid.

Chad is the first to use the term “V’s”. I don’t like it. It seems contrived and for us traditionalists, who remember that the spray-painted V stood for “Victory”, I think it’s going to be hard to get used to.

Three weeks later. Chad tells us from the news desk that cities with Mother Ships have become destinations – there’s a rise in tourism, V merchandise sales, etc. Whoo hoo – health care, technology AND jobs? These guys MUST be all right.

Erica’s got a lead on that chatty terrorist cell – one that brings her and Dale to an underground tunnel on Long Island, and straight to a dead guy, false documents and the C-4. Looks like someone tipped off the bad guys before Erica got there. Erica’s FBI outfit – particularly the baseball cap – just didn’t seem to fit on her. Like our famous Juliet from Lost, however, the girl knows how to posture with a gun.

Ryan’s getting mysterious phone calls from Georgie (David Richmond-Peck), and he’s trying to ignore them. “That’s not who I am anymore,” he insists. Val’s getting suspicious though.

Tyler and Brandon have scored a ride on the Magic Carpet – er, V transport craft – and head for a tour of the Mother Ship. There they meet V Lisa, who’s oh-so-pretty – like a really dangerous Barbie doll. “Join the Peace Ambassadors,” she pouts. Saving the world, hanging with pretty girls AND a cool uniform? Tyler’s hooked, and I’m not liking him very much right now.

FJ warns from the pulpit of the dangers of trusting too much too quickly. In spite of the nodding heads in the pews, his superior takes him to task for it. The V’s are doing good, they’re a blessing in disguise (oh, if only you knew!). But FJ warns with one of the best lines of the night: “Under the right conditions, gratitude can turn to worship. And worship can turn to devotion.”

The Meeting. Our principals are now on a collision course with each other. Erica and Dale execute another search, again to find their prey has eluded them. But there’s a clue! A text message giving directions to “a meeting.” FJ receives a bloody envelope from an injured parishioner with instructions to attend “a meeting.” And Georgie corners Ryan and begs him to attend “a meeting.” We know an awful lot must be going to happen at this meeting, since we’re moving into the last block of the episode.

Meanwhile, Chad has been handpicked to conduct a live interview with Anna to quell some of the protesting and reassure the Earthlings that “we are of peace.” Anna lets Chad know right up front – no negativity or the interview’s not happening. Chad struggles with his conscience, but his ego wins – he’ll play by the rules.

Scenes from the meeting are interspersed with scenes of Anna’s interview. While the Supreme V talks of discarding negativity and embracing change – and incidentally promises universal health care – Georgie informs those gathered of the V’s true nature. Meeting-goers are first required to prove they’re human through and through – gah. You have to be mighty brave, or scared, or both to say, “Sure, I’ll let you take a scalpel to me in this dark and dingy warehouse.” The V’s, Georgie claims, are responsible for the unease we were feeling when they arrived. The wars, the strife, the flat economy, they started it all. It’s classic manipulation – unsettle a population and then present yourself as their Savior. FJ provides the proof – photographs of Erica’s dead guy. She realizes her sleeper cell is a V cell.

Pandemonium ensues at the warehouse when a techy little orb zooms in and explodes. The scene is very dark – it’s hard to tell how many baddies there are, and what they look like. Erica’s partner has her in a chokehold and she brains him with an iron bar – hey, that’s not his own skin! He’s a V! While Erica’s fighting to save HER skin, we see her tormented teen is forging Mom’s signature so he can sign up with the Vs. Ingrate. Ryan appears to help save the day at the warehouse, and reveals to Georgie his own secret – he’s a V too. But he’s a good guy – a traitor to his own. There’s more like him, and they’re going to help the Earthmen fight back. Just as soon as he breaks up with Val. Which he later can’t bring himself to do – so now we know where the expected inter-species romance is going to come from.

The interview is over, and Anna’s creepy sidekick offers Chad a pep talk. Compromising one’s principles for the greater good is not shameful, it’s noble. Chad’s the lucky one – he’s going to be famous!

Later, Erica and FJ share a moment where they discuss the necessity of fighting this new evil. “They’ve got the most powerful weapon there is,” says Erica. “Devotion.” FJ looks terrified, but vindicated, at this echoing of his own words.

We end with the Visitors welcoming their new Peace Ambassadors, Tyler among them. “It’s the dawn of a new day,” the announcer says, as Anna watches it all with a satisfied smile.

The inevitable comparisons

It is impossible for anyone who watched the 1983 series to watch the new V without comparing it to the old. For large numbers of viewers, myself included, there were few surprises. I watched my daughter watch the reveal that lizards lurk under those pretty faces, and she seemed more grossed out than truly shocked. The scene just didn’t seem as dramatic as watching Jane Badler’s Diana unhinge her jaws and swallow a guinea pig. Perhaps the producers downplayed the reveal on purpose – we already knew, so why try to make it a big deal? And the “huge ships hovering over the major cities” has been done and redone so many times in various forms the last 20 years, even that didn’t seem to raise my kid’s eyebrows.

This series is much darker, literally, than the first V. The citizens of Earth seem downtrodden and desperate, the future is bleak – I don’t recall anything similar being implied when the 1983 Visitors invaded. In that sense, V gives us a clearer context of how the human race can be so susceptible to promises of hope. Special effects-wise, it’s been generally agreed that CGI and other modern film techniques have eliminated the cheesiness often seen in portrayals of aliens and outer space. But again, it’s dark – these Mother Ships are gray, metallic, cold. They look creepy – in 1983 they looked sleek and bright, lots of white, implying newness and innocence. But then, on the inside, where the original had a very utilitarian feel, these Mother Ships appear to house a paradise.

And I miss the red jumpsuits, dark glasses and forage caps – our new V’s uniforms all have similar lines to one another, and they’re all gray or subdued colors, but they don’t look alien or out-of-place. The alien-ness – the aversion to light, the vibration in voice – is gone. It’s been replaced with flat, unemotional responses and facial expressions. In Anna’s words, “We’ve learned to process emotion quickly and discard all negativity.” In some ways, that’s even more alien. Diana was a power-hungry bully, and prone to deadly temper tantrums, but she was also capable of embarrassment and frustration. Anna’s quiet satisfaction sends a chill up your spine, but you’re not sure you can explain why.

I think the comparisons will fall by the wayside quickly. The big secret (such as it was) was out by the end of the first episode. It’s clear that this is a “re-imagining” as opposed to a remake and now that we’ve met all the principals we can settle in for a great, character-driven show. I’m really wondering what the V’s are really after – across the universe is a long way to travel just to brainwash folks. What’s in it for them in the long run?

The other comparison

Elizabeth Mitchell as Erica Evans is going to rock. For most of the episode, I couldn’t help but think “Juliet” every time I saw her, (in fact, when she brained her partner with the bar I was all, “Go, Juliet.”) but that had pretty much faded by the second viewing. I loved the sarcasm when she was giving it to Tyler for his tagging, and she’s done a good job of letting us know that Erica has layers. I hope Mitchell gets the opportunity to expand on her portrayal of other emotions like frustration and fear – she’s got determination down pat. I didn’t like Lost’s Juliet until –ok, I admit it, I still don’t. But Erica’s becoming a fave.

Three more episodes ‘til the break. Like the summer romance you know is going to end when everyone goes back to school, it’s natural to resist getting too attached. As much as I’m liking V so far, I’m still holding back a little; but one more episode and I think I might be a bona fide fan.

When not leading the resistance, S. Divnich Haggert can be found at Once I Was A Writer.

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V: The Arrival – Episode Recap
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The question is can ABC sustain, or even grow, those numbers. There are just three more episodes before the series goes on hiatus until March (to avoid the Winter Olympics and American Idol). During that time, the show will get retooled. This week they added new show runner charged with speeding up the pace of the show.

USA Today talked with Elizabeth Mitchell about the show before last night’s premier.

Mitchell, who plays hero FBI agent Erica Evans, says the resulting changes merely speed the pace of storytelling to pack a bigger wallop, including big cliffhangers in the Nov. 24 episode. Filming on that episode is set to wrap today, giving actors another unexpected 10-week break as the show is retooled. (Mitchell will trek to Hawaii to shoot new Lost episodes.)

“They didn’t do anything different. They heightened it, they took it up,” she says. The changes are meant to recapture the big-event appeal that started V in a different era. “The idea is to make it a movie, something where we are on the edge of our seats, wondering what’s going to happen.”

From what I saw last night, “V” will make sci-fi geeks very happy even as LOST draws to a close.

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“V” Premiers big, Retooling still ahead
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This week Walt Disney Studios released Walt Disney Treasures DVDs featuring the complete first and second season of Zorro. All 78 episodes of the Disney TV classic are included on two new six-disc sets housed in collectible Zorro black, numbered unique tin cases. Both debut Walt Disney Treasures sets are hosted by noted film historian, author and critic Leonard Maltin. Additionally each limited edition, individually numbered volume includes a Zorro pin, an authenticity certificate, exclusive lithograph and comes in a unique, collectible black tin.

From 1957 to 1959, Disney’s Zorro was one of the most popular series on television starring Guy Williams, Henry Calvin, and Gene Sheldon. The show helped transform the literary character Don Diego de la Vega into the ultimate iconic, beloved swashbuckling masked hero of the time. Even if you weren’t alive when Zorro first aired it’s likely you caught it when it was re-aired on the Disney Channel in 1983 and re-colorizing the episodes in the 1990s or any of the other channels it has appeared on over the years. After the series conclusion, the Zorro adventures lived on from 1960 to 1961 on Walt Disney’s Wonderful World of Color in the form of a four-episode anthology series of hour-long Zorro specials, all of which are also included in Walt Disney Treasures Wave IX.

Bonus Features:

Zorro: The Complete First Season

Zorro: El Bandido – Part 1 of a 2-part story shown as a 1-hour-special on the Disneyland television show (original air date: October 30, 1960)

Zorro: Adios El Cuchillo – Part 2 of a 2-part story shown as a 1-hour-special on the Disneyland television show (original air date: November 6, 1960)

Zorro: The Complete Second Season

Zorro: The Postponed Wedding – A 1-hour special that originally aired on the Disneyland television show (original air date: January 1, 1961)

Zorro: Auld Acquaintance – A 1-hour special that originally aired on the Disneyland television show (original air date: April 2, 1961)

As a lifelong Disney fan, I was weened on a digest of Zorro reruns and still get excited when that theme music comes on. If you are raising your own Disney mouselet, you will certainly want to own both of these Zorro DVD sets and introduce them to the masked bandit.

If you follow below the jump, there are some video clips of what you’ll find on the discs.

Mask of Zorro

You Shall Not

Zorro to the Rescue

Just Hay

Because I Think So

Catching Zorro

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Zorro Seasons I & II, now on Walt Disney Treasures DVD
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Right out of the gate, we get to see an encore of the dance from Team Tango. The band’s version of “You Give Love a Bad Name” is just as terrible as it was last night. Likewise, the team dance is just as fabulous as it was last night. From there, we go into the in-depth recap of last night’s dancing. Michael got good (for him) scores. Donny had the flu. Mark had three partners in one week. Mya still didn’t win over Len. Aaron was a Fury on warp drive. Kelly made Louis wear embarassing trousers, and also made Bruno do a desk dance. Joanna got comments from Bruno that made my husband, passing by the TV, cringe and say “ick”. Then the teams danced.

The results begin right after the jump!  

Now, let’s get started with some results. The first couple safe: Kelly & Louis! The first couple in the bottom three: Mark & Lacey. (NOOOO!) That’s enough results for now; it’s time for musical guest Colbie Caillat, of whom I’ve never heard. I can’t decided if she’s a country artist who has a bit of soft rock/pop in her, or if she’s a soft rock/pop artist who has a bit of country. It’s like the eternal chocolate/peanut butter question. The lovely Alec & Edyta come out to dance, and it’s a pleasant and mellow performance with some cool lifts.

After some insipid questions from Samantha, we’re going to find out another two couples’ fates. Next safe: Donny & Kym (I kind of like his green suit with pink tie). Next in the bottom three: Michael & Anna. Not surprising.

Commercials, then it’s time for the horror. Bergeron has been teasing them as “Mark Ballas and Derek Hough”. The TiVo on-screen guide shows them as “The Ballas Hough Band”, and introducing them right now, Samantha just calls them “Ballas Hough”. Whatever they’re called, here they come. The stage is set with lots of fog and plasma TVs. The boys aren’t doing a great job of keeping their microphones near their mouths while they lip-synch. Their hip-hop dancing is terribly effete. And … oh, you want to know about the song? Well, it sounds like a forgotten B-side from some one-hit wonder band in 1986. But if you want a copy of it, you can buy it at the ABC Web site. (I don’t recommend it.)

Where to go from there? Well, to a package about how nobody wants to be eliminated tonight. The stars are interviewed while wearing workout gear and standing in a creepy warehouse with a shiny-wet floor. There’s a bunch of poorly scripted comments, then … OH, I see, it’s a Fight Club thing! They’re going over the rules of the ballroom. The first two of which are: you do not talk about the trophy. It’s ghastly and oh so wrong. After that, I welcome the palate-cleansing of more results. Three couples remain: two are safe, one more is in the bottom three. Mya & Dmitry are safe. Joanna & Derek are also safe. Which means once again, Aaron & Karina are in the bottom three. Does the rest of America dislike this kid as much as I do? It would appear so!

Our last song of the night is from Rod Stewart. I have to confess, I’ve never been a fan. But he sure looks like he’s singing his face off. Plus, he has a tiny chick playing an enormous saxophone, which is comedy gold. And oh, hey, that song’s also available on the ABC Web site. I have to give ABC props, this whole music-sales thing is a sharp move.

Our bottom three couples are on stage. Now it’s time to find out who gets to dance-off, and who is going straight home. Mark & Lacey, Michael & Anna, and Aaron & Karina wait nervously while Bergeron recaps their performances. A long pause, then we find out that the couple getting the firm boot is Michael & Anna. In their exit interviews, Michael makes some weird comments comparing his time on the show with the economy. What? Didn’t a judge make a joke about that, how they keep hearing he’s going to improve but he never does? But this time, Michael seems totally earnest.

Dance-off time! First up are Mark & Lacey. They’re doing the Cha-Cha-Cha for their knockout dance. Mark starts out standing on the judges’ desk, and does a great wiggle-and-jump start. As usual, they throw in some acrobatic moves for Mark, and there’s a bit much of Mark holding on while Lacey does some showy dance moves. But it’s decent overall. Len calls it sharp, rhythmic, and top-notch. Bruno says what little Cha-Cha-Cha was there was good. Carrie Ann is glad to see them both back in top form.

Next, it’s Aaron & Karina. Their knockout dance is the Jive. They waste the first five bars or so with acting, which is riskier when they have a shorter dance. But when they start doing the Jive, it’s really fast and fairly sharp. Although personally, I’m getting the stench of desperation from Aaron again. He hams his way over to Bergeron after the dance is over, which I don’t care for. Bruno can’t believe that they’re in this situation after last night’s Jive, and this dance was just as good. Carrie Ann disagrees; this dance was better than last night. Len calls Aaron the Comeback Kid, and praises tonight’s dance. I fear for Mark. Will the judges consider the fact that America clearly can’t stand Aaron? We’ll find out, after the break.

The judges praise both couples for giving their all and turning in top-notch dances. Instead of showing their paddles individually like last week, this time Len is charged with giving the news of their unanimous decision in a very Nigel-on-SYTYCD way. The couple they’re keeping is: Aaron & Karina. My Mark is going home. NOOOO!

Next Monday, our remaining five couples will each perform two brand-new individual dances. The final dance turns into everyone holding hands and skipping around in a circle, which is adorable. Although it doesn’t alleviate my depression (NOOOO!) about Mark. Pardon me while I go find some chocolate with which to console myself.

Missy will be crying like a baby over at themissy.com. (NOOOO!)

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Dancing with the Stars: Week 7 Results
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The show opens with a group dance by the pros, showing us some real Paso vs. Tango teamwork. Of course, they’re all fabulous. ABC totally needs to use the overhead camera much more often. That thing is awesome! Then the stars come down the stairs, and it’s trumpet time. But this time there are TWO Trumpet Guys, doing some sort of dueling trumpets thing. I think my head just exploded a little. This week, the stars designed the costumes, so we’re warned in advance that they’ll be hideous. Noted, Bergeron.

Dancing, dancing, and more dancing after the jump!

Michael & Anna – Foxtrot – I have to confess, I always expect the Foxtrot to be fast. Something about the word “trot” in there makes me want it to be like the Quick Step. M&A have costumes in a plummy color that aren’t half bad. Good job, Michael. They’re dancing to “Sunny Afternoon”, and it’s a fascinatingly weird song choice. In hold, Michael’s posture could be better, but his rise and fall is nice. There are a couple of moves where Anna is fully extended (oh, that sounds vaguely dirty) but Michael seems to be holding back. Overall he’s much improved, but still not doing a winning job. They end their routine with a couple of props, for a change of pace. Len is glad Michael is still around, because tonight was brilliant. Bruno says his musicality has improved, but notes that Michael’s bum still sticks out. Carrie Ann calls the performance gracious and fluid, and compliments the costumes. Scores: 8-8-7 for 23, and the audience boos Bruno for the 7.

Donny & Kym – Quick Step – Donny got to wear the posture bar. HA! He’s dapper in a tuxedo, but the dress he designed for Kym is like two beadazzled mops. In the dance, his posture does get a tiny bit slouchy now and then, but overall it’s decent. There are a couple of moments of awkwardness that look like something went ever so slightly wrong. Kym’s choreography is really nice, with some complicated moves. Bruno calls his performance solid as a rock, which was great for covering up all the mistakes. Carrie Ann likes his light footwork, and also calls out four or five little stumbles. Len loves the energy and commitment and pluck. Of course he has pluck, Len — he’s Donny Freakin’ Osmond. Scores: 8-8-8 for 24.

Mark & Anna T. – Samba – Lacey went home sick on Thursday. Tony Dovolani came in on Friday to help Mark. Saturday, back in L.A., Anna came in to finish the work. Good gravy, I’m worried. The costumes are weird — Mark gave himself a mesh shirt, and Anna’s wearing a weird half-dress with green scarves tacked to it. Not a fashionista, our Mark. The opening of the dance is kind of awkward, but the partnering bits are good. Anna’s even thrown in some of the challenging samba rolls, which go well. Mark looks like he’s having fun, which is essential for this party dance. There’s a misstep near the end, and it’s a weird mishmash of actual partner dancing combined with bits of jumping and flipping, but under the circumstances, it’s a fair performance. Carrie Ann says it was a mess, and completely disjointed, and blames Mark’s nervous energy. Len says he didn’t find it terrible, and thought he coped well. Bruno calls it a samba done by kung-fu panda in the middle of the planet of the apes. Then he pounds the desk like a monkey for emphasis. Bruno = brutal. Scores: 6-7-6 for 19.

Mya & Dmitry – Foxtrot – Cloris Leachman came to their rehearsal to talk about what things were like a thousand years ago, when the Foxtrot was new. Cloris nags them as if she’s some sort of professional, and she’s just as unfunny as ever. Mya’s dress for the dance is gorgeous, and Dmitry’s wearing a wonderful ice cream suit. She starts dancing solo in silhouette on the band stage, then it’s go time. Her frame is great, her rise and fall is great, there’s a nice combination of hold with entertaining moves, but I think Len’s going to hate how much of the dance was theatrical stuff. Len … yeah, hates the gimmicks and unnecessary bits. Bruno says they perfectly captured the glamour of Hollywood’s golden age. Carrie Ann says that Len is officially smoking crack. She gives props to the costumes, and calls the dance dynamic, fluid, and graceful. Scores: 9-7-9 for 25.

Aaron & Karina – Jive – In rehearsals, he struggled. They went to a gym, where a tough-guy trainer put Aaron through speed drills. On the dance floor, their outfits don’t really match. He looks like Jerry Lee Lewis, and she’s in hot pink fringe like some kind of Austin Powers fembot. And he’s growing a baby Van Dyck with his wispy facial hair. They’re dancing to “We’re Not Gonna Take It”, which is awesome. His feet are fast, his kicks are high, and he’s staying in synch with Karina. He’s mouthing along with the song in a couple of spots, which I know is a Len no-no, but overall it’s a really energetic and precise performance. Bruno says Aaron kicked fast, “Like a Fury on warp drive — to the galaxy and beyond!” Oh, how I love the crazy talk. Carrie Ann compares him to a road runner, and calls it excellent, though she thought she spotted a bit of weirdness in the middle. Len calls it wild but clean, fast but controlled, fun but not slapstick. He was “tempted to dust off [his] 10 paddle, but…” Scores: 9-10-10 for 29. (Nice fake-out, Len!)

Kelly & Louis – Salsa – The rehearsal process doesn’t appear to have been a pleasant one. Kelly’s stressing out more every week, and there’s more to learn every week. She had at least one meltdown; here’s hoping she can relax. Their costumes are the worst so far, with Louis wearing ghastly fringed pants. Fortunately, halfway through the dance he pulls off the fringe and reveals plain black slacks. There are a few mistakes, and Kelly seems to be making a lot of small, timid movements. The dance ends with a nice spin, and it was overall a decent performance. The audience certainly loves her. Carrie Ann gives Kelly a high ten for making Louis wear those pants. Len stands up to give his comments, and has good things to say, but then tells her to bring it up another notch. Bruno, because he has to go bigger, jumps up on the desk and shakes his rump. He compliments the character — flirty and a little dirty, and naughty-Dottie. Yes, crazy talk! Scores: 8-8-8 for 24.

Joanna & Derek – Rumba – Derek is a big goofball during rehearsal, and we get to see a terrible sketch of his dream romance with Joanna. TERRIBLE. Their costumes are pretty nice, although Joanna seems to have gone a little heavy on the flesh-colored fabric on top. Their opening dip is fabulous, and for the most part the dance (to “The Look of Love”, nice choice) is smolderingly good. There a tiny stumble near the end, and a couple of moves where Joanna hikes up her knee to be sexy, but it looks like she’s going to knee Derek in the man-bits. But for the most part, the mood of the dance was spectacular. Len predicts that all of the judges enjoyed this dance, for three different reasons. Bruno calls her a “love goddess; high-definition feast for the eyes; so sexy I can taste it.” Then he points out the stumble. Carrie Ann loves watching Joanna. Scores: 9-9-9 for 27.

Team Dances – Four couples will dance the Paso Doble, and three will do the Tango. The couples all enter through a lighted ring and a cloud from a vaguely malfunctioning fog machine. Before each dance, we get a wad of rehearsal footage. For Team Paso Doble, all of the pros bickering about choreography. Meanwhile on Team Tango, the three pros choreographed the routine before they taught the stars. Advantage Tango.

Team Paso Doble (Aaron & Karina, Mya & Dmitry, Mark & Anna T., Michael & Anna) come out to dance to “I Hate Myself for Loving You”, and we get a little more use of the overhead camera. Aaron & Karina seem really detached in their solo, and they’re not terribly in synch. Plus, Aaron shouldn’t combine the tiny beard, slicked-back hair, and open shirt. Michael & Anna fare a little better, although Michael’s overworking his angry face. Mark & Anna T. get a cheer just for coming out for their solo. They do well, because he seems made for this dance. Mya & Dmitry have the headlining slot, and there’s more intricate choreography than with anyone else. Plus, she spins so hard her earring flies off. Cool. The team ends with some fairly good synchronized moves, and Aaron and Mark do matching flips. This season has had more acrobatic stars than any other. For Bruno, Mya & Dmitry stood out, and there were some issues with synch. Carrie Ann thought the choreography was a little simple, but applauded Mark for coming back from earlier. Len thought the routine improved as it went along. Scores: 8-8-8 for 24.

Team Tango (Donny & Kym, Joanna & Derek, Kelly & Louis) will be dancing to “You Give Love a Bad Name”, and in the first part they have some good synchronization. Joanna & Kelly rip Donny’s sleeves off, and everyone’s working well together. Kelly & Louis have the first solo, and they totally redeem themselves from their bad Tango earlier in the season. Kelly’s strong, and doesn’t miss steps, and never makes an oops-face. Although their choreography could be more complex. Donny & Kym take the middle spot and rock it, with some intricate moves and a great performance. Joanna & Derek bring it home with some fabulous moves and a delightful spin. Their closing team section is also strong and impressive, and I think they’ve totally beat Team Paso. Carrie Ann runs out from behind the desk and gives the stars high tens, then spanks the pros’ bottoms and chastises them for putting in a lift. Len admits that it’s easier to dance a Tango than a Paso, then calls this the obviously superior dance. Bruno has crazy talk things to say about all three of them. Scores: 9-9-10 for 28.

At the top of the leaderboard: Joanna & Derek with 55 out of 60. At the bottom: Mark & Anna T. with 43. Again this week, the bottom-scoring team will be eliminated, and the next two lowest scores will have a dance-off. I’m crossing my fingers for poor Mark. Go, Sensei Ping! Tomorrow: Rod Stewart, singing! Derek Hough & Mark Ballas, singing! And we’ll winnow it down to a meager 5 couples.

Missy hates herself for loving blogging at themissy.com.

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Dancing with the Stars: Week 7 Performances
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Early reviews for ‘V’ have been mostly good. Here are a few samples:

The surprisingly timely “V” plays off concerns about universal health care, terrorism, sleeper cells and journalists’ access to leaders. But the series is, above all, a first-rate thriller filled with twists, shocks and heroic figures.

Hal Boedeker, Orlando Sentinel

Judging by the first episode, “V” seems like a solid adaptation. But it doesn’t have the mysterious spark it needs to make it compulsory viewing, the way “Lost” lured us in. The problem with a remake is that we already know what lurks beneath the aliens’ faux flesh.

Paige Wiser, Chicago Sun Times

In exchange for their malevolence, they promise to provide a world of fast-paced, eye-catching action and provocative drama. Bold and still surprising, ABC’s new “V” is clever enough for a cult following and accessible enough to reach a broad demo.

Barry Garron, Hollywood Reporter

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‘V’ Premier Tuesday at 8pm on ABC
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Like sands through the hourglass..

So are the Days of Our FlashForwards….

And so begins the weakest episode of the series thus far, one that strays too often into straight soap opera territory and using all its cliches in the process.

We pick up our action just after the attack on the FBI Gang in DC and Janis’ shooting in LA.  Janis is wheeled into (Soap Opera Convention #1) the closest hospital, which is also Our Heroes hospital… who should be on staff to pick up the GSW but (Soap Opera Convention #2) our lead actress who happens to be available and ready to take her in.  Pretty soon Janis is prepped for surgery and (Soap Opera Convention #3) our lead actress also happens to be the one to operate on her.  Janis is saved and wheeled into recovery, but later (Soap Opera Convention #4) develops a sudden, life-threatening complication that only our heroic doctor (Soap Opera Convention #5) can fix – but with tough decisions.

Now apparently Janis can’t have children because of the injury, which seemingly negates her Flash Forward.  Notice she tells Wedeck that there’s basically a “99% chance” she won’t be able to have a baby, which leaves the door open just a crack for it still to happen.  What will the reaction of the others be to this seemingly fracturing of the validity of the FF’s?  I find it hard to think even now, only 3 weeks post-blackout that this hasn’t happened to others around the planet…  something happening that would render their flashforward highly unlikely if not impossible.

I had a random thought – let’s say 580,000 people from around the world entered data into the Mosaic project.  That’s about .1% of the population of the Earth at this moment.   Assuming all things being equal, would the ratio of recognizable flash forwards versus the dark, no-visions (like Demetri’s) be roughly the equivalent to the ratio of people who would typically die out of 580,000 over a typical 6-month period?   i.e. if 578,500 people recorded flashes and 1,500 recorded no flashes, might that equal the typical death rate of 578,000-1,500 over 6 months?  I don’t know what the precise ratio is but it’s interesting to wonder.

Then, by the same token, out of those 578,500 that recorded flashes – how many of them themselves have died already?  Did all terminal cancer patients with <6 months to live have dark flashes?  If they didn’t, would that give them hope to live?  Or if the marginally sick cancer patient who has a decent prognosis have a dark flash, would it pull them into a self-fulfilling prophecy?  The psychological questions are endless, and I really wish the show would explore them a little more.  Maybe in subsequent episodes they will, starting with Janis.

Meanwhile the Soap Opera continues – Olivia’s flash forward begins to manifest itself, as little Dylan runs away from the hospital and finds his way to her house where presumably he and dad Lloyd will at least be visiting with his dad in six months.  He and Charlie greet each other like buddies who just saw each other at school, thought they’ve never really met. (ed: they did meet for 137 seconds in their flashforward.)

Lloyd comes to the house, recognizes it, and is understandably awkward around Mark.  When Olivia gets home we finally see (Soap Opera Convention #6) – the amazingly dead-headed, ignorant, jealous husband.  I can’t stand this character of Mark when he’s like this, and I’m liking him less and less each episode.   After kicking Lloyd and Dylan out, he has a knock-down drag-out with Olivia over her still future infidelity – even beginning to accuse her of starting a flirtation with Lloyd at the hospital on purpose.  Each of Olivia’s arguments are well-reasoned and appropriate – she hints that she knows Mark may be sliding back into alcoholism, which he’s done before, and Mark finally admits he is drinking in his flash forward.  Mark continues to be a pre-alcoholic paranoid jealous ass (and I say this as a man, ashamed for the behavior of a member of my gender – even if he is fictional).

I will admit I continue to appreciate that decision the writers have made not to let secrets linger – now everyone knows what everyone saw in the Lloyd-Olivia-Mark circle of flashes (save Lloyd’s true background, which we’ll get to in a moment).  So far I don’t have to give that plot contrivance a (Soap Opera Convention #) .

Simon (Dominic Monaghan) hurtles toward LA in a rail car, flirting with beautiful women and establishing his character.  We see he’s little like our favorite Drive Shaft guitarist from LOST – suave, sex-starved (well, I guess Charlie was a little like that), arrogant, and apparently brilliant.  He brags about knowing why the blackouts happened and demonstrates the Schrodinger’s Cat theory that when an outcome is in doubt, all outcomes are possible.  Which I suppose gives way to the multiple universe theory and that the flashes were glimpses into a possible, or alternate universe of possibility.  Something similar to this summer’s Star Trek flick, where the timeline we all know and love and grew up with is still there, but Nero and Spock Prime’s excursions into the past caused a secondary timeline to exist.  We’ll see how this explanation works out, and how much Sulu-er, Demetri will play a part…

Speaking of Demetri (how odd will it be when the next Trek sequel comes out to watch Cho, then an unknown playing Sulu, reprise his role with 1-2 seasons of Flash Forward in the target audience’s head?), he and The Other LA FBI Guy (they pop in and out so frequently I lose track) chase down a lead from Janis’ shooter.   A blue hand tattoo leads them (via remembering a point from Mark’s flash-forward enabled Fox Mulder Memorial Big Board ™) to a Blue Man Group Reunion turned ugly.   Apparently there’s a cult of guys running around shooting innocent FBI agents to stop them from busting in their concerts.  Or something like that, it’s never really made clear.  Mainly it cements some of the details revealed in our character’s flash-forwards (just as Janis’ are collapsing).

I have a specific complaint about the rather gratuitous sex scene between Simon and his paramour on the train – did they have to show her with her bare legs wrapped around his torso in the bed?  It’s a bit embarrassing to watch with my 13-yr-old, who loves the show because of the mysteries and action, without having to expose him to R-Rated stuff on at, oh, app. 8:15 pm on the East Coast…

Final Points:

1) Enough with the pop-ballad background music to the intense action/emotional scenes?  It’s just kinda got that cheesy 80’s vibe to it.

2) So now a firm count of 20,000,000 people dead in the blackout.  And all because it was…an experiment?  Could it be as simple as an accidental side-effect of some scientific project, not done out of malice or greed?

3) Loved Aaron’s Obi-Wan costume, and Nicole’s…what, Sally from “Nightmare Before Christmas”?  I’m not sure.   I also loved Aaron’s “Let’s go in the kitchen for some milk and cookies, kids (while the grown-ups fight)”

4) What happened to Sad Sack FBI Guy Who’s In the AFLAC Commercials that was in the car with the others guys being attacked in DC?  I guess he stayed behind.  Maybe he’s from the DC home office.  Maybe he’s got Fox Mulder’s old job :)

See you next week!

Barry

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Flash Forward, Episode 106 “Scary Monsters and Super Creeps”
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I don’t want to put spoilers into this blog, yet it is difficult to convey the hilarity of this show without them! The cast dynamic is excellent as is the writing. If you’re not watching Modern Family, you can watch episodes on ABC.com anytime (in fact that is how I normally watch the show!). While you’re over there, make sure to check out The Middle, too!

Modern Family has not disappointed me yet and I don’t think it will anytime soon!

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Are you watching Modern Family yet?
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Things got mixed up early on when the show opened with the musical guest Taylor Swift performing her new single. I’m not sure who the couple was that danced during her performance, but apparently they didn’t get the memo that Len hates when female ballroom dancers don’t wear ballroom shoes.

After a quick recap of last night, the show got right down to business and Joanna and Derek were sent right to safety, followed by Mark and Lacey. Meanwhile, everyone is spazzing out about the double elimination and the possibility of being forced to perform in the dance-off.

Donny and Kym are also safe, as are – SHOCKER! – Aaron and Karina. Eesh. I sense we may have a surprise elimination on our hands tonight.

Tiempo Libre was also on deck to bring in some serious Latin flavor, accompanied by some sassy-spicy dancing that effectively washed away the memory of last night’s mambo mess. And it wouldn’t be a DWTS results show without …

… a montage! This week’s was about the stars getting to design the costumes for their partners for next week’s show. Memorable moment: Louie Vito asking,”What’s chiffon?” Oh Louie, you have so much left to learn.

And then, just like that, we’re back to eliminations. Mya and Dmitry are sent to safety, along with Kelly and Louis. Before we continue, it’s another Taylor Swift break, this time with “Love Story.” The costume designers took this one literally, dressing our professionals like kids in a high school drama club version of Romeo & Juliet. Out, damned spot, out I say! (wrong play, I know).

Because the concept of “10″ is confusing to some, Olympic gymnast and person with nothing better to do Nadia Comaneci visits to explain to the masses what it means to score a perfect 10. In short, it means you did a perfect job and scored 10 points. Are we clear now? No? Well, let’s bring in Greg Louganis and Bill Walton to explain some more.

Finally! Elimination time! And, AAA BOO HISS Melissa and Mark are going home. I blame the waltz. I thought they had a few more weeks in them, but the waltz takes no prisoners. In other news, Michael and Anna and Louie and Chelsie will be dancing later in the dance-off. The judges seem to like Michael for some strange reason (mostly because he’s this season’s token “you’re trying so hard but….” contestant), so I’m a little worried for Louie. Annnnd….

Cue dance off! Michael and Anna went first, dancing a samba. On the plus side, he didn’t attempt to do the worm. At times it was venturing into Woz territory, but the judges praised his energy and personality. Guess what? Its Dancing with the Stars, not Personality with the Stars. Louie and Chelsie chose the jive, which suits his personality and at least if they’re going to go out, they’ll do so with a bang. I think having to learn so many dances took its toll on Louie, who forgot half the routine. Chelsie was actually leading him around.The judges are pretty easy on them, all things considered.

Finally, the time had come. Michael and Anna were saved, thanks to Len and Carrie Ann’s votes, and Louie and Chelsie were sent back to the slopes. Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night til it be next week, when two more couples will be eliminated.

When she’s not misquoting Shakespeare, The Disney Chick is blogging over at www.thedisneychick.com.

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Dancing with the Stars: Week 6 Results
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Mya and Dmitry Chaplin – Jitterbug: The couples who have the jitterbug have an almost unfair advantage, because you can do lifts in the jitterbug, and basically – it’s the anti-waltz. As usual, Mya knocked this out of the park – their dancing was super fun, had great character, and captured the spirit of the jitterbug (and heyyyy Dmitry, wanna come sweep my floors? Please?). Predictably, Len hates all the theatrics but doesn’t use his typical phrase, “none of that messing about.” Bruno loves it and raves about Mya’s timing, but Carrie Ann claims it wasn’t  wild enough. Personally, I think the judges are continually underrating them so as to add some drama into this season, because right now – there ain’t no competition. These guys are the best.  Scores: 8-7-9.

Melissa Joan Hart and Mark Ballas – Waltz: In a Dancing with the Stars tradition, Mark’s adorable British mom comes to visit and whip his partner into shape. And in another Dancing with the Stars tradition, Mark and Melissa are made to dance to a late 80s/early 90s power ballad. Melissa was not great here;  she had some unsteady moments and dropped her shoulders occasionally, and overall the waltz was missing the smoothness that defines the style. Bruno said she wasn’t dancing up to par for week 6, Carrie Ann agreed, and Len tried to soften the blow by praising her elegance. Scores: 7-7-6.

Mark Dacascos and Lacey Schwimmer – Jitterbug: Things I learned during this show: there is such a thing as a “jitterbug club,” a magical place where couples jitterbug with reckless abandon in extremely close, sweaty quarters. I would be terrified someone would kick me in the face. But for Mark, dancing in da club gave him the jitters in all the right places. This was an explosive, outrageous, insanely difficult jitterbug that solidifies Mark as a real contender in this competition. Carrie Ann did some awkward in-seat break dancing from sheer excitement, Len loved it, and Bruno called it “truly spectacular.” There was apparently a timing oopsie at the end, but I didn’t catch it and I don’t think it matters. Scores: 9-9-8.

Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff - Waltz: Aaron has been in the bottom two weeks in a row, mostly because he is annoying, so he needed a miracle here. Unfortunately, he got the waltz, which, no matter how well he performs, is not the kind of dance that traditionally excites viewers into a phone-dialing frenzy. And oh look, another treacly ballad. This routine had some lovely moments, but was missing a lot of the romance that makes the waltz truly gorgeous. Len called it his best dance so far, Bruno said Aaron lost his footing in places, and Carrie Ann thought it was beautiful. At the end of the day, I don’t think it was particularly memorable and unfortunately for him, I think there’s a good chance he’s once, twice, three times going home tomorrow night. Scores: 8-9-8.

Michael Irvin and Anna Demidova – Waltz: Oh Michael, you’re dancing on borrowed time. Do the producers know that it’s acceptable to perform the waltz to songs other that classic adult contemporary? Seriously, I’m waiting for someone to bust out The Bodyguard soundtrack. Back to Michael – this dance was fine, nothing spectacular. He got creative with his arms at times, but overall he needs to step it up. Bruno agrees and says it wasn’t good enough for week 6, Carrie Ann calls a lift violation, but Len liked it. Scores: 6-8-6.

Kelly Osbourne and Louis Van Amstel – Jitterbug: Kelly’s recovered from last week’s injuries and Louis decides to help her heal by making her swing on a trapeze. Their jitterbug was okay, no major mistakes, but the routine paled in comparison to tonight’s other jitterbugs. And Kelly still needs to work on not letting her nerves show in her face. Smile, Kelly! Everyone likes you! Carrie Ann says she sets herself up for the worst, Len called her dancing “a blueberry muffin with no blueberries,” and Bruno says she need to work on her performance and get rid of her fear. Scores: 7-6-7.

Interview montage break! This week and next week, the couples are faced with the possibility of performing in a dance-off. Zomg, scary!

Louie Vito and Chelsie Hightower – Jitterbug: These two had lots of rehearsal fails until Chelsie decided to infuse their jitterbug with some snowboarderness. And while I wish I could say they shredded this, it was more of a wipeout. Louie’s standing backflip off the judges table was tremendous, but that was about it. He threw poor Chelsie right onto her butt, the shirt ripping was awkward, and the whole jitterbug was so crazy frantic that it was truly cringe-worthy. Len and Bruno both called it clumsy, and Carrie Ann said she liked it but can’t overlook the mistakes. Scores: 7-7-7.

Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough - Waltz: Derek’s time away from the show has made him cranky. Lots of stomping and bad moods in rehearsal, but they managed not to kill each other on the dance floor. It was a nice waltz, they hit some great lines, but Joanna’s footwork still seems wonky. Bruno called them “butterflies dancing in an alpine meadow,” Carrie Ann said Joanna seemed hestitant, and Len called it the best waltz of the night. Scores: 8-9-9.

Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson – Jitterbug: Donny, put that jittahbug away before you hurt someone. Choo Choo! Here comes the awesome train! Donny’s been great all season, and this dance was no exception. Pure fun. And once again, huge props to Kym for her great choreography that makes the most out of Donny’s strengths. Carrie Ann called out a couple stumbles, Len claimed there was too much choo choo, and Bruno called Donny a steam train, whatever that means. Scores: 8-8-8.

Then: the first-ever competition mambo! Basically, all the couples dance together until they get knocked out. Only one couple will be left standing, and points will be awarded based on how long each couple stays in. It’s an endurance test, and each couple must “own” their space, termed “floor craft.” You know how in figure skating competitions, all the skaters warm up together and sometimes they triple axel into each other? It’s kind of like that. Competition-style dancing is a tough order for TV, because there’s so much going on it’s tough to keep track of the action. Here’s how it went down: Michael and Anna were the first to go, followed by Louie and Chelsie, then Melissa and Mark. Tom Bergeron continued to impersonate a golf announcer, and then Kelly and Louis were tapped out, to be joined shortly by Mark and Lacey. Next out were Donny and Kym, followed by Aaron and Karina. Mya and Dmitry were given second place, awarding Derek and Joanna the top spot despite the fact that they looked like tipsy guests at a wedding, flopping around all over the place. I guess you don’t actually have to dance well in the competition mambo, you just have to keep dancing.

Michael and Anna are almost a lock to go home tomorrow, which other couple do you think will join them?

The Disney Chick can be found choo choo ch-blogging over at www.thedisneychick.com.

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Dancing with the Stars: Week 6 Performances
The Disney Blog - Disney News and Information -- by fans, for fans

Thanks to Shelley Divnich Haggert for sending in these morsels. Shelley will be the recap/reviewer for the series here on The Disney Blog:

Is it a bird? A plane? Nope, just an alien race, planning to take over the planet.

It looks like the remake of “V” is getting off the ground after all. The
series, which halted production (amidst a rumored overhaul) for a while
back in September, will debut November 3, and ABC is promoting it in a big way. Starting Friday, skywriters will create giant V’s across the sky at 26 U.S. landmarks. The skywriting will be done multiple times a day at each site until the series launch. (Via Reuters)

The show, starring LOST alumni Elizabeth Mitchell, will air for four
episodes and then go on hiatus until after the Winter Olympics. This
“split season” is a risky move for ABC – viewers might be reluctant to get emotionally invested in a show they know will be off-air for most of the winter. Will four episodes be enough to hook the audience and will they return in the spring?

Meanwhile, let us know if you spot a giant “V” in the sky this Friday!

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Looking forward to ABC’s ‘V’
The Disney Blog - Disney News and Information -- by fans, for fans

Last night: people danced well! Tonight: a Michael Jackson tribute! Also: 9-time Grammy winner Norah Jones looks cute as a bug! But first, an endless recap of last night’s dancing. Turns out that Kelly hurt her ankle during her dance, and Ozzy wheeled her out to an ambulance to go get it checked out. Bergeron lets us know that she has a sprained foot and a contusion, but will be able to dance the Jitterbug next week (if she makes it through).

Len lets us know that the encore will go to Donny & Kym for their Argentine Tango. It’s just as delightful as it was last night, and Donny’s serious face is just as serious. You go, Donny Freakin’ Osmond. I like your face more every week.

(Norah Jones and the Michael Jackson Tribute below the jump)

We get the first of a bunch of little packages where the professional dancers talk about how great it was to dance to Michael Jackson songs during the show. Commercials, then it’s Norah time. Her song starts out sounding like it’s going to be a cover of “Higher Ground”, but then it gets all funky and swanky, and some strange new dancers come out to do a sort of ballroom-meets-Tyce-Diorio-grade-jazz routine. Norah is backed with four other musicians, but the really fascinating one is a woman with B-52s hair playing a couple of drums with towels thrown over them. It’s perplexing, but at the same time hip.

After Norah Jones, Samantha introduces another recap. In this one, the dancers all talk about how the audience votes are so important, and they all hope they did enough to get America voting. Then it’s time to start the drama. We begin with last night’s top three couples. Mark & Lacey are safe (Yay, Sensei Ping!), and so are DFO & Kym. Likewise, Mya & Dmitry are safe. No surprises so far.

Time for another package, this one about how Monday goes for everyone. Hair & makeup, the delicious craft services table, onstage, backstage, dressing rooms, wardrobe. It’s a really weird package, with stilted voice-overs by the celebrities and totally staged footage of the celebrities walking around passing the shot off to each other. I do love that everyone wears big fluffy red robes around wherever they go. Toasty!

Next up for elimination: the three couples who tied in the middle, with 24 points. Joanna & Derek are in jeopardy. Kelly & Louis are totally safe. And Aaron & Karina are in jeopardy. Wowsers! Aaron is going to have to buy up some handkerchiefs, because clearly America wants to keep him in the bottom and see him cry some more.

After some commercials, two more couples are up for judgment — the lowest-scoring man and woman. Michael & Anna are safe, but Natalie & Alec are in jeopardy. What, are we going to have a bottom three? Or a bottom four? They’re switching things up again, and I don’t like it. Backstage, Samantha interviews Kelly and Michael, while out in front Norah Jones gets set up to perform “Come Away with Me”. With this new haircut, Norah looks kind of like Rachel Weisz. Pros Jonathan and eliminated-Anna dance a beautiful Waltz (This song was their wedding song!), and everyone involved is just too adorable.

The remaining two couples, Louie & Chelsie and Melissa & Mark, get to find out their initial results. Louie & Chelsie are safe, while Melissa & Mark are in jeopardy. So we’ve narrowed it down to a bottom four.

But before we get to the final results, it’s time for the Michael Jackson tribute. Michael’s siblings, the DwtS dancers, and one of the DwtS singers all say lovely things about MJ’s works and his inspiration. LaToya introduces the tribute dance, and I have to be honest, she can’t read a teleprompter to save her life. The dance includes tons of MJ moves like the moonwalk, as well as snippets from The Wiz and the “Thriller” zombie dance. The whole thing is hokey and charming and cheesy and wonderful, all at the same time.

Time is now short, so it’s time for the rest of the results. These bottom four couples have all either been at the top of the leaderboard or within one point of the top. Crazy! The first couple sent away to safety is Melissa & Mark, followed quickly by Joanna & Derek. That means this week’s bottom two are Aaron & Karina and Natalie & Alec. Bergeron throws it to the judges, where Bruno boggles that Aaron is back in the bottom, and Carrie Ann is disappointed to see Natalie there. Len is upset because neither team should be here, because the voting public is too much in love with poor-dancing underdogs.

Our couple going home this week: Natalie & Alec, and I wish I’d placed money on that bet. Poor Natalie looks terribly distraught, and everyone else seems quite upset as well. They get a standing ovation for their final dance as Bergeron & Samantha fill us in on next week. A dance marathon Mambo! The dreaded double elimination! A dance-off! And Taylor “I’mma let you finish” Swift. And in case you missed the eight thousand commercials, V starts November 2nd. Go, lizard guys!

Missy used to know the entire “Thriller” dance by heart, back in 1983. She also blogs at themissy.com.

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Dancing with the Stars: Week 5 Results
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Anyhoo. Last week Aaron & Karina were in the bottom two, but Chuck & Anna got the boot. This week, we’ll see the ten remaining pairs dance either the Argentine Tango or the Paso Doble, as well as a group Hustle. And some of our competitors are riddled with the flu (we don’t yet know if it’s swine or otherwise). Samantha’s hair has been given the light-socket treatment tonight, and she manages to flub her very first line of the night. I certainly hope that’s a sign of things to come. Enter the stars, and GO TRUMPET GUY! Also tonight, Maks is stepping in for a flu-ridden Derek to dance with Joanna.

Natalie & Alec – Paso Doble – Alec tells Natalie right off the bat that the dance is all about power and aggression, and she starts the rehearsal footage appearing softer and quieter than usual. Will she get it? Can she tap into her competitive side? They start their dance at the judges’ table, to the tune of “American Woman”, with Natalie wearing a red, white, and blue outfit. Flashy. Her opening moves aren’t as crisp as they should be, and her whole dance seems a little too heavy, a little too grounded, and overall pretty tame. Len commends her clean and precise dancing, but feels the dance lacked aggression. Bruno says he missed the conviction and artistry. Carrie Ann thinks she moves really well, but wants more extended movement. She also calls out a lift, which I had to rewind for. It’s a borderline call; I can see arguments pro- and against-lift. Scores: 7-8-7 for 22.

Aaron & Karina – Argentine Tango – Last week, Carrie Ann told him to chill out; his desperation makes him hard to watch. This week, he has to tackle another sexy dance, but there’s still nothing sexy about him. Karina brought in some friends to show Aaron the manly moves, and it made Aaron all giggly. In the dance itself, I’m … surprised! He’s totally drawing on his Draco Malfoy-grade snobbiness and snootiness, and it’s kind of working. Although I have to wonder if the spots where Karina wraps her legs around him like a lemur count as lifts. He’s still a bit stiff and awkward, but he also seems much more relaxed than in previous weeks. It’s an improvement. Bruno praises the character and passion, and compares him to Robert Pattinson in Twilight. Except Aaron’s only half as sparkly. Carrie Ann beckons Aaron forward, then gives him a pair of cheek kisses. Excellent. Len compares previous weeks to a little boy lost in the wilderness, then opens his arms wide and shouts, “You’ve come back to me!” As they head backstage, Bergeron points out LaToya Jackson in the audience (sitting next to the red-hot Stana Katic from Castle) and lets us know that LaToya will be back tomorrow for the Michael Jackson tribute. Plus, Norah Jones. Backstage, Aaron seems on the brink of happy tears. Scores: 8-8-8 for 24.

Michael & Anna – Paso Doble – I have to say, I love knowing what they’re going to dance just by looking at their outfits. Last week, Michael tied at the bottom of the judges’ leaderboard, but America kept him out of the bottom two. He thinks he’ll do well at the Paso — passion and aggression are what make him great at football. In rehearsal, Anna wants him to stand like he’s holding a coin between his butt cheeks. He proceeds to get a coin out of his bag, and … well, ten points to Michael. If you see him anywhere out there, tell him to keep the change. On the dance floor he has his stern face on, but his moves are still wooden and awkward. And a few of his steps are still small and hesitant, as Carrie Ann observed a couple of weeks ago. It’s a better dance than last week, but he’s still at the bottom of the skills pile. Carrie Ann calls it her favorite dance so far. Len likes the posture, the knee walks, and Michael’s flair. Bruno advises him to keep the nickel in his butt. Michael then pulls out a nickel and gives it to Bruno, and Bergeron makes a weird flu joke. Scores: 7-7-7 for 21, and the audience boos.

Mya & Dmitry – Argentine Tango – In rehearsal, Dmitry tells Mya that they’re allowed to do lifts. Ah, that explains Karina the lemur. Their rehearsal process apparently includes a lot of accidental kicks to delicate man-areas. This week it’s their turn to go out volunteering with Habitat for Humanity, in conjunction with the ABC/Disney give-a-day kick. After a break, the dance begins up on the band stage … and stays up there for half the dance. I called my husband in to help me identify the song (”They” by Jem, by the way, and not the Jem of “and the Holograms” fame), and he said, “She’s such a ringer.” He’s not even watching the show, and he’s of the same mind as I about Mya having too much dance experience. Overall, the choreography isn’t as great as I hoped it would be. There are some nice moves, but it’s just not all that exciting. Len says he usually doesn’t like too much messing about on the stage, but he enjoyed this dance. Bruno calls it intricate like lace, precise, with an air of sophistication, but he warns of losing the emotional connection. Carrie Ann agrees about the good dancing, and the lack of emotion. Backstage, Mya promises to take the judges’ comments to heart and give 100 percent. Ten points to her for not saying 110 percent, one of my big hyperbolic peeves. Scores: 9-9-9 for 27, and her highest score from Len.

Mark & Lacey – Paso Doble – Last week he loosened up in the Two-Step. Lacey thinks the Paso will suit his aggressive side, but throughout rehearsal she has a hard time digging out his inner tough guy. Oh, and she’s giving him a solo this week. His solo consists of a few stomps and steps up on the band stage, before Lacey bursts out of a cloud of fog and runs toward him. His posture is great in the dance, but his intense face might be a little TOO intense. More like stalkerish. They throw in a couple of martial arts moves, and I’d say through most of it, Mark actually appears to be leading. Which is good, for him. Bruno gives props to the sharp, angular performance. Carrie Ann says there’s a difference between force and power, and tonight he was “in his power”. Len says you need posture, power, and performance … and he had all three. Lovely! Scores: 9-9-8 for 26, their highest score so far. Go, Sensei Ping!

Donny & Kym – Argentine Tango – This week, Donny not only had to learn two dances, but he also did a show in Las Vegas with Marie. He’s fretful that he won’t do well, but … come on, he’s going to do great. He’s Donny Freakin’ Osmond. They dance, and he totally has his serious face on. The dance is crisp and sharp and Kym looks absolutely fantastic. It’s slow, then fast, then slow, then fast — a great mix of speed and passion and kicking. They get a standing ovation from about half the audience. Carrie Ann says the Argentine Tango LOVES Donny Osmond, and she saw a whole new side of him. Len loves the intensity, the quiet moments of passion, the fast and sharp. Truly their best dance. Bruno says, “Finally Donny Osmond is turning into Donnie Darko.” Donny puts his serious face back on, and tells Bruno, “You took me there!” Bruno and Donny, sitting in a tree. As they head backstage, Bergeron gives props to Harold Wheeler and the singers and band. The cameraman barely touches on Jewelry Head, and heads leftward to give the guys some limelight again. Scores: 10-9-10 for 29, and Donny is a delight to watch as his first 10s ever are revealed.

Louie & Chelsie – Argentine Tango – Last week, he walked a lot. And stomped a little. And tied for the bottom. The Snidget is going to make sure not to disappoint the fans this week, and I believe he calls his Tango character “Vito Loco”. The dance begins around a chair, and after they stand up and start actually dancing, Louie looks shorter than ever. Something about this outfit, I don’t know. His sexy face is good, and he has a lot more footwork than last week. It’s just unfortunate that he had to follow Donny Freakin’ Osmond, because it’s a decent tango; just nowhere near as faboo as DFO’s. Again, half the crowd stands to applaud. Len says he wasn’t expecting a lot, and was pleasantly surprised. Bruno calls it great storytelling, but wants Louie to stop stepping and start dancing. Carrie Ann says that Louie’s strength is the way he partners with Chelsie. Scores: 7-8-7 for 22. Well done, Snidget.

Melissa & Mark -Argentine Tango – Before their package, Bergeron points out Stana Katic and Nathan Fillion in the audience, That guy is a hunky dreamboat. (A check of Nathan’s Twitter shows the most recent post: “I am ringside at DWTS!!” I love this technological age.) Last week, they tied for first place and got their first 10. This week, Mark has the flu and wears a construction dust mask for rehearsal. Then eliminated Anna comes in to take over at least one day of rehearsal, and gives Melissa the woman’s POV. Out on the dance floor, Mark’s bright red spats are really distracting. They have some great synchronized kicks, but then near the middle there are some awkward steps. She’s finally getting her moves almost as big and broad as his, which is nice. At the very end, she gets her fishnets stuck on his suit buttons, adding some delightful unintentional comedy. Bruno says she looked more grumpy than sexy, and missed many steps. Carrie Ann disagrees, and says Melissa nailed the character. Len says the dance missed some of the seduction, but she coped well with difficult choreography. Scores: 8-8-7 for 23, and the audience gives Bruno a hearty boo.

Kelly & Louis – Paso Doble – Finally another Paso after a wad of Tangos. Kelly giggles a lot in rehearsal, and finds the concept of being “the cape” very strange. They’re dancing to Ozzy’s “Crazy Train”, HA! Kelly’s hair is huge, and Louis has seriously smoky eyes. There’s an awesome skull on the dance floor. The dance itself is just okay — she’s heavy-footed like Natalie was, and the dance just feels too grounded. She’s also concentrating way too hard. Ozzy stands to applaud. Carrie Ann says she saw little bits of nervousness come out. Len wants her to work better on getting the character of the dance. Bruno tells her that when she gets on it, she should stay on it. It’s all the same stuff about her confidence and nerves. On the plus side, it looks like Kelly has lost fifteen pounds since starting the show. Scores: 8-8-8 for 24, which is Kelly’s age for one more week.

Joanna & Maks – Argentine Tango – Last week, Derek caught the flu from being shirtless. So this week, Maks will stand in for the performance show. On Wednesday night, Derek felt the ague coming on (Cue weird shot of Derek pulling his shirt off his head, run in reverse so it looks like he’s magically tossing his shirt up over his head. What?) and Thursday night Maks came in. On Friday, they staged a phone call and found out that Derek would be out the whole week, so they started over with fresh, new, consistent choreography. They start their dance with a tiny bit of acting around a lamp-post, Joanna helps Maks put on his coat, and then the dance becomes awesome. She’s light on her feet, the kicks are sharp and slick, it’s all sexy, and then it looks like MAKS stumbles over his own feet. They pick it back up, but the second half isn’t as great as the first half, and has a couple of hesitant moments. Bruno says he was living his fantasies until the stumble. Len thinks they did a great job under the new-partner circumstances. Carrie Ann loves the chemistry they found in one short week, but wants more flexibility from Joanna. Backstage, Derek is there with a couple of comments. Joanna says she misstepped, and that caused Maks to lurch. Scores: 8-8-8 for 24, which is decent, but you know she’ll be kicking herself wondering what her scores would be if there hadn’t been that mistake.

Group Hustle – After the commercials, we come back to find a huge, sparkling “DO THE HUSTLE” sign hanging over the band. Bergeron lets us know that Kelly hurt her foot during the Paso Doble, so she’ll be doing the Hustle barefoot. The judges won’t be giving scores on the group dance, so this is all for us. We get a package of their group rehearsal, where Creepy Corky Ballas teaches everyone. As the group works together, Kelly realizes she’s not that bad. And Louie stumbles around adorably. Everyone practices crazy lifts! Aaron and Louie challenge each other to a flip-off (that sounds dirtier than it is)! Joanna lands awkwardly on her diamond-encrusted watch! And something flies out of Louis’ nose and into Kelly’s mouth. Ew indeed, Kelly.

The dance opens with a shot of Harold Wheeler conducting the band, wearing Paul Shaffer’s jacket and Elton John’s sunglasses. The couples tromp down an aisle through the audience, resplendent in 70s fashion. They line up, and it’s time for the pairs to show off. Louie & Chelsie are up first, with Louie wearing ginormous fake sideburns. Some good steps, a little stiff, and a nice lift. Then it’s Melissa & Mark, who stumble through their lift and have a terrible dismount. But Melissa’s cracking up afterward. Kelly & Louis move stiffly and have no lift, but that may be due to Kelly having just injured her foot. Mark & Lacey have some showy flips, a tiny stumble, and then he beats her buns like bongo drums. His wig is hideously fun. Aaron & Karina do some sharp movements, and Aaron’s footwork is really large. Their lift is nice, but then he hams it up by winking and pointing at the camera. Dude, there’s that desperation again.

Donny & Kim do a weird flip-thing that mostly can’t be seen because the camera is behind a cloud of theatrical fog. Maks & Joanna do the same lift that Derek tried in rehearsal, when he dropped her on her fancy watch. You can tell at the bottom of the lift that Joanna’s terrified of being dropped. Natalie & Alec don’t set the world on fire, but she does some nice splits. Alec’s wig is the worst of the lot. Mya & Dmitry … I take it back about Alec’s wig. Because Dmitry has a glossy black mullet on. They do a beautiful lift. Michael & Anna bring up the rear, and I’m genuinely afraid he’s going to pitch her over his back and she’ll crash into the floor.

Bruno calls the whole affair “sublime and ridiculous at the same time.” Carrie Ann complains that Michael was standing in front of her so she couldn’t see half the dancing. She does call out a couple of the more horrifying wigs. Len gives specific props to Mark, Aaron and Donny.

Phone numbers and recaps happen. At the top of the leaderboard is Donny Freakin’ Osmond & Kym with 29, while Michael & Anna are at the bottom with 21. I think most of us can agree that Michael should go home, but it appears that America likes him. Second-to-last on the leaderboard are Natalie & Alec and Louie & Chelsie, tied at 22. I’m going to go out on a limb and predict that Natalie will be going home, but I fully expect the show to surprise me.

When not wearing her glossy black mullet wig, Missy blogs over at themissy.com.

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Dancing with the Stars: Week 5 Performances
The Disney Blog - Disney News and Information -- by fans, for fans

What I like best about Modern Family is not necessarily the main plot. While I enjoyed Shelley Long’s character and her storyline, it’s the small things that really had me laughing. Young Manny’s debonair attitude is just hilarious. This week he went to his first slumber party, and, while he got teased by his friends, it only made him try harder (even though he did get in his revenge).

The character development of this show is what keeps getting better. As we get to know everyone, we learn what makes them tick, and their little idiosyncrasies are funnier every week. I continue to enjoy this new comedy as well as The Middle, another surprising hit for ABC. I hope they stay around!

Editors Note: Modern Family, The Middle, and CougarTown all got picked up for a full season by ABC.

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Modern Family Revisited
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